Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Recipe for a Food Blogger

herbes.jpg

Is it my imagination or are the”food bloggers” very sexy?  Maybe it has something to do with the sensuality of food.   Food and wine are definitely connected to sex.  What man hasn’t dreamed of taking Nigella Lawson  or Rachel Ray on the oven while she’s just wearing an apron and high heels?  Or maybe it is the fact that these cooks use all sorts of exotic ingredients in their dishes   My mother’s “secret ingredient” in her one good dish, brisket — was ketchup.

Two weeks ago, I asked for some simple recipes for a man to cook, and I received so many wonderful items in my email.  Thank you.   Some of the recipes were too complicated for my skill level at the moment, but I appreciate the thought.  A few of the dishes sounded so delicious, that I decided to pass the information on to others more worthy of making the delicacy, especially one particularly beautiful blogger.  I’ll be honest, I hoped to win some brownie points with this glamorous woman, praying that she’d flirt with me, or at least make me some biscuits.

However, dear readers, make note of this important information, in case you ever decide to use Microsoft Word.   While this popular software application has many fine points, the spell checker does NOT catch all  errors, including when you want to say “add fines “herbes,”” but mistakenly re-type it as “add fines “herpes.””

Oh yeah, she WANTS me now!

23 Comments

  1. Hmm. I don’t recall you sending me any recipes.

    Oh, you didn’t mean me?

  2. You’re not a food blogger. You’re a straight ahead sex blogger.

  3. I guess you didn’t mean me, either. Oh well.

    But I would’ve laughed at “fines herpes.”

  4. ..waiting for the Citizen of the Month Cookbook to be listed on Amazon.

  5. What man hasn’t dreamed of taking Nigella Lawson or Rachel Ray on the oven.

    A little stovetop action can be a lot of fun…as long as you remember to turn off the burners first.

  6. I guess as long as the herpes was fine…

  7. Surprisingly, I don’t remember seeing any recipes either…huh.

    And remember, Neilochka…your mom’s special ingredient was LOVE. 😉

  8. I specialize in recipes using ketchup. I don’t think I’ll ever earn the title food blogger though which is a shame because I like food.

  9. Herpes. Hee. Good ol’ Word. You can always count on it to give you preposterous “corrections” and “suggestions” and introduce more errors. It can’t do anything right, which is often quite entertaining. Years ago I had an instructor named M. Horton-Barrios, and when I typed her name it tried to “correct” it to: [drumroll] Marlin Hotrod.

  10. Replace Rachel Ray with Giada and I am allll over that image.

  11. yes, food makes for sexy writing. yummmmma

  12. Fahggetabout the herbes fines….all I saw when I first looked at that was “BACON” instead of what it really says.

    Mmmm, bacon.

  13. my secret ingredient is ketchup, but i tell my kids it’s love:)

  14. Keep those “herpes” away from me!

  15. My nice jewish grandma once loudly stated in a crowded Chinese restaurant that my cousin Judy had broken up with her boyfriend. She then asked, equally loudly, “What’s “herbies?” A different kind of love bug, to be sure.

    And Neilochka, I make a mean brisket if I do say so myself.

  16. Oh dear. Now Hilly’s got me thinking about bacon once more. What were you saying, Neil?

  17. Hey Neil, wanna see my biscuits? 😛

    And doesn’t cooking in a bag prevent the transmission of fines herpes AND make for easy cleanup?

  18. The thought of Rachel Ray in nothing but heels and an apron made me gag and lose my apetite. I think she belongs more in the oven and basted than on top of it. Just my personal opinion.

  19. Hey just as long as she knows what she’s getting into….

  20. Hey I didn’t get any emails today … but maybe if there’s herpes involved that’s a good thing!

  21. You can call me, 'Sir'

    June 14, 2007 at 5:06 am

    I think you underestimate the positive impact a dash of herpes can have on certain cream sauces.

  22. My secret ingredient for brisket is beer! That is on the brisket not drinking it. Seriously!

  23. nope, no recipes in my box either. I suppose my span filter got them flagged as sex mail with that herpes thing.

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