the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Blogging Etiquette Errors

(by the way, what are these cats DOING on this book cover?)

I’d like to take a moment to talk about some blogging lessons learned:

1)   I need to better "signal" to my readers when I say something that isn’t exactly true.   It was nice of some of you to ask how my "date" went, but it was just a joke from the last post.  I also didn’t receive an package from Anna Kournikova.   I was especially surprised that someone thought I actually slept with Tom Cruise.  I have an overactive imagination and to me — all these things are true, but not in what some may call "reality."  I don’t want to become a "boy who cried wolf."  Sometimes, I do write about real things.  There is an actual Sophia — I think.  My mother did say "bolo" instead of "blog."  Should I put a little "kosher" sign next to each true statement in order to avoid confusion?

2)   I need to be careful when writing comments.   A very nice blogger deleted my comment and sent me a stern email after I wrote a joke about Japanese men.   Now, I know for a fact that Japanese men would be the ones who would find this joke the funniest, but I understand the sensitivity.  And by the way, some of my best friends are Japanese men — at least those that aren’t perverts.

3)   I need to be more careful when choosing names of fake characters.   In my post about the Coney Island hot-dog eating contest, I made up a Norwegian contestant named Holm Andresen.  I knew someone in college named Andresen and "Lord of the Rings" was on the television at the time, which stars Ian Holm as Bilbo Baggins — so I used the name "Holm." 

A few days later, I get an email from — B. Holm Andresen. 

He wants to know, "Who am I and why did I say he was in Coney Island eating hotdogs?" 

Fortunately, everything turned out OK.  B. Holm is a really cool artist living in London, and we emailed each other back and forth a couple of times.  He even helped me create a new fake Norwegian name.  If you’re going to London, check out his exhibit.

Are there any other blogging rules I need to learn, like not going to your site ten times a day so I look like a stalker in your stats?    


  1. Leese

    Don’t do what you just did today.

    I’m used to seeing a fresh post on every morning, and sometimes there’s an afternoon edition too. It’s part of my morning routine.

    This morning I went to this site to find the same Donald Duck post. Noon rolled around and still no new post.

    You need to be considerate of your readers. Blogging breaks need to be pre-approved ahead of time. You can prepare for these events by writing posts in advance and scheduling them to be published at a later date.

    It’s all about me, don’t ya know.

  2. Neil

    I won’t do that again. I woke up this morning and my back hurt. It must have been that wild sex last night (not true). Or maybe it’s just me sitting at the computer all day without getting up (probably true). I deeply respect all my readers (big lie). I blog because I like reaching out to others with my writing and not because I get to flirt with strange women over the internet like you, Leese (the biggest lie of the day). OK, off to my favorite website, (true) (OK, not true, but if there was one, I would go there)

  3. lizriz


  4. Brooke

    Laugh now, but when you and Holm are celebrating your golden anniversary, you’ll be grateful for that Coney Island blog. And you can write about it on your bolo.

  5. alley rat

    A few days later, I get an email from — B. Holm Andresen.

    how do we know this is true?

    by the way,thanks for the great porn site idea! i’m gonna get started right away,as soon as I slip out of the see-through negligee I bolo in.

  6. M.A.

    The Tom Cruise thing is my own naivete… but in my defense, I only thought that you did for like three minutes.

  7. The Moviequill

    I like Neil’s taste in women…they DO taste like chicken you know? Hey, do you realize that if I type REALLY BIG PENIS here, that is going to draw 11,000 new readers from Technorati?

  8. Neil

    Alley — Would I make up a story so uninteresting?

    M.A. — I appreciate that you think so highly of me that you believed I could actually snag a hunk like Tom Cruise.

    Moviequill — Thanks. Along with my “Japanese male pervert” comment, I think I’m going to corner the market.

  9. Modigli

    I don’t get the thing with the cats, either. They look like they’re either crazy or constipated! And what does that have to do with blogging, anyway?!

    I missed the morning installment, too. Glad to see this one tonight! 🙂

  10. alley rat

    neil, can you hook me up with one of your japanese male pervert friends? i love me some japanese pervert.

    does M.A. think you only did it with tom cruise for three minutes, or did she only think for three minutes that you did it with tom cruise?

  11. ubermilf

    I was worried I violated etiquette with my suggestive comment about Green Giant and Sprout.

    Your blog is both interesting and beautiful to look at, by the way.

    Carry on.

  12. Neil

    Alley — don’t be silly. The only time i did “it” for three minute was on special occasions like anniversaries when I was with my wife.

    Uber — I appreciate suggestive comments, especially those involving sprouts.

  13. JJ MacMillan

    I’m confused. If you didn’t have sex with Tom Cruise, where did the pictures come from?

  14. Edgy Mama

    You’re welcome to stalk me. And keep lying–you’re good at it! XO.

  15. Neil

    If I am, I must be a vokzal’naya blyad (train station whore). The one thing I learnt from Sophia is that there is no language richer in exotic curses and insults than Russian.

    (neilochka uses the endearment “chka” that you would only use with a female).

    It wasn’t hard to guess that a Tatyana from Brookyn would know Russian.

  16. Tatyana

    Apart from my weird English, of course.
    Believe me, there’s nothing exotic about train-station whores; I can’t fathom anybody would want to be one.

  17. anonymous city girl

    I am all for a little artistic license when it comes to blogging.
    We are writing for an audience. If we weren’t, we would feel the need to publish what we write onto the internet.
    I believe in changing the names of the innocent and guilty. I figure it is a matter of time till most my friends find my blog.
    As far as comments… I will to stay within the tone of someone’s blog (like I won’t curse in my comment if they don’t curse in their blog). And if someone says anything I don’t like on my blog, I just delete it. It might not be fair and might be cenorship, but my blog ain’t America, it’s ACG-land and my word is LAW.

  18. Tatyana

    Could that be the biggest lie of all is your gender?

    [judging by the email address; “chka” suffix in Russian reserved
    exclusively for girls]

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  19. kristine

    i have been laughing sporadically about those cats, alone in my office as wanderers pass by my open door, for the past 10 minutes.

  20. b holm andresen

    to Ally Rat: I confirm it 🙂

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