Today is my birthday. It is also the sixth anniversary of Citizen of the Month, which I began writing on March 7, 2005.
Even thought I have republished this before, I will do it again. My first post from 2005–
What’s on my mind this evening — the night of my first post?  It’s the future.  My future.
I see it so clearly.
I’m a very spry 100 year old man, thanks to medical advances and the ability of the medical establishment to take chances with modern patient care. Who knew that the diet supplement Trimspa would end up eradicating most illnesses from the world?
I’m in my home of the future. My grandson, Bar Code #466408736664, sits at my side, browsing the internet in eye-scan mode (using the latest upgraded Intel mini-chip in his brain — the PC having disappeared decades earlier).. Suddenly, he tells me that he’s at the Coca-Cola digi-Archives site (formerly the Library of Congress) and viewing this very first post that you are currently reading.
At that moment, I will be an old man remembering the early days of the Internet. The 56K modem. Netscape. Those AOL disks falling out of every magazine. That first illegal MP3. That first post on the blog.
“Grandpa,” #466 says with a twinkle in his eye. “Man, grandpa, this post really sucks.”
And just then, I realize that it isn’t a twinkle in his eye, but a reaction to one of those synthetic drugs he’s been taking at school.  I laugh, remembering how I was drunk while writing that first post.
“He’d grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.”
What a weird hobby — this blogging thing.  In some ways, my writing hasn’t changed much over the years; it is still a combination of honesty and bullshit.
The truth: I was not drunk writing my first post. I should delete that now. Why did I write that for? I must have thought it was funny at the time.
That is one way my writing has changed; I’m not as funny as I used to be in 2005.  Three family deaths and the ups and downs of marital life can do that to you. Maybe I was never that funny. But luckily, I have had good friends, both online and offline keeping me in good spirits, a loving mother, and the continued friendship of Sophia, so I’m pretty optimistic about the future. And all this angst, rather than getting me down, has only made me more sexy in the eyes of women, because they seem to love the dark, brooding type of guy! So, there is that.
What will happen on this blog during this sixth year of production? Rather than tell you in words, I made a little video trailer of an upcoming blog post that I will be writing in July. So, please stick around for another year of laughter, pathos, and drama! Enjoy.
Congratulations on six years of fine work, Neil. It’s been worth it for your readers.
And you’re way funnier than you were six years ago. The drunk joke is an example. It is no longer worthy of you!
Happy birthday, Neil! Yeah, your blog has evolved, but shouldn’t that be our goal in this shitty life—to stay one step ahead of the dogs nipping at our heels? I think Khalil Gibran said that. If not, you can have it for yourself. Be of good cheer, my long ago blogging mate. Always, fringes.
Happy Birthday, Neil! Six years — that’s pretty amazing.
I’ve been reading you for most of those six years. We have covered a lot of ground together and our friendship is one of the best things that has come out of blogging for me.
Wish I could bake you a cake and sing happy birthday with jazz hands and cha-cha-cha’s. Instead I’ll do what bloggers do, leave a comment. : )
Happy birthday Neil and happy blogging anniversary! It’s been a pleasure getting to know you and meeting you in real life. Cheers!
Happy Birthday and congrats on 6 years!
We become more when we feel…not just feel, but have an emotional tie to something. You’ve evolved because you are bound by friendship, compassion, and love to the “community.” Or something.
Anyway, Happy Blogiversary. But moreover, Happy, Happy Birthday.
Hey, Neil!! Wishing you a lovely, beautiful, magnificent, tremendous, terrific birthday!!! Hope it’s a good one.
Happy birthday, to you and your blog! The online world is a richer place with you in it, and I’m happy to have come across you here. (Nice to have gotten to meet you in person, too, even if briefly!)
When the music abruptly stopped I thought I heard a needle scratching vinyl.
IF – and that’s a big IF – your blog has gotten less funny over the years, regular readers know why. Sophia is a very funny character. She says funny things – not always intentionally, but usually – and just transcribing conversations to this blog leads to big laughs.
Maybe we first came here for the humor, but we stay for the ongoing story of the joys and sorrows of the Citizen of the Month. And, following that saga, at some point it became clear that separating from Sophia was a necessary improvement to your life.
So IF – and that’s a big IF – you’ve traded some laughs for greater emotional health, I applaud an advantageous trade. And wish you a happy birthday.
Wow, you are full year and 1 month ahead of me as a blogger!
Happy Blogiversary. Here’s to 60 more years. And me getting one of those brain chips.
Happy, happy birthday and blogiversary. I’m glad we’re friends. 🙂
May this next year the best one yet. Suck the marrow out of it, Neil. Do it!
Happy Birthday, and here’s to six more years…
Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday, Neil. Have a great year!
Happy 6. I started blogging in late 2004. I have had too many blog addresses to count and countless of different blog names. But my writings have stayed the same. Blunt and honest and raw. Just like me in person. Rock on Neil!
You are one of the old dogs now, but that is a good thing. Keep going, I want to see what happens at 10.
happy birthday and blogiversary!!
Happy Birthday, Neilochka!
Happy birthday and congratulations on the 6 years! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog the last few months and look forward to reading it in the future.
I can’t believe I missed it.
Happy Belated Birthday, Neil!
I’ve only been reading your blog for a few years. But you’ve been a big influence on me. And you’ve been a kind, generous, helpful mentor. I’ve learned a lot from you. And in July, your blog’s gonna be in Spanish? It keeps getting better. Congratulations on your blogoversary.
Oh my gosh, Neil, you are hilarious. Happy birthday!