the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Dating Advice


Female friend on dating:

“Think about her. What can you offer her? If she is a single mother, her children will come first. Can you be a good father figure? A role model? Can she look up to you as a man? Can you be patient and understanding, and appreciate her for her true self, and forgive her for any of her bad moods? Can you look into her eyes, and without words, tell her that she has someone she can always count on? Do you cuddle?”

Male friend on dating:

“Take your age, divide it in half, and add two. That’s who you should date. Not anyone your own age. Look at Mick Jagger. No one with children. Women with children have lost their sense of humor and if one of her kids gets a bad report card, she won’t be in the mood for sex. No one crazy. No one with a brother or father in the police force. Black women, Jewish women, Latina women all OK. No Italian women. From personal experience. Never use the word ‘cuddle.'”


  1. Veronica

    I think I have a lot to offer, but apparently what I have to offer and what people want are, um, not the same thing, LOL.

    My husband is 5 years older than me, and as small as that age gap is, I think it’s been detrimental. Not joking.

  2. Ms. Moon

    THIS is hysterical.
    And rather sad.

  3. kapgar

    I cannot fathom dating a 22 year old.

  4. Kizz

    I should be dating a 25-year-old? This seems…dangerous.

  5. Leila

    L O L

    and even though i’m a woman, i’d feel indecent dating a 19-year-old. I can’t imagine using that as a rule-of-thumb as a man. That advice is not very on point. But otherwise L O L

  6. Naptimewriting

    Once I stopped laughing I realized you need even more female friends. And a different male friend. That guy is crazy.

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