The Holiday season brings up some uncomfortable issues. Several women, both Jewish and non-Jewish women have spoken to me, unsure what type of card to send to me. Do I only celebrate Hanukkah? Will I be offended if I receive a Christmas card? Is a simple “Seasons Greeting” too lame of a Holiday message?
I cannot answer these questions for every Jewish male. Each of you will have to make your own choices. And rather than offering any guidelines, I have come up with a few copywriting ideas for the type of seasonal cards that I find both enjoyable and appropriate.
Hanukkah Cards —
I want to light your menorah, Neilochka, eight days a week.
Let’s meet at my place. You’ll eat my latkes, and I’ll spin your dreidel.
Who needs a Christmas Tree when you have my Hanukkah bush? See you on Saturday night!
Christmas Cards —
Card-giving is much more complicated for my female friends who celebrate Christmas. You want to share your holiday with me, but knowing that I am Jewish, don’t want to make me feel uncomfortable. Here are a few non-religious Christmas cards ideas that would definitely put me in the holiday mood:
It’s Christmas. A Day for Loving A Jewish Man. Again and Again.
I Know You Don’t Celebrate Christmas, my dear Jewish friend, but I Would Like to Get Laid By You on New Year’s Eve
Forget Santa. I’d Rather Have You Coming Up My Chimney.
Email me for my address. Happy Holidays!