Recently, I’ve been receiving many emails that go something like this:

"I’m a female blogger that loves your blog, "Citizen of the Month."  At night, I fantasize about you making love to me and you always bring me to an intense orgasm.  How do you do it?"

Male bloggers are known to be excellent imaginary lovers.  In fact, I’m currently working on an article for Cosmo magazine titled "Sex and the Male Blogger."


From the article:

Citizen of the Month:  "Hello, men."

Male Bloggers:  "Hello, Neilochka dude!"

Citizen of the Month:  "Male bloggers have a well-deserved reputation for their excellent oral sex techniques online.   Can you tell Cosmo readers what you do to give women such amazing orgasms in the imaginary world of the blogosphere?"

Pauly D:  "Well, Neilochka, you’re clearly the expert here.  Why don’t you tell us?"


Sophia says:  I’m sorry, regular readers of this blog.  As Neil’s editor, I must wrestle editorial control away from Neil and hijack this post.  For the sake of Neil’s future literary career, the remainder must be censored. Not because of any sexual content.  In fact, the sex jokes are pretty lame, and I’m sure most women are rolling their eyes at the idea of him being any "sex expert."  Believe me, I know the truth first hand.  No, the biggest problem with this post is that it is incredibly stupid.  You see, Neil is a little sexually frustrated, if you haven’t figured that out already.  It’s gotten to the point where I might even take pity on him, just so he can start writing some decent posts again.  Remember back in September when he actually wrote something meaningful?  Anyway, I apologize for the interruption, but clearly you see how necessary it is.


Neil:  "…so that’s how I do it.  With some patience and practice, all of you male bloggers can be as amazing as I am in the sack.  So, let’s go, men, let’s bring those women to multiple orgasms!"


Today on Blogebrity:  The Amazing Tale of Ashbloem and Bono