the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Funny Foreign Names

Ha Ha, what’s funnier than a foreign name that sounds somewhat salacious?!    Sophia had a job in Orange County, so we stayed over at the Doubletree.  We received two phone calls for “His-Wong,” making us think that some Bart Simpson-type kid in Newport Beach was playing phone pranks on the unsuspecting tourists coming to see Disneyland. 

It didn’t occur to us, until today, that this was the name of the previous guest.

Hilarity ensued!


Please note:  I don’t usually go for this cheap ethnic humor, but I once was in Hong Kong and I was sitting at a shared table eating some noodles, and some young Chinese guys were laughing at the way I was holding my chopsticks.  So, consider this payback!


  1. melanie

    his wong…. giggles… payback is right.

  2. sassy

    I went to high school with a girl named Phoq Mi. (phoenetic – Fuck Me) The best part was explaining to substitute teachers, that no, we were not messing with them.

  3. Finn

    Thank you for the laugh (and Sassy, too!). I needed it today.

  4. nabbalicious

    While waiting to return something at Ikea last week, I noticed a plaque with the name of one of the employees: “Dat Ho.”

  5. scarlet hip

    All this from a guy named “Neil.” Think about it.

    I used to go to school with a girl named Lynn Hymen. I didn’t understand at the time why my mom would burst out laughing whenever I said her name. I also know a man named Seymour Gash. Yes, I do. I’m not making that up.

  6. mrsatroxi

    Surrender Grover.

    Yes, I actually knew him. Yes, that was actually his name.

    (Can’t you totally see the Wicked Witch of the West painting “Surrender Grover” in the sky?)

  7. Neil

    I also live down the block from the restaurant named Phuket Thai. (but you have to pronounce it incorrectly)

  8. Tuck

    And Big Wong in Chinatown. Oxymoron?

  9. NSC

    Coulda be funnier – coulda been “His Wang”

  10. Neil

    NSC — Unfortunately, real life isn’t always as funny! His Wong is as good as it gets.

  11. Elisabeth

    Back in France, some years ago, my mother worked as a secretary in a school, where one of the students’ last name was “Grossein” (= big breasts. This was an all-girls school.) One day, the girl’s mother called and asked to talk to her daughter, and some guy who was a gofer at the school burst into the girl’s classroom and asked “Is there any Grossein here?” – which basically amounted to asking if there were any big boobs in that classroom. Needless to say that everyone burst out laughing.

  12. Non-Highlighted Heather

    Once again you were in OC. ::sigh::

  13. Moviequill

    I just went out to a Chinese reataurant and had to tell the waiter “hey, I’m old school” and he brought me silverware

  14. mckay

    non-high heather, we OC girls must be too (insert your own dis here) for the LA crowd. darn.

  15. sassy

    Okay okay, so we ALL went to high school with people whose parents either couldn’t speak English very well at the time they named their kids or wanted to make them suffer…
    I live in France, and if your name is Nick, don’t come vacationing over here unless you’re comfortable with your name meaning f— in French.

  16. dan-E

    phuket thai is still there neil? wow. i ate there once, and maybe it was an off day but i had the runs for a couple of days afterwards.

  17. orieyenta

    Yeah – us Chinese love making fun of you white guys holding your chopsticks. 😉

  18. wordgirl

    This is why I always use a fork in Chinese restaurants…just in case there’s a Chinese person lurking about with a critical eye for my utensil-wielding skills.

  19. wendy

    I just ordered new checks from a call center, India somewhere, and the very nice indian gentleman, told me my last name was a dirty slang word..when pronounced he asked permission to just call me Miss Wendy instead! He said he would think of Peter Pan..instead of naughty thoughts. So it goes both ways.

  20. churlita

    As far as I’m concerned, if my name is another word for penis in another language, people are totally free to make fun of it. That having been said, we have a lot of Wangs who want to come to school here. Woooo-Hoooo!

  21. Jack

    Yeah – us Chinese love making fun of you white guys holding your chopsticks.

    Some of us are actually pretty good with them. Years of practice do wonders.

  22. nabbalicious

    There’s a Phuket Thai near us, too, and we won’t be back because they charge extra for steamed white rice. WTF?

  23. WiFi

    I like this name “Phuc Dat Bich”.

  24. WiFi

    Someone has just farted in the elevator before a Vietnamese girl walks in the elevator along with a white guy. She said “Ai Dich” (meaning who farted in Vietnamese). The only thing the white guy heard was “I did” when he sucked up that stench.

  25. Thailand

    Funny stuff 🙂

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