the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Back in LA


I flew back to Los Angeles today (goodbye New York!), and when I arrived at LAX, there was an angry mob greeting me at the gate demanding that I retract my statement from my last post, which insinuated that eating too many “fish tacos” in California makes you stupid.   I’ve already been in enough trouble lately, as I’ve been receiving daily visitors to my site searching for “Kramer’s racist rants,” as if I was lucky enough to be the actor who played the nutty neighbor in “Seinfeld.”   

In a public relations move, I would like to publicly renounce my previous statement about fish tacos.  I actually do enjoy fish tacos, especially at Wahoo’s.  They are tasty, and heart-healthy!  However, if you are a visitor to the Los Angeles area, please avoid the La Salsa chain, as their fish tacos are extremely mediocre and overpriced.  Even their tortilla chips taste old.  And sometimes I don’t even see a “sneeze-guard” at their infamous “salsa bar.”  Just take my advice and avoid the place.  You’ll be happy you did.

I also apologize for using that old cliche that East Coast people are smart and West Coast people are dumb and shallow.   It simply isn’t true.  I’ve lived in California for many years, and I’ve met some of the most intelligent, creative, and innovative individuals I’ve ever met, especially those who work in the entertainment business.

Here is a photo of the talented and beautiful Jennifer Love Hewitt, having sex with her Michael’s shopping cart in an Encino parking lot.



  1. Postmodern Sass

    Too late. Retropolitain and I have already decided that fish tacos are gross, and sexual. Don’t get me started. Ask him.

  2. V-Grrrl

    Being a smart, intellectual tweed-wearing, button-down loving East Coast Grrrl, I know better than to judge the California and the West Coast.

    Just because California elected actors as governors, presents surgically altered stick insects (disguised as women) as sex objects, and serves fish tacos and raw fish to unsuspecting consumers doesn’t mean they’re inferior.

    The West Coast gave us Starbucks, Eddie Bauer, and lots of good software, so I can forgive the rest. ; )

  3. Bice

    The cart is thinking, “I don’t like it from the back!”

  4. Tatyana

    Judging by the photo, that woman weighs as much as 3 packs of cereal.

  5. Noel

    MY “Search for Signs of Intelligent Life In Los Angeles” begins today, and perhaps you could lead me to a fish taco. Does the fish come from local waters? The thing in your photograph resembles no taco I’ve known: how are you supposed to hold it?

  6. Two Roads

    Wow even JLH is getting sex from a shopping cart. Neil what are you going to do??????

    So you capitulated and put the blogroll back. Pressure? Guilt?

    If I were in the angry mob I would be protesting the lack of posts from Neil’s Penis – we want more!

  7. Scarlet

    Im not sure I could ever TRY a fish taco, though.

  8. Non-Highlighted Heather

    That’s it. I’m organizing a field trip to Baja. Everyone pile in the Winnebago, we’re heading south for some surf, cerveza, and authentic fish tacos. Toes to the nose!!

  9. mckay

    i went to Michael’s and only got poor customer service. no hot cart sex, whatsoever. damn.

  10. psychomom

    Michael’s was out of the yarn I needed to finish a project so I refused to ride his cart. I had to ride Joann’s and I don’t care if anyone knows. I got my yarn fix and feel so much warmer.

  11. Crankster

    Fish tacos are dicey. You eat the wrong one, and you’re wrecked for life.

  12. Dagny

    Ummm. I kind of like La Salsa. Of course, nowadays I usually get my fish taco fix at Rubio’s. Because this far north, most folks look at you kind of strange when you say “fish tacos.”

    I think I’m going to go along on Heather’s road trip though. Nothing like a fish taco bought from a stand on the side of the road in Baja.

  13. Brooke

    Shopping is fun!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

  14. Churlita

    I was going to make a crude comment about the shopping cart getting some fish taco, but I decided to restrain myself. Whew! I’m sure glad I didn’t embarrass myself in your comments like that.

  15. Roonie

    If Wahoo’s is where you go for amazing fish tacos, you need to rethink your strategy. Senor Fish in Eagle Rock has Wahoo’s bound and gagged with a cork up its ass.

  16. Tatyana

    Churlita – I just thought you would fit right in in our office party last Thurs.
    Too bad you’re not in NY and don’t like work parties.
    But you would like this one, I’m sure.The tables didn’t break under our weight, chanting Felice Navidad and giggling, only because they were granite.

  17. Lou P.

    Hmm, JLH gets an upper body workout and vibration gratification from the shopping cart. Win/Win!

  18. Hilly

    I’m more upset that you are eating Wahoo tacos instead of real Taqueria style ones ;).

    My theory on why East Coasters find us to be more stupid is that we don’t use proper grammar and communication skills all of the time; we are a state of sland with a crazy Governator. But having been born and raised in California, I have to say there is a whole lotta smarts to go around.

  19. ms. sizzle

    what is WITH her hair!?

    don’t get me started!

  20. ajooja

    I only get “real” fish tacos 10 glorious days each year during our annual trip to San Diego. I bet I eat them for at least one-third of my meals.

    That’s pretty sad, but I love them.

    Liva la fish taco!!!

    BTW, I’d eat J. Love more than that if I had the chance. I’m just sayin. 🙂

  21. The Cynical Girl

    No coffee on Monday????

  22. JanePoe (aka Deborah)

    Fish tacos? Jennifer Love Hewitt? Connection?

  23. NSC

    Jennifer can do any damn thing she wants – she is brunette perfection, dammit.

  24. dan-E

    mmmm wahoo’s. you’re making my mouth water and i just ate dinner. not only are their fish taco’s great (though not exactly authentic “mexican”) their maui bowl with black beans totally rules.

  25. Chollyson

    Did she ask you to take this picture? Cause she seems to be enjoying it.

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