somebody got paid a lot to lift zantarded names from other places…makes me sick…hand over zantac please

By wendi on 08.31.05 9:10 am

One miiiiiiiillion dollars.

By kris on 08.31.05 9:11 am

When I want to give up, completely, I often fantasize about jobs someone has, that I could have, potentially. Lipstick-color-namer is on the top ten, right after smokey-jazz-club-singer. Never has it been naming-things-that-are-most-likely-bad-for-you. Never, I say. Lipstick is good for the soul, unlike feed supplements and weightloss aides.

By ladymathematician on 08.31.05 9:16 am

I love brainstorming creative names for products and slogans — maybe I should’ve been a copywriter instead of a copy editor!

Don’t know how much these folks paid for these selling tactics, but the marketing innovation teams must’ve studied ZEN for their enlightenment and then put those preachy lessons into practice!

By Pearl on 08.31.05 9:58 am

They’re probably going for the “Z” infrequency.

Missed you, Neil. Oh, and I threatened to sic you on this guy in Fresno who dissed me. He apologized, though.

By Edgy Mama on 08.31.05 10:10 am

Please add Zyntech and Zyntek to the list. Thank you, Alice.

By Neil on 08.31.05 10:31 am

It’s the .com thing that screwed everything up. I AM a copywriter so I know exactly how it happens …

By Josia on 08.31.05 10:35 am

…and with creative spelling.

By Tatyana on 08.31.05 11:04 am

lots. and i sure would LOVE to have that job!

By jenny on 08.31.05 11:46 am

Mmm. Feed supplements.

By Jay on 08.31.05 12:08 pm

wow, neil…i don’t even know what to say…good work, but i wonder what inspired this search…

By amanda on 08.31.05 1:08 pm

Amanda, thanks for being so curious! I like that. Sophia had a cold last week, and I searched Google to see if Zantac was the right medicine. But I spelled it wrong and got something else. Then, I noticed all the other products that had the similar names. I found it amusing. I’ve always found the naming of products intriguing, though lately names have become less and less interesting as they are focused grouped to death — Celebrex, Allerest, Prozac, Viagra, etc. — they all sound like alien planets that the Starship Enterprise would visit.

By Neil on 08.31.05 1:59 pm

Oh…My…GOD!!! I’m working on a corporate name change project and it’s a struggle that’s going on three years of development now.

Let me tell you why companies come up with such uninspired craptastic names: The power of multiple opinions. The more people you involve, the more “vanilla” the outcome will be.

It’s my daily nightmare. :/

By Atomic Bombshell on 08.31.05 2:13 pm

I think those millions were well spent, I suddenly have the urge to take all those pills.

By Melliferous on 08.31.05 2:19 pm

Does ‘Zyn’ some sort of etymological significance? If you switch the z to an s it’s like ’syn’ or the same.

hmmm….

By M.A. on 08.31.05 4:35 pm

Don’t forget Xanax! Same sound, different letters, may cause drowsiness.

By Brooke on 08.31.05 5:17 pm

Brooke, you can’t deny the similarity anymore (see my comment above)

By Tatyana on 08.31.05 5:33 pm

I’m surprised they haven’t all sued each other yet, when you’ve got companies like Krispy Kreme going after little mom-and-pop operations called Crispee Cream or something like that…

By Melanie on 08.31.05 7:45 pm

I could have done that. Damn.

By Leesa on 08.31.05 10:12 pm

Oh dear. I just had to send an e-mail to a certain committee that the names I proposed for the new product line may involve some copyright infringements. Damn you!

By Bill on 08.31.05 11:00 pm

Excellent observation and commentary. I aspire to work at a design firm someday, but think the part where they charge thousands to millions for putting a dictionary in a blender and pasting a brand name together like a ransom note is highway robbery.

By L.N. Smithee on 08.31.05 11:50 pm

They probably just used refrigerator magnet letters!!

By mrsmogul on 09.01.05 2:16 am