Song based on Alone Again (Naturally) by Gilbert O’Sullivan
(original mp3 here)

It was just a few hours ago,
That Sophia went off to her show,
Leaving me right here
Holding back a tear
And sitting here drowning in woe.

But my Penis said to me,
“Lonely? Neil, you’ll never be!
Cause around the clock
You can play with your c**k
Proving that you’re self-sufficient

Enough to be a man
Who doesn’t need a blogger’s pity
Cause all you really care about
Are photos of her titty!”

You may as well go home.
And do it on your own,
Alone again, naturally.”

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: Deconstructing Gwyneth Paltrow