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The Cool Hunter, a popular trendspotting site on the net,  is looking for writers. 

Do you have a cool radar? Can you sniff out a trend well before it hits? Are you plugged into the arts, technology, fashion, music, design, travel, literary or film scene in your city?  Can you write short and snappy copy? If you answered yes to all of the above then email and tell us more about yourself. We’re on the hunt for additions to our global network of cool hunters to file for thecoolhunter.net  – one of the most popular trend spotting sites in the world.

Our extensive global coverage ensures that the Cool Hunter never misses a beat when it comes to emerging and future trendspotting. The essence of the Cool Hunter is the ethos of ‘global information channelling’ that is not regionally specific, but rather based on worldwide relevance. In a society obsessed with the shiny and new, The Cool Hunter has become the reference point of choice for the latest in what’s hot tomorrow.

Cool radar?  Yes.  Sniff out a trend?  I have a great sense of smell.  Plugged in?  You know it, baby.

I’m totally bored with this "Citizen of the Month" blog.   Time to move on and finds some readers who aren’t as wimpy as I am  — I was waiting all day yesterday for someone to say I should have punched that Beverly Hills woman in the nose.  Trendspotting, here I come!

This sounds like the ideal gig for me — knowing what’s cool and hot (I guess I shouldn’t tell anyone that I didn’t own a cell phone until three months ago… but once I got one, I got the coolest one… at least when I bought it.  Now they don’t even make the model anymore.  But I’m not going to mention that at the interview).

Here’s my writing sample for "The Cool Hunter" gig:

Hey, hipsters and cool cats, it’s me — Neilochka the Cool — with the latest buzz on everything shiny and new, hot and happening.  If it’s a trend that’s on fire, you know that Neilochka the Cool will be there first, reporting back to you from his futuristic bachelor pad somewhere in the City of Angels, or as me and my buds like to call it– Cool Central.

FOUR OF THE LATEST TRENDS FOR YOU

1)  Piggy-Back Riding 

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Forget the Vespa.  Toss away the Segway.  Hybrid who?  The hottest form of transportation is an old favorite with a sizzling new twist — it is giving your  pretty woman a piggy-back ride across town.  From Soho to Venice, CA —  to all hipstervilles across the country — dudes are putting their ladies on their back and taking them to work, to school, even the mall.  Think of all the gas mileage that’s saved as you take the little lady to the beauty salon on your back.  Not only is it sexy and trendy, it’s pro-environment.

2)   Bare-Chested Argentine Soccer Goalie Look

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Argentina’s economy may be in shambles, but nothing sets the world stage on fire more than their sexy soccer players.  Dressing the part is easy.  Just buy the official sweatpants, dress the woman on your back the same way, hang a chain on your neck, and strip every inch of hair off your body.  Sizzling?  You bet!  Or as they say in Argentina, "GOALLLLL!"

3)  Black Couples with Similar Afros

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It’s back to Harlem for Cotton and Shaft as retro hair lights the sky ebony!   Chocolate men, show them honkies who’s boss by carrying your Nubian Princess on only one shoulder.   A white tee and a goatee make the Afro-man a sight to see!

4)  Dry Humping

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Safe Sex is so Generation X.  The latest group of hipsters takes the birds and the bees to a higher evolutionary place — dry humping!   Ladies, tease your men with a little bit of side cleavage, but not too much — because this hanky-panky is done with your pants on.   Some old-school sexperts might find this lacking in spark, that’s why we suggest first putting your fingers in electrical sockets that make your hair stand up.  Talk about the Big O! 

Hire me!

hip as always,

Neil Kramer a.k.a Neilochka the Cool