the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Juicing for Health


Yesterday, trying to be the healthy person I want to be, I bought one of those Naked Juices from the supermarket.  I was intrigued by a new juice they had named Mango Acai.

AÇAÍ, (pronounced ah-sigh-ee) looks like a blueberry but don’t let the familiar facade fool you. This power berry is harvested from the top of palm trees in the Brazilian Rainforest, and it’s one of the most nutritious fruits on earth. Açaí packs 50% more antioxidant (vitamins A & C) punch than pomegranate, contains Omega fatty acids, vitamin E, amino acids and- what’s this? – calcium? You bet. And the taste? Think chocolate covered berries, then whip in sweet juicy mangoes and you’ll be AHHH-sigh-eeing with every sip

That certainly sounded more healthy than buying another cup of coffee at the Coffee Bean.  The Mango Acai tasted pretty good, and with all those antioxidants, I left the store with a new vigor and vitality.  I went to pick up some shirts in the cleaners and flirted with the girl behind the counter.  I was feeling suddenly very lustful.  Images of torrid sex against the steamer with Natalie (it was written on her shirt) filled my mind.  Her lips, her breasts, the glimpse of her inner thighs as she reached up for my shirts in her shorts.  I gave her a wink and smile before I left. 

I got home and threw up.  I almost fainted.  I then spent the entire night in the bathroom from drinking this juice.  I’m still home, sick to my stomach.

Was it too healthy for me?  Damn the Brazilian rainforest!  I’m sticking to that cup of coffee.

NOTE:   I should thank Sophia for letting me call her at 4:30 in the morning, and then coming here to fix me some buckwheat to eat.   That made me feel a lot better.  We even watched "All My Children" together.


  1. Hilary

    I hope you feel better soon!

  2. Neil

    Just what I need when I’m sick in my stomach — an earthquake.

  3. nanette

    WOW! I hope you’re feeling better!

  4. Neil

    Thanks, people. Feeling better, but not perfect. Was taken to Cobras and Matadors (hip and loud and overpriced LA tapas restaurant) last night and felt woozy again, so hardly ate anything. Split the bill with the party, so I can officially say I ate the most expensive tiny plate of albondigas ever.

  5. josh

    I think that juice is delicious!

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