radio Archives - Citizen of the Month

I thought my radio debut went pretty well.Â The host laughed a couple of times.Â But my Lethal Schlepin’Â joke, so popular on line, fell flat because of my bad timing.Â I was a little nervous, mostly because I had no idea what I wasÂ supposed to talk about.Â Afterwards, my biggest criticism came from Sophia and it was less about the content, then it was about my speech.Â She absolutely HATES when I go “ummm…like…,” thinking it’s just one notch above ape-language in the world of communication.Â Combined with my fast-talking, Noo Yawk accent, I’m probably not going to get a career in radio anytime soon.

But I probably should work on that “ummm…like…” speech.Â Any suggestions?Â Maybe there’s some sort of “My Fair Lady”-type elocution class at UCLA?Â

“The rain in spain falls mainly on Erica Kane.”

I woke up early to listen to the beginning of the online broadcast to get a sense of David Burd’s Washington Post Radio show.Â 4 AM in LA!Â I broke out in a sweat when I heard him say, “Later we’re going to speak to Neil Kramer in LA about why he chose Mel Gibson as his Citizen of the Month.”

Huh?Â I never said that!Â Is he calling me thinking I am a supporter of Mel Gibson?Â Of course, I immediately woke Sophia up, who was not very happy (we were at a wedding last night until late).Â

“I need to come up with some line to explain why Mel Gibson is my Citizen of the Month!” I spouted.

Sophia threw the alarm clock at me, but, as always, came through at the last moment with a great opening line.

I tried to download the online broadcast, but I screwed up.Â I only captured the first minute.Â I wrote to the show to see if they can send me a copy of my spot.Â Let’s see if they actually will…

You can hear that little piece of my interview about Mel Gibson here. (link)

All and all, I did pretty good, but I think I should stick to ummm… like… writing.

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:Â And the Winner is… Boules!

Radio DJ: “Welcome back to KNEIL, the HOTTEST music station on EARTH, home to the WIN WIN WIN KNEIL CONTEST. The fifth caller gets free tickets to this weekend’s HOTTEST concerts and MORE! Hope you’re all enjoying your weekend out there. It’s definitely SUMMER. It’s a SCORCHER out there. HOTTTT!!! Hoping you’re keeping COOL at the BEACH. Woo-hoo, I wish I were there RIGHT NOW! Bikini babes and surfer dudes — BLASTING KNEIL and rocking with the SUMMER BEAT of the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, and today. IT’S KNEIL. K-N-E-I-L. More commercial-free music. More rock. More soul. More. More. More. Summer means music and KNEIL plays the best summer songs all SUMMER LONG. Who doesn’t associate the summer with music? Remember the song that reminds you of your first kiss? Of that special summer vacation? Of “See You in September” playing in sleep-away camp? DING. DING. DING. It’s dedication hour. Call in RIGHT now with your favorite summer song from yesterday or today! What summer memory does this song remind you of? Call KNEIL! And the first caller is DING DONG: You’re on KNEIL!”

Neil: “Hi, this is Neilochka.”

Radio DJ: “Yo! Neilochka! What’s happening. What’s the STATION THAT ROCKS?”

Neil: “KNEIL!”

Radio DJ: “RING. RING. RING. What song do you want to hear and why?”

Neil: “It’s an old Donna Summer song, called “Bad Girls.” I remember being at a friend’s house and his sister putting it on the stereo, and some girl chased me around the pool, and I slipped and needed stitches. But I had the last laugh because the girl got in troubleÂ for running around the pool.”

Radio DJ: “BING BING BING. What a hot summer memory! BEEP BEEP BEEP. It’s SUMMER LOVE WEEKEND, all day today — COMMERCIAL FREE — on KNEIL, where it pays to PLAY! Neil, would you like dedicate this great song to anyone special?”

Neil: “Yes. I have a blog at citizenofthemonth.com, and I’ve become good friends with many brilliant, creative, and gorgeous women who I’ve met through my blog. I’d like to dedicate this summer song to these talented women, because I now think of them whenever I hear this song.”

Radio DJ: “GONG! This is for you, female readers of Citizen of the Month — a special song dedicated to YOU, here on KNEIL!”

Bad Girls by Donna Summer

Bad girls
Talking about the sad girls
Sad girls
Talking about bad girls, yeah

See them out on the street at night, walkin’
Picking up on all kinds of strangers
If the price is right
You can’t score if you’re pocket’s tight
But you want a good time
You ask yourself who they are
Like everybody else
They come from near and far
Bad girls, yeah

Bad girls
Talking about the sad girls, yeah
Sad girls
Talking about bad girls, yeah

Friday night and the strip is hot
Sun’s gone down and they’re out to trot
Spirit’s high and legs look hot
Do you wanna get down
Now don’t you ask yourself who they are
Like everybody else, they wanna be a star

Bad girl
Sad girl, you’re such a naughty bad girl
Beep-Beep, uh-uh
You bad girl you sad girl
Your such a dirty bad girl
Beep-Beep, uh-uh

Now you and me we’re both the same
But you call yourself by different names
Now your mama won’t like it when she finds out
That her girl is out at night

Hey, Mister, have you got a dime
Mister, do you want to spent some time
Oh, yeah
I got what you want, you got what I need
I’ll be your baby, come and spend it on me
Hey, Mister
I’ll spend some time with you

P.S. — It seems that everyone has music on their mind during the hot summer in the city: more music favorites at Fringes and Rebecca.

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: Lies and Lying