Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

“Nice”

When did "nice" become such a dirty word?

Question: 

What’s the worst thing a guy can say when a woman asks him how he likes her new flirty skirt? 

Answer: 

Nice.

Better Answers:

Wow.
You are a goddess.
Stunning.
Words cannot express the beauty.
Va Va Voom.

Question: 

What’s the worst thing a woman can say to a man during foreplay?

Answer: 

You’re a nice guy.

Better Answers:

You’re amazing.
I think I see heaven.
Kiss me again, you fool.
Ohmygod, you’re enormous.
Take me… NOW.

I’m probably what is considered a nice Jewish guy.  I hate that expression.  Who wants to be "nice"?  It sounds so sexless.  I’ve been trying for years to NOT be nice, but I just can’t seem to break out of it.

I was driving through Griffith Park with Sophia on Sunday when another car cut me off.  I cursed. 

"Don’t curse," said Sophia.

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn’t sound right coming from your mouth."

I should back up a bit and tell you that Sophia spent many years living in Israel, and still drives like an Israeli.  Which means she drives very aggressively.  Her normal sophisticated, feminine demeanor totally changes when she is behind the wheel.  If someone dares to cut her off, I hear every exotic curse from the four languages she can speak, and a few others she only knows how to curse in.

"You curse,"  I said to her.  "All the time."

"That’s different.  You’re nice."

"So?  You’re nice, too."

"Not as nice as you."

Well, like they say, no more Mister Nice Guy for me.  I’m done being that f_ _ _ ing nice person!   

Darn it, even WordPress won’t let me say the f-word.   

3 Comments

  1. I use “nice” a lot

  2. I actually revel in my niceness! (And my fun-ness, of course.) It certainly CAN get frustrating at times, but I don’t honestly believe the “nice guys finish last” saying. And if you disagree, f#*& off!

  3. Can’t cuss? Count yourself lucky. WordPress wouldn’t even let me register to comment on someone else’s blog last night–and I had no intentions of f-bombs.

    You make some fine points about nice. I’m polishing a post on the whole “nice guys finish last” concept for my own blog, which should be up sometime on Friday.

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