the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Up All Night, Applying for Jobs

Monster jobs

(Last Night) I Didn’t Get to Sleep at All by the Fifth Dimension

Last night I didn’t get to sleep at all, no, no
I lay awake and watched until the morning light
Washed away the darkness of the lonely night

Yahoo jobs

Oh and last night I got to thinking maybe I, I, I
Should call you up and just forget my foolish pride
I heard your number ringing, I went cold inside
And last night I didn’t get to sleep at all

Variety jobs

I know it’s not my fault, I did my best
God knows this heart of mine could use a rest
But more and more I find the dreams I left behind
Are somehow too real to replace

Mediabistro jobs

Oh last night I didn’t get to sleep at all, no, no
The sleeping pill I took was just a waste of time
I couldn’t close my eyes ’cause you were on my mind
And last night, I didn’t get to sleep, didn’t get to sleep
No I didn’t get to sleep at all

distraction

NOTE 10 A.M. —  Since many of you have criticized my choice of my final woman, let me make a few changes here and show you who I really daydream about, and who really distracted me from my job search last night:

ash.JPG
ASHBLOEM

laura.jpg
LAURA

fitena.jpg
FITENA

amanda.jpg
AMANDA (ON RIGHT) AND HER SISTER


Today on Blogebrity:  Peggy Archer  (Peggy Archer’s site)

55 Comments

  1. Fitèna

    lol! I actually was starting to e moved till the job site banners started appearing!

    Fitèna

    PS: i’d love a paragraph from you for my short story contest. 🙂

  2. jungle_jane

    In Australia, pages on the net labelled My Monster rarely refer to jobs….:-)

  3. JoeC

    hey! all the best to ya, cheers then.

  4. He's Dead, Jim!

    I’m guessing you picked the last one.
    Namaste from snowy NYC.
    ~HDJ

  5. HighMaintenanceHussy

    teehee. hang in there.

  6. Laura

    Wow, she’s in human resources? Who knew?
    ~L.

  7. JJ

    What about all the sweet cash you’re pulling down from the Blogebrity gig?

  8. Pearl

    Neil, why are you looking for a job? Your job is to keep entertaining us with your brilliant and wacky posts.
    Can’t you just write a syndicated humor column for some syndicated paper or magazine — your blog is certainly a great resume in itself!

  9. Kestrel

    Ok, I was feeling ya until that last photo. I was like, “Aw, looking for jobs is never any fun, poor guy…”

    Then BAM! Titties.

    lol

  10. DCS

    Amazing. May I study your mind to see how it works? LOL

  11. Melissa

    Somehow I don’t think her knees got that red saying her rosary at mass…

  12. amanda

    eew, i don’t like that girlfriend of yours at the bottom…kinda scary.

  13. Neil

    Amanda, if you send me a photo of yourself, I’ll switch it!

  14. Debby

    Ah, please get some sleep now so you will have more energy in enlightening us with your witty posts and better spirits in anticipating a new job and getting one. 🙂

  15. ashbloem

    Boy, do I know what you’re saying.

  16. Sanora

    I’m with you Neil and man is that WB Job site evil, evil, evil…could it look anymore like the black hole it is?

  17. M.A.

    I hope you find a job and a girl.

  18. Heather B.

    Neil man, if you’re going to put a “hot” girl up, then at least make sure she’s hot. That one looks like she got up from giving head too quickly thus resulting in a back injury.

  19. subgirl

    hahahhaa lmao at heather b.’s comment. and yeah. she’s got that sort of dazed crackhead stare.

  20. Elvira Black

    The world is waiting there
    In those beautiful balloons
    Below that blonde’s long hair
    Are those beautiful balloons…

  21. The Retropolitan

    Funny, my nights look pretty much like yours.

  22. Neil

    Tell me about it Retro. Unlike the others, I’m sure you don’t see anything wrong with that nice girl I used in that photo? Women can be so catty. Frankly, I imagined her getting her master’s in Political Science at Yale and us staying up all night discussing the current administration in Washington. But then again, the other women below her are much hotter.

  23. ashbloem

    Awwww. I’m right up there with porn!

    How sweet!

  24. mrsmogul

    Those are the sites I’ve been too. but eh hem not the sister’s photo!

  25. danielle

    I feel so left out… I better put up a new photo soon.

    Mediabistro does work, by the way. And what are you looking for, and where?

  26. kris

    Dammit to hell. How many photos do I have to send to make this damn blog? 😉

  27. Carrie

    Dreaming about Ashbloem…nice to see you do have good taste I was worried after seeing that first girl!

  28. better safe than sorry

    you should be looking for a hot babe that’s also a sugar mama, that way you won’t need a job.

  29. Mik

    Hope the job search goes well.

    Mik

  30. Laura

    Ha!!! I am sooooo blushing right now.
    Better go hide behind my camera.
    ;P
    ~L.

  31. schuey

    I still have strippers in my retianian memory so I like you first one very much so…

  32. Dan

    They should make two different internets: One with practical stuff and one with girls. Because as long as girls are right there, how is it reasonable to do anything else?

  33. Brian J. Hong

    Wow, all of them huh?

  34. pia

    Really really not an expert on picking girls, but Laura is adorable

    And, uh, mediabistro, which everybody pretends not to read, but when I wrote a letter and an editor read a pivotal word wrong and accused me of being anti-Semitic, I heard about it for weeks from all the people who say they never read it–even for the job listings

  35. TWM

    Mmmm, Amanda is a honey of a brunette. How about you take her sister (who is cute too).

  36. TWM

    Oh wait, you said the right. Eh, whoever the brunette is then. LOL

  37. Leesa

    Wow, Laura..you’re photos are just popping up everywhere:)

  38. Spirit Of Owl

    Girls jobs, jobs girls…

    Yeah, I can see the dilemma.

  39. modigli

    wait a second – no picture of BROOKE in her BIKINI?!!!
    What’s happened to you, Neil!? This staying up all night on the net has your priorities all switched around! 😉

  40. Neil

    How can anyone fantasize about Brooke from that tiny profile photo? I’m not going to sit here with a magnifying glass for any woman! Brooke knows where to find me if she has a better photo.

  41. ms.sizzle

    you were soliciting photos?! i am shocked and appalled!

    why wasn’t i asked?

    😉 sizz

    p.s. your blog readers are very good looking you lucky man.

  42. Neil

    How stupid can I be? After saying I knew everything about tampons, I’m revealing that I really know nothing about women. How could I have shown four photos of beautiful women without realizing that now every other woman is going to be pissed that her photo is not there.

    Sophia, help!!

  43. Sophia

    And where’s my photo?

  44. Elaine

    Neil, this is your mother. Where’s my photo?

  45. Fitèna

    lol! Gee, If I knew my photo’ll be posted!!!
    C’est très agréable…. mouaaaah!

    Fitèna

  46. Jackie

    Hey, we’ve all been in your shoes, up-all-night-doing the application thing. Blech. Good luck. 🙂

  47. Bill

    I thought your final woman was quite appealing in youth-with-spinal-spasms kind of way. But I thought your subsequent choices equally fetching. You’ve a fine eye!

  48. bella

    it’s good you have your priorities in order.
    1) pretty women.
    2) job hunting.

  49. Suley

    I definitely think the sugar mama route is the best route. Some of us fellas are just too pretty to be expected to work.

    -Suley

  50. Networkchic

    It’s nice to see you have a broad range of tastes. I think you should pic number two pic – the one in the back.

  51. Jack

    I better stop sending you my photos. 😉

  52. Scotch

    At first blush, I thought the title was “Up All Night Applying For Foot Jobs.”

    Yeah, dude. You got good taste in real girls. It’s a fact. It’s a matter of fact.

  53. TANISHA

    Neil,
    I am feeling unloved here. I was you first black female reader damn it!!–wink

  54. akaky

    So how come you didnt post a pic of Sophia or your mother?! Or is this just a case of them having helped you get this far, you dont need them anymore and you’re looking for someone new? You should be ashamed of yourself, you contumacious wretch!

  55. TravelJob

    Applying for jobs is often a “joke”. they put them up only because the law obliges them to, but then they “recruit” their friends and family members. 😛

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