the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

The Ideal Gift

I love the holiday season. So much joy and gift-giving. I spent all weekend scouring the internet looking for BlackFriday and CyberMonday deals that I could share with my dear readers.

I love you guys!

I do have something special for you, my valued friends and readers of this blog. This year, why not give the gift that everyone WANTS this Christmas and Hannukah?! Today only, from 9AM to 11PM — run, don’t walk, to the run-down liquor store on any street corner of any high-crime neighborhood to buy this ideal Christmas gift.

A case of Camel cigarettes, in a special Holiday red-and-gold gift box! And remember, just say “Neilochka sent me for the smokes!” for a free Camel keychain!

Plus, as a thank you for participating in the ongoing Great Interview Experiment and the upcoming 4th Annual Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert, I will be giving away one free carton to a very lucky person!

The rules for this giveaway are extremely simple. Just leave a comment telling me your favorite Holiday smoking story, follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and Flickr, post three photos of your Christmas tree or menorah on your blog, with links back to me, and lastly, email me a ten page essay on “Why Smoking Isn’t As Bad As They Say,” to my email address at neil@smokingisgood-dotcom.

What are the holidays all about? Egg Nog. Christmas Bells. Santa. And a cool-looking Camel cigarette (as seen recently on the sexy hit TV show Mad Men).

Take a break this holiday season, and enjoy. Make it Camel time.

Courtesy of Citizen of the Month.

(This is a sponsored post, but the small payment I received has no bearing on my honest review of this wonderful product. The fact that I don’t smoke has nothing to do with any “alleged” health fears that were created by crackpot “doctors,” and only with my inability to light a match or use a lighter effectively. It sometimes takes me ten minutes just to get a lighter to work. It is my thumb. I just cannot make the flint click. As for regular matches, I am always crushing the match and throwing it out before I get it to light. If I didn’t have these issues with lighters and matches, I would be enjoying a pleasurable Camel cigarette just like you.)

On a serious note, here is a great video of Schmutzie, saying why she quit smoking this year. Keep it up, Schmutzie!


  1. Finn

    If your Christmas list is getting too long because you have too many friends, give ’em some ciggies. Eventually you won’t have to buy them anything anymore! *snorts*

  2. Half Assed Kitchen

    Can I write an essay on drinking instead?

  3. Anne Arkham

    This reminds me of one of my college professors. There were a bunch of us in differential equations with an absolutely horrible professor. We had no clue what was going on, so we went to Professor H to ask for help. He helped us all sememster, and at the end of it, we thought we should get him something. The only thing we knew he liked was cigarettes, but we were afraid that buying him a carton of cigarettes would send the wrong message. I think we just settled for a nice letter.

  4. Juli Ryan

    I also was cursed with an inability to use matches and lighters. I overcame it in collge chemistry, when no one would light my bunson burner for me. You can learn this important life skill, Neil. Practice.

  5. Otir

    Now, that’s an interesting ad campaign! I wish anyone smiling or dropping jaws today would watch a current ad campaign and think twice about how we’ll understand it in twenty, thirty or forty years from today!

  6. JanePoet

    As the ever-omniscient Loni Anderson said, “Impotence is one of the major hazards of cigarette smoking.” Put that in your pipe and smoke it Camel!

  7. teahouseblossom

    Tee hee hee.

  8. mepsipax

    I too can no handle lighters. Little wheel big thumb. I prefer keep burning coal. Logistically speaking not as hard as it sounds.

  9. Danny

    Brightly colored cartons of cigarettes were one of the most popular Christmas gifts of my childhood. Just ask all of my relatives who died of lung cancer! I think Don Draper approved this ad.

  10. schmutzie

    And I am still quit! It’s been hard, and it still is, but it’s worth it.

  11. Mamie

    Oh, Neil, I think the weekend of hunting up good deals really got to you. It must have been the lack of specials on underwear and socks that made you turn to Camel.

    So, spill, just how many Camel bucks did you sell your soul for?

  12. kathcom

    Try as I might to finally become an ex-smoker, I crave cigarettes any time they are mentioned. Irony will not stop it.

    I never bought cartons. I always kidded myself that maybe I would successfully quit before finishing the carton. But what an excellent idea for a gift. It comes in its own brightly colored box. So festive!

    Maybe I could send some to Bernie Madoff. Since his arrest, he’s going to have to give up trading in fake currency. Cigarettes are real currency in prison. He might as well start learning now.

  13. leah

    awww, you said you love us. BRAVO! you are gonna kick twenty ten’s ass.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial