the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Lame Excuse to Show Photos of French Women in Their Underwear on a Friday Afternoon

Be careful when making love to a French chick cause their tits could poke your eye out.

The latest from Paris:  the doily draped over the ass.

Hey lady, take off the blindfold.  You forgot to put your clothes on!

The Wii-fit has arrived in France!

Nothing says sexy as much as a French babe peeing into a vase.


  1. ingrid

    i was the body-double. the french come to me.

  2. ingrid

    haahhahaahahahha… ahem.

  3. Neil

    I wouldn’t think you would want such pointy boobs as the first one. Dangerous (but can double as can opener).

  4. ingrid

    true. would need special padding just to hug someone or else they would get impaled. nasty.

  5. followthatdog

    you’re cracking me up. Awesome.

  6. *pixie*

    Doily-butt sure is perky.

  7. Velma

    Boy, you think someone would have thought that last one through a little better, huh?

  8. Anonymous City Girl

    that is the pointiest boobie i have ever seen!

  9. TC

    Shoot. Even *I* wanna grab that girl’s ass! Thanks a lot, Neil. Until today, I was perfectly comfortable in my heterosexuality, but now I’m all confused!

  10. kat

    this? made me chuckle.

  11. miguelina

    This reminds me of the french guy that sat in front of me the first semester of B-school. He had the Aubade “Lessons” ad campaign as his screensaver. It’s a miracle he didn’t flunk out of school.

  12. Memarie Lane

    Oh come on, you know that made your blood rise.

    I’m wistfully longing for the day, in 2-3 years, when my last child will be weaned and I can get my promised perkification. I’ll have to make sure the surgeons know that it’s not a pointification I’m after.

  13. mr_g

    And why would you need an excuse to post this stuff? I mean it’s educational, isn’tit?

  14. better safe than sorry

    i love the shoes the wii-fit model is wearing.

  15. stepping over the junk


  16. Jane

    OMG, it really does look like she’s peeing into the vase. You’d think with all the airbrushing done on the Audabe models, they could have at least airbrushed some toilet paper into the scene.

  17. schmutzie

    You are being featured on Five Star Friday:

  18. Neil

    Uh, Schmtuzie, hopefully not for this dumb post.

  19. anymommy

    I needed to laugh today. It’s been a long week. Except for your comment on that second one. That made me cry. That is not a big ass. I know big asses, and that is not one.

  20. Neil

    Anymommy — men like the big asses.

  21. gorillabuns

    You could poke an eye out with one of those things.

  22. V-Grrrl

    Having lived in Europe for years, I was ever so impressed with the lingerie, until I went to buy some and saw that many of the panties cost $60-$80 a pair. What can I say, my ass was not worthy! I could not put $60 panties on a $10 ass. I got my doily panties in America where they understand the economics of underwear transactions.

  23. Kathy

    The breasts in the first picture scream distort tool.

    I thought the French were above that: photoshopping perfect bodies. Aren’t those Europeans supposed to appreciate real live droops and sags?

  24. AnnieH

    C’est magnifique!!

  25. wendy

    sure thats what you were thinking Neil…Uh huh….sure.

    Ps That girl has a very nice ass. Even I know that!

  26. anymommy

    Yeah, I’m with Wendy on this one. Nice backpeddle, but the tone of that caption wasn’t complimentary.

    Now my husband and I are arguing over who sang ‘fat bottomed girls.’ Aerosmith or Queen? Any one?

  27. Pat


  28. Neil

    Queen sang it.

    And I took out the “big” from the “big ass,” although I only meant it in a positive way. Women! The joke is about the size of the underwear, not the ass.

  29. chez beziat

    Zut alors! How beautiful. What a long workday it was knowing that you were kind enough to share these images with us and that I dare not peek via my work computer.

    Neil, you are a good, good man.

  30. Neil

    I felt bad for my female readers, like they were cheated today. So, this is for you —

  31. CP

    That ass so belongs to a latina babe. No french woman would own an ass like that. Hell…I think it is a Jewish latina for that matter. We all know whose asses rule the world.

  32. Caron

    I’d almost forgotten. After removing the bandages after breast reduction, I had those same northerly pointing breasts. Gravity is an amazing force

  33. Danny

    I always thought it was those 1960s bras that were pointy, but maybe it was really the boobs underneath! And THAT’s your gift to your female readers–a blurry longshot video of some skinny guys on a runway? You can do better than that! I looked at the Aubade website (it’s a good thing I don’t work in an office!) and saw one of the models above described as “Ondine, La Voluptueuse.” If that woman is voluptuous, I am Jabba the Hutt! I’m surprised you left out the name of model #3 above which is “Sophia, La Glamoureuse.”

  34. Neil

    Danny — What does it say about you that you went to the website and explored it so thoroughly?

  35. Danny

    Um…shopping for my wife?

  36. Nina

    I am 100% straight, but I can really get into pictures of beautiful women in their underwear. Girls are nice to look at. End of story.

  37. Lexi

    Um, yeah….that really does look like a vase.

    When did French women get so…perky?

  38. John

    “Be careful when making love to a French chick cause their tits could poke your eye out.”

    Oh please. You live in L.A. There’s barely a tit in Southern California that couldn’t poke your eye out.

  39. linda woods

    Neil, your blog sucks. Your flickr and twitter are ok, though.
    I like to grant wishes, so I told all my bloggers how much your blog sucks. I know it doesn’t really count because I am not a mommyblogger but some of my blog readers are mommybloggers and they agree with me. I think you can cross that wish off your list now.

    [I hope you bloggers can see that I am writing in my BEING FUNNY FONT and don’t all send me hate mail.]

  40. Zombie Mom

    I love french underwear.. and truth be told, despite being as het as they come.. I think women model underwear so much better… that said – some of those photos must be photo-shopped, no?

  41. Iron Fist

    Please do more of these.

  42. Dana

    Great. I feed you two really good ideas to blog about, and you come up with this instead? Oy.

  43. Jane

    That ass has implants. Nobody’s ass is that bubbly.

    The mommybloggers probably know that.

  44. lu

    doily on the ass…classic!

  45. Christine

    The models are probably dumb, right? If there is any justice, they are as dull as…well, something really, really dull.

  46. Stacey

    I’m going to print out a picture of doily-butt and bring it to the gym to show my trainer. If I could just up my perkiness quotient, that ass could be mine.

  47. Neil

    Christine — They are dumb. Except for the one with the nice ass. She has a philosophy degree from the Sorbonne.

  48. natalie

    the legs…that’s what i want…those legs. any of the above will do!

  49. Lara

    HA! Neil, you crack me up.

  50. HeyJoe

    Sorry, were you guys saying something? I was mesmerized by that nice, sturdy turd cutter.

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