Tag: blogging (Page 11 of 11)

It’s Inevitable: Blogging About Blogging

July 11, 2005 / Neil Kramer / 26 Comments

Something happened to me on the way to the Blogosphere. I actually started caring about you idiots — and I find this a little weird. I started this enterprise for totally selfish reasons. I wasn’t writing anything at the moment and I wanted to amuse myself. Besides, not having a blog by 2005 was like not having a color TV set by 1978.

Hilary was the first commenter that I added to my blogroll, mostly because she explained to me what the blogroll was all about. Then I began to read her links and steal her links, and then read and steal the links of the links. Soon it became incestuous, like the hillbilly family in "Deliverance." One night, I’m following this link from Hilary to Gooch, and I see Leese has a comment there.

"What the hell is she doing there?" I wonder about my new pseudo-friend who I don’t really know. It was if she was my wife and I caught her having an affair. That is, until I remember that I found her link through him.

Kid Sis mentions feeling jealous when two of her links become buddies.

I never thought I’d be name dropping like this, actually mentioning other blogs. I feel a little bit like Ebenezer Scrooge who has had a transformation and now feels sorry for the pathetic Tiny Tim. Who the hell are you people and why am I caring about your measly lives?

Maybe Fun Joel, the screenwriting expert, can explain Aristotle’s idea of "catharsis" — where an audience member purges his emotion through the characters in a play. All of you have such interesting lives: I really want you to get a husband, get laid on Saturday night, overcome illness, get that job with Sony, stop fighting with your brother, divorce your wife already, stop eating junk food, and write that novel you’re too afraid to start. I remember feeling very upset when I read Jack‘s post about his wife’s purse being stolen.

But I constantly say to myself, "I don’t really know any of you."

In real life, I would fight with some of you about your crazy political ideas (some on the left and some on the right). Some of you seem like real jerks (but you write so well that I can’t stop reading you).

Some of you I have linked to, but you haven’t linked to me (who’s kvetching now, Esther?). What can I do to improve my blog so I can win your approval? Or are you just playing hard to get? You know, it’s working. I now care more about you than the ones who have already linked to me. Bastards.

Sometimes I try to visualize what you look like. I imagine Michael Blowhard as a professor type, sitting at his computer while smoking a pipe. I visualize my female readers sitting by their laptops, wearing nothing but the mouse in their hand. I don’t know why, but I’m always imagining female bloggers as blogging in the nude. Is this true or is it just a fantasy?

Again, I don’t really know any of you. If one of my blogging pals broke his foot in Atlanta, Georgia, would I fly out to help?

I started "Citizen of the Month" feeling disdain for you other bloggers. Why are you wasting all your time online? Now, I care about your stupid lives. I feel like one of the Tripods from "The War of the Worlds" sent to Earth to destroy you, but who decided to just hang out and listen to some "Grateful Dead" tunes with you instead.

It’s all your fault.

My Apologies, Steven Spielberg

June 15, 2005 / Neil Kramer / 1 Comment

I just read this post written by Jack at Jack’s Shack about how a growing number of employees are being fired from their jobs because of statements or opinions made about their workplaces. It made me realize that I really haven’t been very smart since starting this blog. Not only do I include my real name up on top, but now my mother is writing comments using her real name. In the past couple of months, I’ve made fun of, andor insulted companies, babies, Mormons, bagel shops, and the city of New York.

In my last post, I even mocked the upcoming Indiana Jones film, which may hurt the feelings of Mr. Steven Spielberg himself — which is a real no-no here in Los Angeles. That’s a shame because, one day, I’d like to work with the talented Mr. Spielberg, one of my idols. I hope this doesn’t hurt my chances.

Mr. Spielberg, the joke was in good humor. I know Indiana Jones 4 will be a big success. It wasn’t like I was making fun of "1941," probably your worst movie. (Damn it! Can’t I just shut up?!)

In his post, Jack gives this good advice to his fellow bloggers who may be worried about the effects of their blogs.

It is possible to blog from other places and to speak about the office, but you have to be careful with the details and specific information in your posts. Nothing profound there, just common sense.

Smart. Be careful with the details. Be vague.

I would now like to officially re-write my last post:

At a big gala for a sci-fi crazed movie producer with a beard, our sources had a "close encounter" with another famous director/bearded guy, who said that the script for "Archaeologist Professor with the Hat 4" is almost done. A "witness" to the conversation said that the film’s leading man may have already chosen the woman who will be his love interest. So, who is it? Details won’t be released for another "six days and seven nights," but we know right now. So, what’s "the skinny?" Well, after a few years of raising her adopted Chinese baby, Dan-Sing, she’s decided it’s time to return to Hollywood. But don’t worry, mothers, she’s still very much in love with that "Dan-Sing baby."

The Blog is Mightier Than the Sword

June 9, 2005 / Neil Kramer / 3 Comments

Two weeks ago, I wrote about a Korean-run bagel shop that I’m boycotting because of bad service. The only problem — really good bagels. Today, as I’m driving past the store on Wilshire, I have a thought:

"What if… just what if… the owner read my blog. Surely, he would know that I was writing about his store in my post. I’m sure he wants to apologize, maybe even give me three bagels for the price of two. Come to think of it, according to my stats, I did see someone reading my blog last night from Comcast – Los Angeles. Maybe he searched on Google for "Unhappy Customer Korean Bagel Shop" and found me. He was probably up all night feeling bad."

To make a long story short, I went inside the store and he made me wait while he finished making some sandwiches. No mention of my hard-hitting blog post. No free bagels or anything!

Yes, it is the year of the Blog. Chalk one up for blogging and narcissism.

Blogging and Pajamas

March 11, 2005 / Neil Kramer / 2 Comments

Michael Jackson in pajamas

All my life I’ve felt the peer pressure, the intense desire to dress like the “others.”Â Â When schoolmates laughed at me for wearing Keds, I bought Adidas.Â Â Â When I became a teenager, outÂ went the Wrangler’s, on came the Levi’s.Â Â My mother told me to put on a jacket and tie when had I had my first job interview with Manny, her accountant.Â Â Ten years later, I was told by a Hollywood agent to trash the brand-new jacket and tie I was wearing because I looked too much like an accountant.

Yesterday, I came across an article in Blogcritics.org titled, “What Kind of Pajamas Do You Blog In?”

Bloggers are always getting accused of sitting around the house in their pajamas spouting off opinions. I suppose this is because you can’t take the opinions of someone wearing pajamas too seriously. What these folks don’t realize is the glorious history of the pajama and the qualities which make it the ideal form of clothing for deep and penetrating thought.

Today, of course, I went toÂ Marshall’s and bought myself like pajamas.

I actually haven’t worn pajamas since moving to Los Angeles.Â Â They seemed so East Coast.Â Â But I guess I have to follow the crowd…