the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Master of My Internet Domain

This is truly pathetic. I had a dream last night about… being on Twitter. Not about climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. Not about walking with dinosaurs. Not about an orgy in a Parisian hotel room. No, typing dumb updates for strangers, limited by 140 characters.

You realize the only reason I am writing this is because I know this will update on Twitter and Facebook, so this is my way of cheating and communicating to others, to make sure I am not forgotten, like a child star from an old sitcom. This post has no literary value.

I deleted Twitter and Facebook from my iPhone, and it helped. I wrote with paper and pen to avoid the Internet. I talked on the phone. I emailed.

Ok. I cheated. I just went on Twitter and Facebook… to look if anyone mentioned me. Now I have to start the whole week all over again. Sad.

Remember that Seinfeld episode where they tested who was “master of their domain?” This is just as difficult.

Why are you so important to me? Or am I trying to run away from here?


  1. better safe than sorry

    i think you’re running away.

  2. Philly Jewish Amy

    I’m convinced we all set up these types of personal (silly) challenges as distractions… that’s not a bad thing.

    I had a weird dream last night. I was hanging out somewhere with a lot of large dogs and they were licking my hand that was bit.

  3. Trish

    There’s a reason you’re going on Twitter and Facebook. I don’t know what that reason is; only you do. But if you figure out what it is, and you can find a way to fill that need offline, you’ll probably be able to stay off Twitter/FB more. For instance, if you go on Twitter because you’re bored, then finding things to occupy your time will keep you off Twitter.

    Part of it might just be that you’ve made friends on Twitter that you miss when you’re not there. If this is the case, then perhaps it would help to set specific Twitter times that allow you to catch up with your friends. That way, you know you have scheduled time with your friends, and you can stay offline the rest of the time.

  4. Trish

    Oh – and don’t worry about your dreams, they don’t mean anything. We all dream about things that make no sense. Dreaming about only grand, exotic things isn’t how dreams work.

  5. Shelli

    What Trish said makes a lot of sense. Maybe it’s just harder for you to cultivate offline friendships. Maybe you just need to work harder on that. Or, maybe you don’t and just stick with your friends online. I mean, it’s not like you don’t see them offline, too. For instance, you’re going to BlogHer, right? And I know you’ve met other bloggers at other events or just personal meet-ups. So, I guess what I’m saying is, it’s not all bad. You made a lot of new friends, right?

  6. Twenty Four At Heart

    I don’t understand why you fight it? Why not just be who you are and do what you want when you want? Isn’t that the benefit of being an adult? It isn’t as if being on Twitter is going to hurt anyone ……

    Have you gotten a hotel room yet for NYC?

    Because I’m counting on dinner and drinks sometime while we’re back there!
    : )

  7. All Adither

    Just go with it. Twitter’s not such a bad vice.

  8. peach

    i just spent two weeks on the road, most without phone/internet service. for the first day or two it felt awkward but then i started forgetting about it. as soon as i logged on, it was a disappointment. in fact, i kind of miss being out of touch now. what i’m saying is maybe you should just go hole up in the smokey mountains? might make this easier.

  9. Kerry

    I agree with Twenty-Four at Heart and All Adither. If spending time on Twitter is keeping you from something else you should be doing, then you need to focus on doing that other thing, not on staying away from Twitter. Running toward something is generally easier and more fun than running away from something.

    And if it’s not keeping you from anything, then go ahead and do it. It’s fine. In fact, beating yourself up all the time is worse for you than spending time on Twitter.

  10. unmitigated me (m.a.w.)

    I also remember that it was Elaine who first walked in and put down the cash! C’mon, Neil. That new photo of you looks like someone who has a real life.

  11. Heather

    What you’re trying to do is devalue the relationships you have forged via the Internet. Somewhere in your little fragile psyche, you think that you can’t really know someone via Social Media.

    Au Contraire, friend.

  12. Juli Ryan

    I want to be plugged in all the time. But I really heart e-mail. I’m old school like that.

  13. Philly Jewish Amy

    This made me laugh… I would have tweeted it to you, but…

  14. jen

    why do keep trying to quit? dream smeams 🙂

  15. sarah

    I agree with those who are wondering why you bother to fight it. You seem to clearly care about many of the people you have connected with on Twitter & it’s obvious through the comments here that many people care about you and miss you when you aren’t present. Why is this so hard for you to embrace?

  16. Casey

    I think your therapist would tell you that if an obsession doesn’t interfere with your life, then it’s probably OK. The haha of it all is over time personal obsessions become pastimes. You know, fictional books, radio, television, video games, frisbee golf, whatever. When enough people do it, it’s no longer a no no. Well, except for alcohol.

    I’m confusing myself.


  17. Lauren

    orgies in a Parisian hotel room — have you been reading my e-mail again Neil? Good luck for this week. I think I’d struggle to give it up too. But I imagine I would get a lot more done. Or, watch more t.v. Sigh.

  18. Sandi

    I recently had a dream that I was in Vegas playing poker with people I follow on twitter. You and a couple of other guys and I were all sitting around a smoky table and I was winning! It was weird because I have no idea what most of you sound like. But I digress. It weirded me out that I had a dream about people from twitter but I shrugged it off because it was a dream. Dreams mean many wacky and wonderful things or they mean absolutely nothing! Don’t fret!

    Why the need to prove to yourself that you can stay off? Do you really think you’re addicted? Is Twitter/Facebook preventing you from getting out and interacting with people? (asks the girl that never goes out and interacts with people)

    I agree with the other commenters, you’re a grown up and how you choose to spend your time is your decision. Do what makes you happy!

  19. apathy lounge

    I just couldn’t get myself to Tweet using my iPhone. I lived in terror of the freaking alarm going off every five seconds while someone’s newest thought was expressed on my screen. Limiting it to my computer just made me appear more like a Luddite. I cancelled the whole thing. Blogging’s enough. For now.

  20. Pat Vermont

    Twitter is a magical place where wicked awesome shit happens. Please don’t ever leave again. We’re all in this together.

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