Actual email I received yesterday from a legitmate television producer:


Are you a certified sexologist? I’m doing a show where I need an expert, and you appear to be perfect.


Huh?  The only explanation was that he read this NSFW post that I wrote almost two years ago, when I was still perfecting the craft of blogging.

My email back to the producer:

P —

I’m not “certified” under California or New York law, or anywhere else to be honest, but I enjoy sex, and give unwanted advice all the time on my blog, so in that way, I’m perfect.  My wife wouldn’t say I’m an “expert” either, although I try my best!


Neil Kramer

Unfortunately, he wrote back and said that he could only use an expert with a certified sexologist degree.  Snob!  Like having a sexology degree means anything.   Then again, if I had known that I could have had a television career being a sexologist, I wouldn’t have wasted all that time on my useless English degree!  And unlike the girls in my Columbia “Chaucer and Medieval Lit” seminar, I bet you the babes in Oral Sex 101 actually do put out!