Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

American Woman

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I hate to give this idiot any readers, but Sophia and I found this too funny to not share.  It’s a website from an angry guy who hates modern American and Western-thinking women (damn feminists!). 

A huge percentage of American women are selfish, flighty, insecure, needy and psychotic, and quite capable of concealing those traits during the dating phase

White ‘career’ American chicks are the bottom of the barrel marriage-wise.

Foreign women from South America, Eastern Europe, and Asia are at the top. Only guys who travel (in other words, guys who are successful and ambitious enough to travel a lot) find these. But they never, ever go back.

Foreign-born women living in the US are the next best. They get married early…they are highly sought-after by American guys for their wifely skills (hell, any women who has ANY ability to be a wife is better than your average American chick, who knows NOTHING about being a wife)

Bottom of the barrel—white American chicks. Yecch.

In other words:

American woman, stay away from me
American woman, mama let me be
Don’t come hangin’ around my door
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin’ old with you
Now woman, stay away,
(American Woman by The Guess Who)

I think this guy was turned down by a neighborhood girl one time too many. 

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His main thesis is that American men should only marry foreign women.  You know, the old-fashioned ones who walk behind you, and know their place is in the kitchen and the bedroom (oh, we can dream, can’t we?).

Even though we’re separated, I’m still great friends with my wife, Sophia.  She was born in Russia.  One of my best friend’s wife is Japanese.  I know men who have married women from Mexico, Israel, Taiwan, Iran, the Phillippines, Peru, and France.  Take my word for it, Mr. Angry American Male, whoever you’re going to marry — no matter where she is from — that woman is going to throw your life upside down. 

You might think that Japanese wife is obediently walking behind the man, but believe me, if you cross her, you’re still going to be sleeping on that living room couch. 

And that hot Latina from Mexico — you forget her anniversary, and forget about sex until the next Cinco de Mayo.

No matter if it’s in Turkish or Tagalog, you will eventually be cursed at for peeing on the toilet seat (in the native tongue of course).

And women from Albania to Zambia know when their husbands are checking out another woman’s ass.

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So, don’t give up on American women just because they can be pains in our butts.   All women are.  American women are special.  They’re smart, pretty, and they’re as clueless as us American men are about what’s going on in the world.   Because only caring about America is as American as, well, apple pie!  (now if we could only find an American woman who still knows how to bake one).

(More anti-women stuff from this moron)

(thanks to The Alley Notebooks for the link)

(photos via Ted Morris)

23 Comments

  1. Plus foreign-born women will never understand why Americans watch such a boring game as baseball.

  2. Hey now, baseball is our national pastime.

  3. “World” Series – hah!

  4. great post!

    I knew someone from Vietnam who married an asshole American who assumed she’d be submissive. When she found out he was cheating on him, she went on a rampage and destroyed his expensive stereo equipment. Ha!

  5. World Series- We are the champs. 😉

  6. Baseball winners, Athens Olympics 2004.

    Gold: Cuba
    Silver: Australia
    Bronze: Japan

  7. But that’s because the US players are playing their regular season so they can’t play in the Olympics. Otherwise we’d have a kickass team!

  8. “For starting pitchers we have two Dominicans, one Italian, one Mexican, and one Japanese. In the bullpen we have a Venezuelan, a Mexican, a guy from the United States, and a guy from St. Louis.”

    – former Dodger Manager Tommy Lasorda

  9. It’s just so hard finding a submissive woman nowadays! I don’t want my stereo equipment ruined.

  10. Where did you find those hilarious pics? For that matter, where do you find MOST of your hilarious pics?!

  11. You mean the pictures of the very sexy women? I don’t understand. Don’t you have photos of your former and current girlfriends also?

  12. Yeah, I was just wondering how YOU got the pictures of MY former and current girlfriends!

  13. Joel, we better stop this fighting now, before we start insulting each other’s mother.

  14. I’d read that site before and laughed my butt off when I did, too. It makes me think of an old Eddie Murphy skit where he talks about how quickly foreign women assimilate to American ways of thinking, ending in the punchline, “Eddie, I want HALF!” Hope you’ve heard it.

  15. Interesting info. Can you get your money back if you mail-order bride turns out less submissive than you hoped?

  16. Filipinas are always in control. It doesn’t look that way on the surface, though.

    Yeah we don’t talk back to our husbands when there are other people around. But when you’re observing a Filipina wife when she’s around her husband, always look at her eyes. We are great at training our husbands. We can chastise our husbands just by looking at them.

  17. Believe me. I know better than to cross a Filipina. One look from her can turn any man into “taba ng talangka.”

  18. As if any American woman would settle for that troglodyte!

  19. You better damn well believe that I have Loki trained.

    Raise an eyebrow? He’s in trouble.

  20. I was just thinking the same thing looking at all these sites and feeling frustrated by all of it, I guess ill just take an american woman,
    or maybe one from south africa as thier different over there,
    maybe a visa from there isnt so bad????

  21. I dont see to many USwoman going out of thier way to be friendly to you,
    all ive seen is selfish self centered losers that dont give a tinkers darn about you just thier little soch group,
    and ther ladder up the money trail,sheesh forget that,
    mean loks on thier faces and stuck up attitude too, welll not this guy im not getting into the junk they play,

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