the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Mom, Let Me Explain the Next Post To You


Dear Mom,

I know you read my blog every morning and I just realized that tomorrow, when you sit at your desk, turn on your computer, and start to read the next post — you will have no idea in hell what I’m talking about. 

YouTube?  Lonelygirl15? 

For this he went to college?

So, since you are already asleep and I will be asleep tomorrow morning, let me give you a brief explanation.

YouTube is a place where people put all sorts of crazy videos online, sort of like a homespun America’s Funniest Home Videos.   Like many things online, the age of most of the participants is 16. 

Now I had never even heard of Lonelygirl15 until this morning.   I was going onto Technorati (a resource for bloggers) to see if people were still searching for Suri Cruise as a subject of interest.  I wanted to know if my last “panda” post was old news already, so I could beat myself up for not publishing it LAST week when Suri Cruise was hot. 

Blogging is all in the timing.

While I was on Technorati, I saw that 9-11 was the #1 search of the day.  That made sense. 

But #2 was Lonelygirl15. 

“Lonelygirl15?  What the hell is that?  Some new girl band?”  I asked myself.

I’m sure you are as befuddled as I was.

Here’s an article explaining the phenomenon. 


Kids today!  They’re nuts…

Anyway, with Suri getting old, I immediately needed some “hot” topic to bring in the important “young” demographic to my blog.   I figured that by writing a “sexy” post about Lonelygirl15, I would show the kids that I’m “hip” to what they are doing.   After all, if I want advertising dollars, I’m not going to get it with the bunch of old fogies who usually read this site –  some of them are older than 25!

Anyway, Mom, now that you understand the background to the story, enjoy the next post!  We’ll speak later…


  1. ams

    Krazy kids indeed!! I only read a bit of that article but it sounds similar to the Sandi Thom videos of “gigs” in her bedroom that got her a record deal in the UK. Turns out the whole thing was staged by a marketing company.

    Whatever next? Sliced bread??!

  2. LisaBinDaCity

    EWWWW! Your Mom reads when your penis blogs? Double EWWWW!!!!

    That’s just all kinds of wrong 😉

  3. Bre

    I have had oh-so-many similar conversations with my mother. Though I usually forget that she is reading until she calls me and says “didn’t I teach you better than to curse on the internet?!”

  4. justrun

    Sadly, I needed just as much explanation as your mother on this one. Figures, I am 26.

  5. ElizaF

    Thank you for the education, I had never heard of this one either. So is your Mum going to wash your PC out with soap the next time she sees you??!!


    I feel enriched, never heard of lonelygirl15

  7. Dagny

    Awww. I often find myself explaining stuff to my mom as well. But not on my blog. Because she doesn’t even know what a blog is.

  8. Neil

    The Next Morning: Hi Mom, just got up. What is it with people concerned about you reading the blog? I don’t understand those who DON’T let their mothers read their blog!

    And I find it funny that it is the single dating women who usually say, “Eww, your mother reads your blog.” As if, god forbid your mother will read your post about you having sex on the kitchen floor. She knows you like sex! So does she!

    Ironically, it is the prim and proper mommybloggers who have no problem with my mother reading my blog. They say “I’ve seen my son’s penis so many times as a kid, I don’t mind that his penis is talking — as long as it sends me a mother’s day card!”

  9. Elaine "Mom" Kramer

    Thanks, Neil. I love you. But I aleady knew all about Lonelygirl15. I’ve been watching her videos since day one. I knew they were fake!

    And I really hope your readers will go back and read that great post about Larry King and the pandas. From what I hear, your stats show that hardly anyone actually read it. Which is a shanda, considering it took you forever to resize all those photos and “cut and paste” the Larry King transcript. Why are bloggers so lazy as to not go back to older posts?

    Work sucks as usual. I’ve been watching videos on YouTube at work all day. Hee Hee. LOL! I’d love to start my own blog and write about how inept my company is, but I don’t want to get Dooced — if you know what I mean. And what is it with that Dooce anyway? What kind of blog doesn’t have comments? And for this she can pay the bills? May we all be as lucky! Knock on wood.

  10. Rhea

    Neil, Was that really your Mom writing in? She uses the word ‘sucks’??? Wow, how cool is that? Actually, my mother, may she rest in peace, died many years ago, and maybe that’s a good thing ’cause if she were alive she’d be reading MY blog!!

  11. Nics

    Well I’m only 22 and I’d never heard of this lonelygirl thing.

  12. Tara

    Wow. You know, if that’s you pretending to be your mom, it’s very Norman Bates of you.

  13. Sarah

    I had no idea what Lonelygirl was either. I’m a mom, though, so I guess that is why. 😉
    I loved the Panda post and the post that requires explanation, but have been a bad commenter. Bad Commenter!
    Always reading, though, just wanted you to know.

  14. Lux Lisbon

    I’m starting a new trend LonleyCougar31. it’s going to be the hotest thing since sliced sliced bread.

  15. jessica

    hmmm, i had never heard of her…glad you got me in the loop =)

  16. better safe than sorry

    i’ve heard of it, but i’ve got three kids that are in the loop, they show me all sorts of stuff i’m amazed to see.

  17. Cathouse Teri

    God, a cuter thing can’t be found (not even Suri). A man who makes blog posts to his mother.

  18. 2nd Pearl Past the Post

    Ohhhhh. So that’s what that’s all about. invaluable codex article.

    So many fakers. People, not tool makers, itinerant narration creators.

  19. Mr. Fabulous

    LOL I have thought about doing a similar post. In fact I probably still will. At least I’ll be stealing from the best!

  20. mckay

    neil’s mom, i’m sincerely happy for you in the regard that your son has told you about his blog and welcomes you reading it.

    i wish i could say the same for my daughter and her myspace account. i only found it while searching for her (like a lost kid at the mall). …and then when i told her not to post her fist and last name on the net or her cell phone number(just good solid mom advice and i showed great restraint by not smacking her on the side of the head, IMOHO), what does she do?? she sets her account to private. which is good i guess, since that stops all the boogie men from oggling. but now i’m tempted to make a fake 17 year old boy myspace account so i can snoop at her page and blog again.

    neil’s mom, what would you do?

  21. Anomie-Atlanta

    Who is Dooce?

  22. amanda

    mrs. kramer and i need to lunch because i think we are on the same page technologically. i had no idea what this was, but i found that la times article fascinating!

  23. rach

    Old fogeys? Tsk, I am shocked Young Neil

  24. Elaine "Mom" Kramer

    McKay — I would lock her in her room without computer access.

  25. Sweet

    Sounds like your mom is light years ahead of mine. She’s just starting out on IM, and the fact that I blog scares her. She thinks some creepy man from the internet is going to come and get me!

  26. Charming, but single

    Why the hell would y’all tell your parents that you blog? My parents just started using the term “google it.”

  27. CrankMama

    Don’t tell your MOM about your BLOG, sillee.

  28. Brooke

    I don’t know which one of us is the bigger dork. You for trying to prove that you are hip, or me for not knowing – or giving a shit – about Lonelygirl

  29. Neil

    Probably me, Brooke.

  30. bookfraud

    are there naked pictures of lonelygirl15 here? your blog came up when i googled “lonelygirl15 nude pics who has hot sex with neil.” isn’t this the place?

  31. Grins

    I might have needed a walker to get to my keyboard to type a comment but this 41 year old knew who LonelyGirl was. Wait, maybe that isn’t a good thing. Nevermind, pretend it is senility setting in.

  32. elle

    Oh, please Neil’s mom, tell me you just skip the talking penis posts. And, ew Neil, your mom saw my underwear.

    hee hee

  33. Eileen

    I’m your blog crush? Aw- I’m touched! Thanks.

  34. emma

    I havn’t heard of this girl, but then I am over twenty five. Still can’t figure out what she’s marketing. Anyway, I had a brainwave. Why don’t you make a sexy video of yourself eating cookies on your bedroom floor, put it up on youtube, and hey presto, you will have millions of hits on your blog. Or, I am sure you can think of a better subject for a video. I was thinking your talking penis, but I think you’re too shy for that…

  35. Jody

    Neil, I knew about lonelygirl the old fashion way – the daily newspaper. I am one of two of my peers that actually reads the newpaper everyday. Believe it or not there is actually good information for blog material there! Sending from temporary cyberspace – I must0be addicted to your blog if I resort to reading your posts from my phone! Cheers!

  36. Dustin

    Neil, thank you for validating my general annoyance at this whole lonelygirl15 thing. I too, at 24, had never heard of this craziness until CNN decided to include it with my morning updates that apparently lonelygirl15 is a fake.

    After watching a few of her youtube videos I was like “ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING?!!?!” After 10 min. I could have told you that A.) Not a teenager, and B.) she’s not doing her own video editing.

    This $hit is almost as bad as the hype that William Hung got.

  37. New York Moments

    I’m an old fogey already?

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