For the first portion of the 13th edition of “Survivor,” which premieres Sept. 14, the contestants competing for the $1-million prize while stranded on the Cook Islands in the South Pacific will be divided into four teams — blacks, Asians, Latinos and whites.
It was announced today that General Motors has ended its sponsorship of CBS’s hit series “Survivor.” Some are wondering if this has anything to do with Survivor’s decision this year to divide the contestants by race and ethnicity, rather than the usual cheap gimmicks of gender and age.
Honestly, do these divisions even matter to the show, considering how the producers always seem to “keep around” the young girls in the bikinis for as long as possible, while kicking the old, demographically-wrong broads off as fast as the next promo break?
GM says the new gimmick has nothing to do with their decision to leave the show. Others continue speaking out about the show’s lack of good taste. For instance, a group of New York City officials has criticized the new format, saying it promotes divisiveness. They have asked CBS to reconsider its plans.
“How could anybody be so desperate for ratings?” City Councilman John Liu asked last week.
Show creator Mark Burnett pooh-poohs the criticism.
“By putting people in tribes, they clearly have to get rid of people of their own ethnicity,” Burnett, who also created NBC hit “The Apprentice”, told a group of reporters on Tuesday, Variety reports. “So it’s not racial at all.”
The big question is — will this be a fascinating sociological study or does this mean that Survivor, after 12 seasons on the air, has finally “jumped the shark.”
But excitement for the show runs big on the Vegas strip, as the professional gambling community debates the odds of which ethnic group will win.
“I put my money on the Asians” said Murray “The Greek” Solipikis. “They are smart and wise, like Mr. Miyagi.”
The following are the current odds, according to Las Vegas Reality Show Oddsmaker (LVRSO). (as always, remember to gamble responsibly!
African-Americans
Pros
- Good in athletics
- Have “street smarts”
- Can use “rapping” as a secret code between tribe members
- Tribal Camp will have the best music
- Can bring out “race card” if too many tribal members are eliminated
Cons
- Men cannot swim
- Wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a “Survivor bandana”
- Can’t understand why “crazy white folk” ENJOY camping outside
- “Eat bugs — are you out of your motherf***ing mind?!”
THE ODDS 20-1
Asians
Pros
- Others will be afraid that they might know “martial arts”
- Math geeks will be good at solving “puzzle challenge”
- Can make anything taste good by stir-frying it in a wok
- Have actually eaten bugs as a delicacy
- Japanese women thin enough to slide under obstacle courses
- Asian cultural “group dynamics”
Cons
- Too polite, let others go first
- Mediocre at sports
- Can build a microprocessor, but cannot set up a tent
- Infighting between Japanese and Koreans
- Sleepless nights as Japanese men rub against women while reading “Manga” pornographic comic books
THE ODDS 30-1
Latinos
Pros
- Espanol has the best curses!
- Women have nice big asses so fat deposits will help them survive longer
- Men learned effective team management in Latin gangs such as 18th Street, MS13, and Pacatrece
- When food gets low, have no problem sneaking into other camps as “illegal immigrant” tribesmembers
- Women can distract men of other tribes by shaking “Shakira-style” during competitions
Cons
- Have never actually watched this dumb show — Jeff who?
- Churros not included in “food competition”
- It is difficult to dance salsa in the dirt
- No siestas allowed during the game
- Can actually make MORE than a million dollars by selling vegetables on the freeway
THE ODDS 3-1
Caucasians
Pros
- Stupid enough to enjoy camping and “proving” oneself by eating live bugs
- The network wants them to win
- Were the only competitors invited over to Jeff Probst’s home for dinner
- Have actually watched all previous 12 seasons of Survivor because that is what “white people” do on Thursday night
Cons
- Zero street smarts
- Boring as hell
- Women anorexic before the game even begins
- They take the game WAY too seriously
THE ODDS 12-1
Which group are you rooting for?
(note:Â thank you, Laurie, the phattest Southern belle knitting blogger in LA, for telling me that I was totally off-base with previously using the Crips and Bloods as Latino gangs. I am SO WHITE!)
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