the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Why I Moved to Los Angeles

"It Never Rains In Southern California" by Albert Hammond

Got on board a westbound seven forty-seven
Didn’t think before deciding what to do
Ooh, that talk of opportunities, TV breaks and movies
Rang true, sure rang true …


Seems it never rains in southern California
Seems I’ve often heard that kind of talk before
It never rains in California, but girl, don’t they warn ya?
It pours, man, it pours


I’m out of work, I’m out of my head
Out of self respect, I’m out of bread
I’m underloved, I’m underfed, I wanna go home
It never rains in California, but girl, don’t they warn ya?
It pours, man, it pours


Will you tell the folks back home I nearly made it?
Had offers but didn’t know which one to take
Please don’t tell ’em how you found me
Don’t tell ’em how you found me
Gimme a break, give me a break


Seems it never rains in southern California
Seems I’ve often heard that kind of talk before
It never rains in California, but girl, don’t they warn ya?
It pours, man, it pours


Upcoming Movie Sequels in Development/Confirmed     

A Bugs Life 2
Alien 5
Austin Powers 4
Blair Witch 3
Battlefield Earth 2
Baby’s Day Out 2
Bad Boys 3
Bean 2
Beetlejuice 2
Blade 3: Trinity
Blue Streak 2
Bringing Down The House 2
Bring It On 4
Beverly Hills Cop IV
Bulletproof Monk 2
Caddyshack 3
Commando 2
Cabin Fever 2
Candyman 4
Cats & Dogs 2 [Confirmed]
Country Bears 2 [first bombed?]
Coyote Ugly 2
Cheech and Chong Smoke The Bong
Crocodile Dundee 4
Crow: Wicked Prayer
The Commitments 2
Congo 2
D4: The Mighty Ducks 4
Daredevil 2
Darkness Falls 2
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo [Confirmed]
The Fast and the Furious 3
Final Destination 3
Finding Nemo 2
Freaky Friday 2
Galaxy Quest 2
Ghostbusters 3
Grease 3
Godzilla 2
The Goonies 2: Goonies Never Say Die
Grosse Pointe Blank 2
Halloween 9
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix [Confirmed]
House of The Dead 2
Hellboy 2
Hulk 2
Independence Day 2
Jaws 5
Johnny English 2
Jumanji 2 [Confirmed, Zathura]
Kangaroo Jack 2: Jack is Back
Karate Kid 5
Kindergarten Cop 2
Lethal Weapon 5
Legally Blonde 3
The Lizzie McGuire Movie 2
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2
Monsters Inc. 2
Mortal Kombat 3: Domination
Men in Black 3
The Mummy 3
Old School 2
Operation Condor 3
Parent Trap 2
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 [Confirmed]
Planet Of The Apes 2
Predator 3
Police Academy 8: Yet Again [Confirmed]
Pretty Woman 2
Punisher 2
Rambo 4
Robocop 4
Roger Rabbit 2
Rocky Horror: The Second Coming
Rocky 6
Scary Movie 5
The Mask 2 [Confirmed]
Scorpion King 2
Scream 4
Seriously Dude Where’s My Car?
Shrek 3 [Confirmed]
The Sixth Sense 2
The Skulls 3
Star Trex XI
Streetfighter 2
Sweet Home Alabama 2
Spiderman 3 [Confirmed]
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Time Cop 2
Tomb Raider 3
Total Recall 2
Toy Story 3
The Transporter 2
Tremors 4
The Tuxedo 2
Twister 2
True Lies 2
Underworld 2
Under Siege 3
Vertical Limit 2
Wrong Turn 2
X-Man 3 [Confirmed]
XXX2 [Confirmed]

(via The Movie Insider)


  1. Neil

    Before anyone makes a tirade against Hollywood, I’ll make my own comment. Despite my HATRED of these remakes, I find the concept fairly amusing and realize that these shitty movies bankroll the good movies that never make money. Look at all the idiots who made Big Mama’s House 2 the top movie of the week. The studios only make what people want!

    So, there, Neilochka, fuck you and your anti-Hollywood rant! And you know you like LA more than you say!

  2. Neil

    Fuck you, too. I’m going back to bed.

  3. Alissa

    The best part of this post? That you’re commenting to yourself.

  4. Jaclyn

    Nah, the best part is that Bambi 2 is one of the tags.

  5. AWE

    Neil, I am seeing voices on your blog.

  6. Kristine

    Kangaroo Jack II…that is hilarious!

  7. Dave2

    What, no sequel to “Brokeback Mountain”?!?

    In other news, Galaxy Quest 2 would be awesome!

  8. cruisin-mom

    Neil, you’re talking to yourself? Any other voices inside that handsome head of yours? (Nice to see that you’ve been living in L.A. just long enough to develop a fashionable psychiatric disorder).

  9. Edgy Mama

    Guess we’ve just got to start giving the people what they want, Neilochka: free blog posts.

  10. JJ

    Nothing succeeds like excess.

  11. Trix

    Lethal Weapon 5: Riggs becomes a soldier of God before the Glorious Reappearing, while Murtaugh walks around saying, “I’m definitely too old for this shit.”

  12. M.A.

    Why can’t anyone be happy with one good movie? Ugh.

  13. amanda

    no way…wait, wasn’t there already a xxx2 with ice cube?

  14. Pearl

    I’m waiting for NEILOCHKA: Take 2.

  15. maribeth

    Actually, when Disney bought Pixar, Steve Jobs ordered that “there will be no Toy Story 3.” Then he strangled the executive responsible with the Dark Side of the Force.

  16. claire

    I actually feel a bit ill after reading that.

    Bring It On 4? I didn’t know there was a 3. And is something really a sequel if all the characters are different?

  17. lizriz

    Personally, I’ve realized that I’ve developed a strong bias against sequels. Until popular opinion persuades me otherwise, I just assume they suck and avoid them like the plague.

  18. Richard Mason

    A number of these aren’t “upcoming,” they’ve come and gone. Transporter 2. The Mask 2. Underworld 2 [Evolution].

  19. Neil

    Richard, you’re right. I guess the list is a little old. And the fact that you noticed tells me that you see a lot of crappy movies.

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