Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Yesterday’s Deleted Post



  1. Yeppers!
    Am first!
    And why did you delete it?


  2. At least you didn’t leave it out there on the line long enough for everyone to see your unmentionables.

    It’s got to be hard to maintain any sense of privacy when the whole neighborhood has seen your underwear flapping in the breeze.

  3. Fitena — a little too much personal information too soon. In a real soap opera, you need to drag the story out as long as possible…

  4. Whew. I thought I was going crazy there for a while.

  5. So your soap opera was canceled?

  6. Those are decent-looking clothes on the washline. Perhaps they should be shmattas (rags or ratty clothing) instead.

    That picture is worth a thousand words…words that you deleted.

  7. Oh Neil, you’re a tease.

    And that looks like CLEAN laundry to me, being hung to dry. I don’t think anyone airs dirty laundry anymore, what would be the point?

  8. Oh come on…a little dirty laundry every now and then keeps things from getting boring. That’s why we watch soap operas isn’t it?

  9. When I read the original post when it was aired (because I did read it, yeah), my very first thought was “no way I’d leave a comment on that post because I’m sure Neil will have to delete it at one point”.

    I was not being judgemental, I was just very surprised you published it for the sake of what you were trying to find out for yourself.

    Good luck anyway!

  10. I read the original post, and I have to say, the hot cocoa sounded nice. I may come see your mother, too.

  11. You know, the time to think of that would have been BEFORE you dropped your pants hit publish.

  12. I discovered that deleted posts live on in Google Reader. Once something is cast into the universe, it’s hard to take it back. Well wishes to you and your soap opera’s cast of characters.

  13. At least I have my copy. And my comment. It probably the most honest and thought-provoking thing I’ve heard since we last heard from Neil’s Penis.

  14. Neil, for what it’s worth, we all have dirty laundry. That some got a peak of yours only means you’re one of us. :p

    The two of you keep working at it.

  15. OK, so who’s selling bootlegs of the original post? Enquiring minds want to know.

  16. Neil, was it something I said? I was totally kidding about being put off that “your pain is showing through your humor” and requesting that you put on a slip. I mean, have you read my blog lately? It’s heaping with dirty laundry. I mean, it needs to go on one of the those Clean House Emergency shows on TLC and be publicly shamed into picking up its s**t.

  17. Neil, I’m glad you deleted your post. Somethings are best worked out off line. This is the same comment I would have written to you if the post had stayed up. Good job for taking it off.

  18. vgrrl – I’ve got one. Let me know what format you need it in (MSWord, Open Office or RTF). My email address is available on the profile link on my blog. And I don’t charge for content that was free to begin with.

  19. am i to assume that now you can’t even talk about how YOU feel on YOUR blog?


  20. i read the original post via bloglines. i was surprised at the honesty. however, i agree some things are best left to the offline world.

  21. You should let your penis do all the talking.

  22. Some of us writers share the personal in the public arena to get support from strangers because we don’t feel we’re getting that support in our personal lives.

    I think those who say this kind of honesty best remains in the offline world may have a stronger support structure in the offline world than the rest of us…

  23. I wondered about that…. It’s scary to let it all hang out sometimes. I’ve done the same on occasion, and sometimes I just let it be and see what happens. I have to say that I’ve always received such love and support from the amazingly wonderful folks that bother to read me, that now I look to them for support, and they never dissapoint. We all have dirty laundry and we all need support and encouragement. That is what binds us, no? Bloggers are the best in that regard.

  24. Deezee, I think you are exactly 100% on the money with that one.

  25. Just wanting you to know that I heart you, Neilochka. I read the original and didn’t think it was overly personal, whatever that means. I agree with Deezee. I just wanted to give you tons of support. So, I am!

  26. I have to disagree with Deezee & Becky as it relates to a blog that you have shared with everyone – both on and off line. There is a fine line when you have told all your friends and family about your blog, you know they read it and then they see themselves in your writing along with everyone else. While I hope they are not naive enough to think that you don’t discuss your issues with other people I would think that there would be some sort of discretion in how those conversations are made. I have chosen not to tell my friends and family about my blog and therefore in my mind I am talking to “my support” system and receiving advice and at the same time my friends and family are shielded from words I might not necessarily say to them but which I can share with my support system.

    In the end, it’s still a personal choice on who, what and where you communicate your life. I don’t believe one is better than the other as long as the end result is you find what you are looking for.

  27. I missed the other kind of laundry.

    Hope it’s getting all sorted and folded and wrinkles out tho.

  28. I totally agree with Deezee. I don’t have a lot of offline support either. Just hang in there.

  29. I was at the supermarket check out a few weeks ago and didn’t Luke and Laura recently get back together?!

    Good luck,

  30. Two Roads,

    Yesterday’s post was far from the most personal thing Neil has shared here. I found it respectful and honest. I actually didn’t see it as airing dirty laundry.

  31. I am a huge fan of “airing dirty laundry” or whatever you want to call it when it’s done in a respectful, sensitive way and when the goal is to understand yourself better, as yours is. But I also understand the fear and feelings of vulnerability of putting personal stuff out there and the issues it can create with the people who share our lives. Every time I do it I develop slight amnesia and then I’m shocked if someone refers to my personal struggles. “What? Did I write about that? Oh my God!” But I know that when I’m reading someone else’s writing, it’s always those personal revelations that touch me the most.

  32. I wish you and Sophia the very best – now and in the new year, too. As to posting something deeply personal, I’ve done it several times and have ended up deleting nearly all of them, but I still felt better afterwards for having gotten it out of my system. (Hi to your mom, too…you’re never too old to need cocoa!!!)

  33. I read yesterday’s post, too. I wanted to comment, but didn’t know what to say. I have to believe things will work themselves out. I do respect your decision to take it down.

    I’m going through something rather horrendous right now, but have chosen not to write about it publicly. Different strokes, I guess.

  34. Whatever it was you posted yesterday, I hope the writing of it helped you.

    I try not to write overly personal posts, except when I drink and blog and then I’m horrified the next morning. I really need to get that breathalyzer installed on my keyboard…

  35. Sadly, you’re like my friend Maria. You chose to write under your real name, and to identify people you write about by their real names. You just can’t be honest when you do that. It’s too painful.

  36. Churlita, I also need a breathalyzer on my keyboard! And my phone. DEFINITELY.

  37. Did you know your blogroll is missing? 😉

  38. Hey, no one told me to take yesterday’s post down. No one tells me what to do on this blog. This blog is mine and I will write [deleted]. No one is going to tell me what I can or cannot [deleted]. As a man, I am the master of my [deleted].

  39. Nobody puts Neilochka in the corner. ;P

  40. I understand the concerns. I have posted some very personal items on my blog. It sometimes quite uncomfortable to have it all hanging out there.

  41. Is that an “Austin 3:16” shirt I see on the clothesline?

  42. It figures, I’m finally the first to comment, and then you delete it. And…I was so willing to be of help. (my husband, kids, bird, and dog will love you).

  43. Up one minute, down the next. Take care of yourself, Neil.

    P.S. You might want to consider knocking your housemate demands down a notch.

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