Citizen of the Month

Missing!

Missing:

Cheesy spiral notebook with the Los Angeles Dodgers logo on the cover. On the first three pages of the notebook is an unintelligible (to anyone but me) hand-written blog post about “Neil” and “Sophia” meeting via email. This notebook was last seen sitting under a chicken burrito at Wahoo’s Fish Tacos on Pacific Coast Highway in Manhattan Beach. The notebook was bought for 99 cents at the 99 Cents Only Store. It has no value to anyone other than the owner, who HATES nothing more than writing something TWICE after he loses the original.

The blogosphere awaits the return of this important blog post, which is key to understanding the complicated and utterly confusing relationship between Neil and Sophia!

There is are two rewards for the person who brings about the notebook’s safe return:

1) He will be named the Blog Crush of the Day on Friday.

– and

2) He will receive a gift certificate for a free fish taco from Wahoo’s. (but not for the more expensive one with the guacamole)

(and from now on, I write my posts either on the computer or on my arm)

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: Wanted — A Hot Scorpio Woman

Tags: absent minded, losing stuff

23 Comments so far
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No, no, no! You lost your WORDS! It’s every writer’s nightmare.

I think you should Google “Neil and Sophia” and see if the missing entry appears on someone else’s blog. Someone may be trying to STEAL your identity!

Meanwhile, I’ll engage in a fantasy where a famous Hollywood power broker finds your notebook, recognizes your amazing talent, and launches a hunt of his own to find the writer of the Neil and Sophia chronicles.

Yeah. I know. I’ll stop commenting now and go take my medication. How much weirdness can one comment box hold? Apparently, a lot. ;D

Hmmm…I smell something fishy about the disappearing notebook. I’m gonna get Nancy Drewish and the Hardy Boychiks on the case immediately!

Thanks a lot, Neil… Now I’m homesick for fish tacos. Which for the record, are non-existent in Boston. I mean, there are “wraps” that Parade around like they were fish tacos, but they are a far cry from the corn tortilla hugged fishy, cabbagey goodness that sings to the souls of all native children of the Golden State, especially of Mexican descent. *heavy sigh*

Drag about the notebook.

Dear Neil,

I have been stalking you for weeks waiting for the oerfect moment for you to take your eyes off of that tasty little morsel known as the Dodger notebook. I happen to know that not all of what you write in your notebook makes the final edit cut on the blog, therefore I had to resort to stalking you in order to obtain the aforementioned notebook so I could see the words you cross out.

Sadly I have decided that I am too attached to the aforementioned notebook and thus unable to return it (without serious therapy).

Does this mean I won’t get the fish taco?

I’m with V-GRLLL, I’m sure a Hollywood power broker found it. I hope you included your phone number.

No guacamole? Why bother handing it over?

Does it have to be a fish taco? And no guacamole? You are a sadist.

You want your notebook, I want my guacamole, get it?

what’s this “he” business? you know damn well your readership is 95% female.

Write your posts on your systems page. Save often.

I think the third and most important reward would be finally having insight into you and Sophia’s relationship. Although, blog crush and fish tacos sound nice too.

Sizzle — I used “he” because I know men would more likely to return the notebook for a fish taco. By nature, women are selfish, and like the black widows so many of you are, you would blackmail sexual services from me if I ever wanted to see my little Dodgers notebook ever again. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if YOU stole it.

I’m sorry, but losing this notebook has made me bitter.

And the really sad part of this story, is I don’t even like the Dodgers. I like the Mets!

I will not pony up an obscene amount of money to fly to LA from Birmingham unless I get guacamole. And I want a chicken taco, not fish. I hate fish! Do I get nachos with it?? A drink?? Maybe I’ll just stay put for now and let someone else dig through the dumpsters!!

I’ve never had a good fish taco. But I don’t have your notebook. Sorry.

I’ll call them at ten and see if they found it.

I would like to be able to watch that Wahoo and see if it gets inundated with blog readers trying to find the prize, then sell it on ebay.

What will happen if you accidentally leave your arm under a fish taco? Besides it smelling like dead, ground-up fish, that is.

Sorry to hear, dude. Hope she shows.

Gah, I hope a Wahoo’s worker did not throw it out!

Feh on the mets.

i just read your latest post, so i guess this means you’re your own blog crush of the day!

while i love fish tacos, the chances of finding your notebook in oklahoma, are slim to none. sorry, to hear you lost something so personal and hopefully, you didn’t have any porno stashed in your book.

RE: “By nature, women are selfish, and like the black widows so many of you are, you would blackmail sexual services from me if I ever wanted to see my little Dodgers notebook ever again.”

Wow. And still women flock to your blog.

Because I speak the truth.

I am beyond merely stunned at the concept of the fish taco, I am horrified. This innovation in taco use, like nuclear terrorism, biological warfare, and Paris Hilton, bespeaks a contempt for the ordinary decencies of life and proves beyond any possibility of doubt that democracy as we understand it is doomed.

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