It’s election time in California again, which means a last minute barrage of commercials and telephone calls, all aimed at confusing the voter. So far, my favorite TV ads are for Tony “The Tiger” Strickland, who is running for California State Controller. I don’t know much about him except that he always runs around looking active and has the nickname of “the Tiger,” which he wants to hammer into your brain by actually putting in a ROAR at the end of his commerical (as if he was selling some sugary Kellogg’s cereal).
Look at this guy. Does he look like a tiger to you? Or is this what his son calls him on the miniature golf course?
Frankly, I want a State Controller who is sitting at his desk working on the budget problems of the state. Did I really want a state controller who spends most of his time rushing through hallways, passing off notes to his multi-ethnic assistants?
From now on, I will be Neil “the Leopard” Kramer:
“Neil “the Leopard” Kramer. He is a blogger! But you will never see him actually blogging. Watch as he passes by his Russian-born separated wife as he goes downstairs to the kitchen to make her breakfast! See him as he smiles and chats it up with the African-American check-out girl at Ralph’s Supermarket. Look how fast he walks. Watch as a multi-ethnic group of coffee drinkers nod and smile as “the Leopard” zips into Starbucks to buy a “fully-caffeinated” cup of coffee. Admire “the Leopard’s” virility as he checks out the lovely female Chinese-American’s ass as she pours the coffee.”
Aw, who am I kidding? Tony “the Tiger” Strickland’s political ad was effective, because he is the only candidate I now remember! I don’t even know what party he belongs to, but I am voting for him.
The one cool thing about voting in Redondo Beach is that voters in my area actually vote in someone’s LIVING ROOM! That’s right. I have no idea why we don’t vote in a school or someplace normal, but no — we wait in line outside someone’s apartment. You can even look into the resident’s kitchen as you are voting!
California usually has dozens of confusing propositions on the ballot about all sorts of issues, from taxing cigarettes to building roads. Being the liberal sort, I usually vote for DOING things with little regard to how California is actually going to pay for it, but there is one issue that I am changing my view on spending, and that is Education. Every year, I vote on allocating MORE money for MORE schools, MORE textbooks, SMALLER classes. Every year, I am told how important education is the success of California.
But are all these propositions I vote in actually working?
After years of more money for education — may I present to you the address of my voting place, as listed on every single one of my CA VOTING GUIDES, including the official one:
A Year Ago in Citizen of the Month: Modern Politics