Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Guest Poster Slams Mommyblogger

Did you know that there are so-called “hate blogs” out there, that attack other bloggers, not only for their writing, but for the content and choices of their lives?  While some view this type of blog as horrendous and just plain nasty, I see these truth-seekers as important counterpoints in a blogging world so heavily tilted towards those with “power.”  Why shouldn’t another voice be heard?

GossipMaven is one of the more popular of these “hate-bloggers,” and a good friend of mine.  I respect her completely because she speaks her mind, consequences be damned.  I am honored to have her be a guest poster on my blog today.  Take it away, GossipMaven!

Thanks, Neil.  I am so grateful for this opportunity to take my views to a wider audience.

This is a post that MUST be read.  It is about that ubiquitous blogger that we call the “mommyblogger.” Let us be honest.  We all hate these people, but few of us are brave enough to speak publicly.  That is why Neil was kind enough to let me publish here, anonymously.

Enough is enough.  We must stop the insanity before this virus continues any longer.  The truth must come out, and I must NAME NAMES.  Mommybloggers are nothing more than uncreative hacks that use their own families for profit, mocking their so called “loved ones,” as IF they could ever truly love anyone other than themselves.

In my opinion, the most egregious of these mommybloggers is “Neilochka” of the blog “Citizen of the Month.”

At one time, years ago, his blog was mildly amusing.  Now, every other post is the same — and always about his MOTHER.  Monday, Mommy Blog, Tuesday, Mommy Blog, etc.  When did this once virile, confident man become such a momma’s boy — a MOMMYBLOGGER, always blogging about his mother, and exploiting this poor, hard-working woman for a few cheap laughs.  Whenever he runs out of material, he pulls his mother out of his hat, like a magician/therapy patient stuck in his latency period.

The story is always the same.  “Little” Neil is in some sort of trouble.  His “Mommy” shows to save the day.  Was it any surprise that his mother found the extra shower curtain?

Grow up, man!

This immaturity has turned this gray-chest-haired Peter Pan “boy” into a complete pervert.  He never comments on any blogs unless the blogger happens to be displaying a photo of her cleavage.

Sorry to tell you this, Neilochka, but you are too old to still be sucking on your Mommy’s tits!

And if he isn’t writing about his Mommy, he is writing about his dick.

What are you, Neilochka, — 12 years old?!

Writing about your “c*ck” all the time will not win you a date at BlogHer.  You just comes off as a desperate loser!  Women want a man who is CONFIDENT, not an insecure twirp still holding on his mother’s apron strings, singing the praises of the “juicy” brisket that she will make for Passover.

Your readers are fed up with you emailing them photos of what you promote on Twitter as “the greatest cock in the blogosphere.” As V-grrrl recently wrote in one of her posts, “I have received several of these photos, and if this is “the greatest cock in the blogosphere,” I have some investment ideas for you with this genius named Bernie Madoff.”

But I don’t really care about you, you slimeball.  You have dug your own hole and you deserve to sit in it, with nothing but your iPhone playing old episodes of “All My Children” all day.

I DO worry about your dear innocent mother, who once dreamed of you standing on the Senate floor, introducing a bill to ban poverty in America, but instead, has been reduced to the equivalent of a Rodney Dangerfield punchline.   One day, she will read these blog posts, or her friends with discover them online(you even use her REAL NAME, you imbicile!) and she will be mocked and ostracized by the others at her mah jongg game.

Mildred:  “Nice to meet you, Elaine.  My son is a doctor.  What does your son do?”

Elaine Kramer:  “My son writes about me.  He is a uh… Mommy Blogger.”

Thanks, GossipMaven.  You are always welcome back here at this blog to “tell it like it is!”

23 Comments

  1. You do seem awfully preoccupied with mommy bloggers.

    I always chalked it up to mammary envy but now I see it may indeed be a bit Oedipal.

    Interesting…

  2. You mean the comment you left me Friday was only there because I flashed my cleavage on tit-pic? (Or twitpic … whatever.) Well, I suppose I can understand that because if I do say so myself I’ve got some awesome cleavage …

  3. Finding an apartment is easier than you might think. 🙂

  4. Neil,

    Your friends have been trying to tell you this, subtly, for some time now.

    Perhaps this is your subtle way to say that you’ve heard them.

    HB8

    P.S. BTW to Lucy. It ain’t that easy to find an apartment in New York. It’s the only city on the planet where living with your mother is a shrewd move. It makes a man the envy of all his friends.

  5. That was seven different kinds of perfect.

  6. “Whenever he runs out of material, he pulls his mother out of his hat, like a magician”

    As opposed to when he used to pull something else out of another article of clothing, like an I-don’t-know’-what

  7. Fucking awesome. [This mommyblogger gets to say “fucking” on any other mommyblogger’s blog. Thems the rules.]

  8. HAHAHA!! You clever monkey. But now that you mention it, it is kind of ironic that you’re my favorite mommyblogger. 🙂

  9. i got attacked by a hateblogger on my previous blog, which made me close it, change my name and stop reading several blogs that i use to follow on a regular basis, just to make sure he wouldn’t find me again. the blog world can be a scary place.

  10. This was funny. Your mother stories are incredible and I’m sure or hope you know that. You also make Queens come so alive for me I feel that I’m there

    But…when blogs are set up to attack you–when you’re a newish blogger and innocently comment on a blog that has different opinions than you and they change the post to make your comment seem stupid, when your comments are “hijacked” by people with one purpose–to deride your morals then try having a post like this

    I used to believe in my writing. Between the above and the millions of blogs set up as fun social places–which is great if that’s what you want I find myself retreating from the blogosphere

    i find myself having problems writing because I did get used to an adoring audience at the same time. I think I was better before when I should be better now.

    Blogging confuses me more than anything right now. Sometimes I resent all bloggers who came later and express”liberal” views without fear of being attacked. Sometimes I feel I have no right saying anything as I’m no longer “popular.” Blogging is the strangest thing and I’m not sure it’s healthy–at least not for me

  11. A+, but I thought you were just a bit hard on yourself.

  12. Love it darling.

  13. Mommy Blogger…Bwa ha ha ha ha.

    And this isn’t entirely true. I’ve posted several photos of my cleavage, and Neil never comments.

  14. This is a hoot! You are my favorite mommyblogger 😉
    carma

  15. I thought I was the ultimate mommy blogger.

    (And notice how I’m leaving a comment with not pictures of cleavage evident anywhere)

  16. An uber mommyblogger is what you are…

  17. GossipMaven reads my blog! I am afraid, very afraid.

  18. Nicely stated GossipMaven!

    I had a video with my boobs on my blog and he still didn’t comment! WTH?

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