Tonight I had dinner with Dan, a USC film-school friend, who I never see because his wife never let’s him out of the house.
"So, Dan, how were you able to go out on a Wednesday night on your own?"
"Janet is having a Pure Romance party in the house."
"It’s like a modern-day Tupperware party. A group of women get together and they sell women’s things."
"Women’s things? You mean like, uh… (saying it softly so the rest of the Cheesecake Factory didn’t hear)… dildos?"
"That and sex toys, I think."
"Can we stop by?"
We came up with a devilish plan. We knew Janet and the women would be in the living room. So, we decided to enter the house from the back and listen in from the kitchen."
I was all excited pondering what secrets I was going to hear. A group of sexy woman talking about sex toys. Maybe they’re talking openly about their boyfriends and husbands. What they like. Kinky stuff. I was already planning writing a blog post all about it. This would surely shoot me up to the B-List.
We sneaked in from the back. We tiptoed through the foyer and into the kitchen. We could hear the throaty voice of a woman speaking. Someone neither of us knew. Her voice had an air of authority, as if she was the organizer.
And was the talk about sex? Kinky stuff?
No, she was talking about money. How much it cost to buy the kit. How much profit you could make by selling parts of your kit to other saleswomen under you. This Pure Romance was a pyramid scheme!
Janet, Dan’s wife, walked into the kitchen. She quickly shut the door on seeing us.
"What the hell are you guys doing here?"
"Janet, do you realize that this whole thing is a pyramid scheme?"
"Of course I do, Dan. I went to Wellesley. I’m not stupid. I just think this is a good time to get in and run the Brentwood dildo-market before anyone else comes in. I’m gonna make a fortune"
Dan nodded, agreeing with his wife’s street smarts. I excused myself and went into their backyard. I called up Sophia on my cellphone.
"Sophia, hi, it’s me. Let me ask you something. What do you know about the Redondo Beach dildo market?"