Something seems to be going on with me… in my head. I’m all over the place. Today I’m finding the last post I wrote a bit embarrassing.  I’m still glad I wrote it but, just so my mother understands, I wasn’t really writing about prostitution.  I was more interested in the make-up of super-achieving men in business and politics, and how they will go for what they want, even if it means breaking the rules. Anyway, I’m bored of the Spitzer story. I hate how the media moralizes about salacious stories, then milk it for attention and ratings.
I wrote another post this morning about some other subject, but then decided I didn’t like where it was heading.  I was going to write something about Sophia, but I’ll get in trouble if I don’t ask her first — and she isn’t home. Is it possible that I am so co-dependent that — without having a woman as a muse — my writing falls apart?  It’s as if I’m now using my blog as my own high-priced hooker. I don’t know what that means, but it seems accurate.
I also received this nice email from Brett from Dad Talk:
Your Spitzer post has a number of typo/grammatical errors, which is most unlike you. I don’t want to make you paranoid, but I thought you’d want to know.
My wife is always on my case about my mistakes, too.
Thanks, Brett. (anal!) (Pearl, help me find the typos!)
Desperate to put something here to knock the Spitzer post one notch down, I’m going to show you the two framed posters that I have in my office. I have owned them for at least 15 years, and I look at them every day. They are by Matisse and Dominique Appia.
I find the woman in the Matisse painting very very sexy. I would much rather be there than any strip club on Hollywood Boulevard. Men… imagine your woman walking around the house at night in THAT!
I like the chaos of the events in this surrealistic painting. It has a calming effect on me.  OK, it’s pretentious. But I like it.
I SO know that feeling sugar. I am suffering from it. I call it limbo and not the good fun kind where you are all silly and trying to slide under a stick.;-)
Ooops–forgot to say how cool the art is….Yum
Eh, f mistakes! We all make mistakes now and then.
Ooo! And I likey the Dominique Appia!
Who hasn’t written a blog post that makes the author cringe in hindsight? Frankly, it’s a sign that I’m at a blog that I really like reading.
It’s fine that you’re all over the place for a bit. Creative types usually are. We loves you, Neil.
I do believe the last picture might be very indicative of how you are feeling as of late.
Is that second print a Michael Parks? We used to have one of his pretentious prints on our wall. Then we got over ourselves. 🙂
Oh lordy, nearly every post I write makes me cringe. Everyone goes through that. (Even worse, I leave most of my typos scattered throughout the blogosphere in the comment field. )
I had that very same Matisse poster up in my first apartment, after college!
Whenever I start doubting myself and/or freaking out about my unworthiness, utter stupidity, foolishness, etc., etc., one of my best friends always responds with, “Ah…fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke!”
Your writing will not fall apart without a woman as your muse. Besides, many great writers have used their sorrow/struggle to write incredibly good literature.
Misteaks are what make you human. Writers always make them, that’s what editors are for.
Your Matisse chick has really big feet. Did you notice that?
insert supportive comment
I’m not sure what it should say. But imagine it being very good. OK?
I think your mental state is probably just where it should be. Plowed up. Think of a field getting ready for planting. Eh, you’re a city boy, so probably that doesn’t mean anything. Maybe you saw it in a movie once? “Milagro Beanfield” maybe? Anyway, the churned up bit means lots is coming to the surface.
Let it out here, baby. We love to go treasure hunting!
And, to stretch that metaphor just about as far as it can go, think of the sh**y posts as manure. And all the lovely flowers or tomatoes or whatever your field will yield in a little while.
but first the plowing….
Of course, that leads one to think of seeds and there we are, right back at the Spitzer post.
*sigh*
maybe the hokey pokey really IS what it’s all about……
I absolutely adore surrealism, but then again, i dream kind of like that so it makes sense to me.
and yea. I want that outfit the matisse woman is wearing. Maybe some lucky man would like to see me in it.
you know what i’m ready to be sick of? when the girl (hooker, if you will) becomes famous/writes a book/stars in her own reality tv show. you know it’s coming.
and don’t worry – high-priced hookers are sort of baffling, as are men like spitzer. rambling is justified.
It may just be thatI’m in a cantankerous mood, but I always thought muses were for inspiration, not permission.
I’m all over the surrealism. (I didn’t realize it was pretentious.) 🙂
You know maybe you’re just too worried about us the readers. Just let it flow… what’s there is there.
happy blogversary to you too! unfortunately, you have kicked my ass in the general blog department, since your blog is actually… read. by people. and stuff.
i have quite a bit of catching up to do by our five-year. any idea on where i can find 500+ readers in the next 12 months?
🙂 ha.
Turnbaby — Limbo? Isn’t that the place between heaven and hell?
Pants — I always was under the impression that it was a female artist, but I just noticed for the first time today that Dominique is a male!
Gorillabuns — I dind all the activity going on more relaxing than chaotic.
HeyJoe — I know, both posters are very dorm-room stuff. Sophia wanted to throw them out, but I put them in my “office” instead.
Kathy — Does WordPress have a spell checker? I don’t think so…
Ellen Bloom — Great, you always know what to say to make me feel mature. Maybe I need to buy one of your paintings to replace the college stuff. I like the one with the woman in a bra.
Marge — Men like women with big feet.
Miss Britt — Thanks.
NFH — That was very poetic. And fertile.
Sheapants — Thanks. I totally forgot that I started my blog on my birthday in 2005. So, I am four years old, too. That means we can finally eat at the adult’s table!
i had the Appia painting in my apartment in University… i would stare at it for hours and hours trying to figure out what was going on and what the artist was trying to say… then one day i got really high on pot and for one small moment the entire thing made perfect sense and i understood the message… but i never wrote it down or told anyone…and it is now forever lost in the Forgotten-Pot-land of memories.
By my scanner, I have a whole bunch of artwork that bloggers have done. These paintings and photos from Margaret, Finn, SAJ, and others, are much more beautiful than these sentimental posters. Maybe it is time to retire these old posters completely, and display original art, like an adult.
Dude, I think those are my paintings…
I agree with you, the chaos in that painting is calming and relaxing. Do we know why that is?
PS: I just discovered your blog and we are blogdating right now. You’re a riot, child.
Oh, one more PS: I adored your post about why you launched the “Interview”. very cool, bubbie.
Hey Neil, looks like your ship’s coming in!
On the Matisse: drop dead sexy. Anyone with a pulse and a healthy interest in wimmins will find that informing their dreams.
The second paining: … that’s Entre les Trous de la Memoire by Dominique Appia … it’s a lovely work in the style of Magritte. I love that style of work. When I was a kid and saw those surreal landscapes and roomscapes, I wished I could step into them. I still do.
I used to have a poster of that second painting. I think my ex-girlfriend wound up keeping it.
I like the top one, too.
both of those are very beautiful and more “than the eye can see”…
that second one is very inspirational.
um.
There’s only one strip club on Hollywood Boulevard. The west end of it (La Brea to Laurel Canyon) is residential, the East end (Western to Vine) is mainly unremarkable little businesses along with some remnants of old Hollywood, and the middle (Vine to La Brea) is the Entertainment District (touristy stuff). That one strip club is near Vine, where Sardi’s Cafe used to be.
which Pearl? me? Or Toronto Pearl?
And I love that print. It hung on my wall for years. Nothing like a bit of surrealism to understand life better with.
Please. Your writing is not falling apart.
But I do think blogs are quite similar to hookers! Some put out a LOT- you know, those powerhouse ho’s. Then there are the high class, ultra expensive, really pretty ones that make everyone look bad. Let’s not forget about those that whore themselves around Blogworld. Then there are those who sell out because of their low self esteem. I could go on and on! 😉