Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Whatever Brings Them In, Part 3

spray.jpg

From the Kabbalah store:

Over the millenia, ancient kabbalists understood water to be the source of all cleansing. Making use of Kabbalistic technology, they would activate the cleansing power of water. These waters have been energized with the same 4,000 year old technology. To direct the cleansing power of the water to the area of your body that needs healing energy, simply spray on the area.

Disclaimer: The producer and distributor of this water do not claim any specific physical benefits which might be achieved by using it.

19 Comments

  1. I’ll stick with a shower… Someone should start selling blank pieces of paper, you know, the one with all the answers on it. Five bucks a pop. Make a bundle I’m thinking.

  2. Water? It cleans things? I think I better stop using beer to wash my clothes and face then. Thanks Kabbalah!

  3. I think Kabbalah should do the same thing that Axe Body Spray does for this water — it’s not just about healing, it’s about healing and chicks!

    That might help it sell more units.

  4. I’m so very happy when I see other religions acting as ridiculous as mine.

  5. I’m fighting my mouth from going into a diatribe…

  6. I am going to bottle my own spiritual water. Eat at Jack’s and get some Blogwater for only $2.95.

  7. The same 4,000 year old technology?

  8. Our city bus stops are now covered in Kabbalah bottled water ads. I even got a Kabbalah flyer on my car a few weeks ago. As usual, I can blame all my misery on LA.

  9. I was praying, PRAYING that this was a joke and that you were having a little fun in PhotoShop and that our culture had not degenerated to the point where such a ridiculous product was possible. Alas, I found the damn atomizer on the Kabbalah website store where that tiny bottle of water is selling for ten freaking bucks! AAAAAARRRRGHH!! Then I read that all of Madonna’s contracts these days require cases of Kabbalah water in her dressing room. Okay, that’s it, it’s time for another Masada. Let’s all link arms and jump off a cliff…

  10. “Someone should start selling blank pieces of paper, you know, the one with all the answers on it.”

    someone’s already capitalized on this one. i was at a bookstore and found a book titled Everything Man Knows About Women. it was all blank pages.

  11. Is this Madonna’s fault?

  12. Ya – and I’m opening a kabbalah ski resort in the north of Israel next winter …

    You knew I was going to have to comment on this Neil! So here goes:

    1) there is no such thing as kabbalah water or kabbalistic technology (!!)

    2) a genuine kabbalist cannot make a cent from anything related to kabbalah

    3) kabbalah is about internal processes and has absolutely nothing to do with anything external

    But on the positive side – the word kabbalah is everywhere nowadays because of all this stupid stuff – and that’s a good thing

  13. Evian is PISSED about this one! Holy water trumps French alps ANYDAY!

  14. I heard it on the down low that Evian, Dannon, and Perrier are raising forces for another incursion into the Holy Lands. Personally, I’m 10% against this idea.

  15. At least they didn’t call it “naive” spelled backwards.

  16. Ha! Brooke ~ That’s PERFECT!

  17. Madonna knows nothing.

  18. What’s next? A Scientology vitamin? Since they don’t believe in psychiatric medication…”cure your bipolar disorder and ADHD with a Scientology vitamin!”

  19. SO many are so quick to shut their minds. The first time I drank Kabbalah water, before I knew or heard ANYTHING about it (I was just thirsty and wanted some water to drink!), I noticed a difference almost immediately. I need no further “proof”…it IS in the pudding! For me the differenceia stark. For those less attuned to their bodies, the difference may be more subtle. And what, should the Kabbalah center give it away for free?? (They do give much away as charity to impoverished, disaster striken areas of the globe by the way). There are naturally costs involved…for bottling and distribution. The skepticism I’ve read on here is not surprising to me, coming from those raised in such a secular society as the U.S. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but…

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