For a writer to be parodied and mocked is one of the greatest honors. Or is it? Although it’s not much of a parody if I’ve already said most of these things about myself.
This is a post from Douchebrity, an actual new site:
God, I’m So Fucking Brilliant
I was so excited when the folks from Douchebrity asked me to write for them this morning. I thought to myself:
“Now here’s a great opportunity to try and pump my stats and link back to myself constantly”
You see, I spend ALL day refreshing my statcounter. As a matter of fact, my imaginary Ex-Wife that I made up so people wouldn’t think I was a complete loser, has tried to pry my swollen fingers away from the F5 button, to no avail. I can even find it in dark. Cause I like to turn off the lights and look at hot blogging chicks and pretend they might actually be interested in me.
The other day, while my mom was making me noodle koogle, I thought to myself:
“Thank god my female readers don’t look into my archives or else they’d find out the truth about my appearance. Then they’d laugh at me when I try to talk sexy with them in the comment section. Or when I ask to be nominated for the World’s Sexiest Blogger. Or stop cyber-sexing me on AIM. And who are we kidding, that’s the only action I get.”
But that’s what it takes to be a problogger. Technorati’s my real bitch…links, links, links. Say it slowly with me now (hold on while I get out my astroglide) OH YEAH LINKS, OH OH OH PLEASE MORE LINNNNNNKS.
Holy Kishkas, that was good.
by NCramer | No Comments | tags: Penis Envy