Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

April 12th


Ever since I moved back in with Sophia, she’s been trying to get me to move out of the house and into my own apartment.   I’m always telling her that I’m too depressed to go through all the trouble of looking through the classifieds, etc. 

Now I have something to admit to you.   Sophia cleverly found a way to break me out of my depression.  She threw this amazing virtual surprise birthday party for me, in which so many of you sent such lovely cards and gifts.  All your kindness and friendship worked better than Prozac!

But here is the actual surprising part, and it is a little embarrassing to reveal, but  — it wasn’t really my birthday!   The entire event was all set up by Sophia as a last-ditch effort to “make me feel good,” right before our trip to Portland,  so I wouldn’t have any excuses not to move out the house when we returned. 

Isn’t Sophia devious, but amazingly clever?  I’ve started visiting some vacancies today in Los Angeles with my mother, thanks to Sophia’s push (and with your generous help!)

Luckily, I have some other good news.  My REAL birthday is coming up on April 12th!  If you were unable to send a gift the first time, here is your opportunity to do so now!  I would also love it if everyone who sent me a card or gift for my fake birthday, does it again for my authentic birthday.  It would mean so much to me.  All of you are such good friends!

Since I’m not sure if I’m going to be living with Sophia or in my new apartment in two weeks, please send all packages to Danny.

Thank you in advance for making my upcoming birthday on April 12th the best one I’ve ever had!

Love, Neil


  1. Wow Neil! This is so amazing–we have the same birthday! My birthday is April 12th too! Since I’ve bonded so much with you and the other bloggers here, we can celebrate TOGETHER!

    No need to send heartfelt handmade cards or gifts to Belgium though, you can just send cash–online by bank transfer! I have a special bank account in Nigeria waiting for your donations!

    And Neil, why get an apartment when you can just move into Danny’s beautiful house? I hear Leah is moving to NY to star on Broadway, so there’s a room for you. Besides, he needs someone to handle his mail–it’s just gotten crazy lately.

  2. Happy April Fools’ Day!

  3. It’s quite possible that you could pull off a scam like that every month if you really really milked it!

  4. You’ll get nothing and like it.

  5. *sigh* All I can say is that I am happy that April Fool’s is on a weekend and that I therefore will not be subjected to endless jokes at work.

  6. Be happy not to live in France (maybe they also do that somewhere else?) but you’d also have to watch your back, where everyone tries to hang a fish onto it.

    Happy April fools’ day! (I came to look on your blog on purpose, thinking that the fooling us would have been to tell us something entirely true…) 😉

  7. Neil, I didn’t know what to get you for your REAL birthday, so I’m just sending money. I know it’s not terribly creative, but I’m not a terribly creative person. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that the check is in the mail.

  8. My first thought was “Neil has some SERIOUS chutzpah!”

    And I like Rabbit’s comment. My money is in the same envelope. Look out for it. 🙂

  9. Don’t you pull your April Fool’s tomfoolery on me, mister 😉

  10. I totally fell for this until I read the comments and was reminded that it was April Fools’ Day. Jeeessh.

  11. You are evil. I’m keeping all the presents that come!

  12. I want my card back.

  13. …well, Tiny Tim and David Letterman both were born on the 12th of April. If they’re worthy of being born that day — maybe you are too!

    No more limericks from me, though. And you already are an alumnus of Kramer University, so I’m outta birthday present ideas. Just wanted you to know that.

  14. you are totally not an aries. liar liar pants on fire!


  15. “So Paul, did ya hear; did ya hear about that blogger guy out there in Los Angeles…”

    “A blogger guy, Dave?”

    “That’s what I said, Paul, a blogger guy. I even said it with the italics. Pay attention, Paul.”

    “Ah ha ha ha ha!”

    “So anyway, so he’s out there in Los Angeles and he’s blogging, or whatever it is that them blogger folks do…”

    “I believe they blog, Dave.”

    “Paul, if you interrupt me one more time I’m going to come over there and rip your head off, and stuff it down the hold in your neck.”

  16. You can call me, 'Sir'

    April 1, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    I feel so used.

  17. Neil, we’re both April birthdays! Now I think you’re even cooler.

  18. Aha-ha-ha-ha! I don’t which part of the joke is funnier: you asking for more birthday presents or suggesting that you went apartment shopping with your mom! (Not that your mom wouldn’t find you a totally rockin’ bachelor pad.)

  19. Not Faint Hearted is spot on about the apartment shopping with your Mom – doesn’t this just feed into Sophia’s MBA diagnosis?

  20. Hey, and what’s wrong with shopping with my Mom?!

  21. Is ANY part of the above post true? I like it when you put what percent of your post is true afterwards. You’re tricky and it’s the only way I can keep up with you.

  22. One ode per customer, bud.

  23. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You’re killin’ me. It will be interesting to see if anyone sends you any gifts. Let us know, ‘kay?

  24. Am I the only one confused?? Is it an April Fools joke?! If not, email me your address so I can send you a birthday card (but I can’t send you another $100 like I did in your last card.)

  25. What’s URI?

  26. i’m your special friend???
    that’s great, now off to make that special homemade card:) and maybe some jam:)

  27. You got Yoga already. Deal with it, you birthday double dipper, you. 😉

  28. Neil, happy real birthday…mine is the 24th…YAY APRIL BABIES!

    My dad is selling an amazing trailer off PCH if you’re interested. It is gorgeous. If you want to live in a trailer that is. Heh.

  29. Wow. Just wow.


  30. Nice scam there, birthday boy.

  31. Nice try… though I thought since I missed wishing you birthday greetings the first time around, I had a second chance.

  32. Oh my! Nefarious Birthday Plots. Does it get any better than this?

    Of course I’ll send you bananas for the event on April 12th.

  33. April Fools, huh?

  34. Oh dear. I am so confused now. Which birthday is the right one? See, this is why I hate April Fool’s Day. Stupid holiday…

  35. Neil- You’re right about gyms being kind of groady and gross, but when you’ve hit a dry spell as long as mine, REAL heavy breathing is almost obscene to my ears and the mind wanders. I hope you have the best birthday EVER.

  36. My…b’day is also on april 12th…so am also proud of ur achievement which makes this day memorable

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial