Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Dancing with the Stars Recap

Did you all see Dancing with the Stars on Monday night? What did you think? The show just gets better and better.  (note:  read with sarcasm)

Here’s my weekly recap:

Tonight on Dancing with the Stars, Marlee Matlin’s Samba was only so-so. The music was too fast, and Matlin, who is deaf and counts the steps in her head, was falling behind.

Last year, the gimmick contestant was Heather Mills, who has an artificial leg. This year, it is a deaf actress.

“Who will it be next year?” I asked Sophia during the commercial. “How can they outdo themselves after a contestant with an artificial leg and then someone deaf?”

“Maybe someone who is blind.” she answered.

“I think it is probably harder to dance being deaf than blind.” I said.

“You’re probably right. Being blind doesn’t really “up the stakes” for the show next year.”

“Maybe someone deaf AND blind.”

“Someone in a wheelchair.”

“That would be cool.”

“Someone not very bright.”

“They’ve had plenty of those before.”

“Someone with even more plastic surgery than Priscilla Presley.”

A promo came on for this ABC comedy, “Samantha Who” about a woman with amnesia.

“Someone with amnesia!”

“That’s good. Someone with recurring amnesia who forgets the dance routine minutes before the performance…!”

“…and also has a wooden leg!”

“But really… is it that much better than someone who is deaf?”

“Maybe not. A midget?”

“Eh… it’s been done.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere.”

“I got it. A transvestite!”

“That’s stupid. A transvestite can still dance.”

“What if the transvestite is also deaf… and not very attractive.”

“Ok, I buy that. Let’s see if ABC does.”

Tomorrow: The “elimination” show.

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: Married Couples

11 Comments

  1. Maybe a transvestite with two left feet?

  2. I have never watched the show. But, I loved this post. And I might watch it, if they had a deaf transvestite on it.

  3. A Christian fundamentalist who believes dancing is sinful, and has trouble making flamboyant moves in her constricting denim skirt. That would be hilarious.

  4. Bad boys watch Dancing with the Stars? Who knew?

  5. hahhaha…Samantha Who? hahaha, very funny. I’ve never seen the show, but if any of your excessive predictions come true, please let me know so that I can tune in.

  6. I don’t know what it would take to make me watch this show. Maybe naked dancing… if the right people are naked.

  7. I don’t watch the show either, but everyone else in my office does. They are all obsessed with Priscilla’s scary plastic surgery. Is it possible to have more plastic surgery than she does?…Oh, yeah. It’s called Michael Jackson.

  8. I’ve never watched it but my daughter watched a little last night; she says. “If there was ever anything that could make an athelete look gay its THIS SHOW”

    And now the fine print:
    And then I had a talk with her about gays, lesbians and making sure those kinda of comments stay at home.

  9. You must have missed Dance Master Len’s comment. “Three words for you, Neil–Fab U Lous.” Me thinks you may protest too much about not loving this show.

  10. Wow, I am just impressed you watched long enough enough to figure out a deaf person was dancing. You are a better man than I. Yep, a better man. Oh crap, that doesn’t make sense since I am not a man. But you are better. I think. I mean you did watch the show. Why are you better because you watched the dumb show? I mean the deaf show. Ya, nevermind. Disregard everything stated above.

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