Countdown to the Big Show

Posted on December 8, 2010 by Neil

It’s cold outside.  I have a hole in one of my gloves.  My last couple of posts have leaned towards the depressing.  I’m sure many of you feel the same way.   There is only one solution:  The Fifth Annual Blogger Christmalhijrahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert is coming to town NEXT WEEK!  It’s going to be the show to end all shows.  Bigger than the Beatles at Shea Stadium!  Or U2.  Or Kanye West.  Or even Justin Bieber!

This will be my last post until the big concert.  I need to save my energy to personally set the stage, rig the lights, and make the complimentary hot dogs for the guests.

So, I’ll remind you one more time.  If you want to participate, sign up in the comments over here.  Any search of “Top Holiday songs” on Google will lead you to a great many song choices for you to sing.  Or make up your own song.

Our concert will be an odd mix celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and the Muslim New Year of Al-Hijira.

If you are in New York City any time until February, the New York Public Library has a terrific exhibit titled Three Faiths: Judaism, Christianity, Islam.  If you wish to know more details about any of these Abrahamic religions, the NYPL website might be a good place to start.

Oh, yeah.  We will also be celebrating the Winter Solstice for those pesky atheists.

The concert is Wednesday, DECEMBER 15. I would like to have all files by DECEMBER 13.

When you make your audio or video, you can send it to me or post it to YouTube or Vimeo, and send me the link.  Video files are large and most email services have limits.  So if you want to send me the file, use YouSendIt.com or Dropbox.

WE WILL ALSO NEED HOLIDAY PHOTOS to decorate the page.  If you are a blogger, feel free to send me a personal photo that relates to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Al-Hijira.

Any questions, you know where to find me (probably on Twitter).

I’ll see you at the show.  Wear nice shoes.

Posted in Blogging and the Internet | Tagged | 2 Comments

Community

Posted on December 8, 2010 by Neil

Reverb Prompt:   Community.  Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010?  What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I read some touching responses to this “community” prompt today.  So many of us have found such comfort, support, and friendship through community online and offline.

I’m going to turn this prompt on its head.  Frankly, I’m tired of the overuse of the word “community.”  Social media has given the word a bad taste in my mouth.  It has become an abstract.  I get lost in abstracts.  While I understand the essential human need for community, not every group of three people needs to be considered a community.  I think there are far too many people trying to create a fake community as a platform for themselves.  A group of people who develop around my words, such as my commenters or Twitter followers, should not be considered a community, unless you consider me a cult leader.   A community is a give and take.

Maybe I’m being old-fashioned.  Maybe a community can grow around anything online, from Walmart to babywearing.   I guess we all belong to 100s of tiny communities online.  So what?  Has this made us less lonely or happier?  I saw more community fighting online than ever before.   Everyone wants to make each community into their own image.

I want to escape this world of abstracts.  It makes me ill to think of you as “traffic” or “a platform” or “followers.”   Maybe I’m the only one thinking that the word “community” means something more profound, and I’m not catching the wry winks you give each other, indicating that we all are in on the charade.

I don’t want to join, create or deeply connect with ANY community in 2011.  I want to connect with individuals.  That is my goal for 2011.  Boo community.  It will be the year of the Individual.

I can go on and on about the many different individuals I met this year, but I will just mention one, mostly because she was the first one who popped into my head.   She is a good-hearted individual that I connected with this year.  She is a nurse and mother on Twitter.   She is very supportive, and gave me good advice during the long illnesses of Sophia’s stepfather, despite having her own family challenges to deal with at home.   Thanks Heather.  And thank you to the other individuals online who made my year special.  You may be part of my community, but it is your individuality that touched me most.

Posted in Blogging and the Internet | Tagged , | 16 Comments

Like “Jersey Boys”

Posted on December 7, 2010 by Neil

My mother called up from her winter rental in Century Village, Boca Raton, Florida.

“Hey, Mom.  How you doing?”

“Good.  I saw a fabulous show last night.”

“Oh yeah?  What?”

“I forgot the name.   A singing group.  There is a show about them on Broadway.”

“I don’t know.”

“You do know.”

“Frankie…”

“You mean Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons?”

“Yes.”

“You saw Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons?”

“No.”

“Oh, you mean they had a production of Jersey Boys at Century Village?”

“No.  It was people doing the songs of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.”

“So, that’s Jersey Boys.”

“No, Jersey Boys is the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.  This had no story.  It was just the songs of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.”

“So, they were Frankie Valli and the Four Season imitators?”

“No, they were more imitators of Jersey Boys.”

“Jersey Boys ARE imitators of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.  So what you saw was an imitator of an imitator.”

“But they were very good.  Now I don’t need to pay $100 and see Jersey Boys.”

“This reminds me of when you went to Italy last year and the tour bus ran out of time, so they took you to see an imitation of the imitation of the statue of David.”

“Next week, I’m going to see Tom Jones.”

“Tom Jones is coming to Century Village?!”

“No.  Someone who sings like him.”

“Then STOP saying you’re going to see Tom Jones.  You’re not seeing Tom Jones.  You’re seeing a Tom Jones imitator.  It is confusing me when you say that.  Say that you are seeing a Tom Jones imitator.”

“It says in the brochure, “Hear the music of Tom Jones.”"

“Yeah, it is the songs of Tom Jones.  But you’re not really seeing Tom Jones.”

“Eh, if he is good enough, does it really matter?”

“So, why don’t you hire someone who looks and sounds JUST like me to be your imitation son.  That would be the same thing, right?”

“Maybe my imitation son would actually send me a Hanukkah card, hmm?”

Posted in Life with My Parents | Tagged , , , , | 15 Comments

One Word

Posted on December 6, 2010 by Neil


David’s “The Anger of Achilles”

I’ve been upset the last few nights, sleepless over something rather innocuous — a writing prompt that I saw on someone’s blog:

“Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word.   Explain why you’re choosing that word.”

I saw a few of the responses from other writers, many which were about commercial success, accomplishment, or internal transformation towards a healthtier lifestyle or mindset.

When I tried to truthfully come up with my one word, all I could come up were words like illness, death, frustration, and loss.

This made me angry.  So much so, that I haven’t blogged in five days, not knowing what to do with this odd feeling sitting in my gut.  I’m not comfortable with the emotion of anger.  I’m also hosting The 2010 Blogger Christmalhijrahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert on December 15, and I was fearful of creating a negative vibe on this blog.   After all, what type of Holiday concert impresario feels, of all things, like a Scrooge?

Don’t get me wrong.  I love working with you on the concert.  Hearing your voices gives me immense joy.  But my negativity was scaring me.

Many of my friends are believers in positive thinking.   I tried to re-frame my relation to my past year by changing my one word to something more uplifting.   Rather than seeing 2010 as a year of death (both of my in-laws), I decided to use the word “strength.”  Sophia and I endured the year, despite the long hospital visits, the changing of the bed sheets, the decisions made, and the funerals attended.  I was “strong” enough to make it through the year in one piece, despite marital woes and graying hair.  It just seemed an insult to the memory of those that passed, to interpret the year in a positive light.

All year, I have been obsessed with the popularization of the word “branding.”  Perhaps branding should be the entire internet’s choice of one word to represents 2010.  While there are different interpretations of what this word “branding” means, I see it as more appropriate for consumer products like print cartridges than the world of living, breathing, human beings.   Once we sell ourselves like soap,  we are forced to be unrealistically upbeat, “inspirational,” and photoshopped.  I just cannot “market” 2010 as “strength,” even to myself.

So what should be my one word?  I’m afraid of telling you that 2010 — to me — was mostly about “death” and “anger.”  I know that sounds harsh, and it is embarrassing to admit.   We tout authenticity and honesty, but I have a feeling that we mostly day that to sell our seminars.

There is no post more symbolic to me on this theme than my very first post of 2010, written on January 3, 2010, titled “The Incident in the Car.”  I was still in New York at the time, not aware of what my year was going to present to me.  I decided to start my new blogging year with more focus on writing, more like a memoir, hoping to give my readers a fuller view of my life experiences.  Without my fanfare, I spun a small memory piece about high school-angst.  This short post caused a storm of outrage against me, with total strangers coming to my blog accusing me of crimes akin to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby.  I was also unfollowed on Twitter by several bloggers, including some who later touted “authenticity.”  Others were quick to comment on that day because of the “buzz,” but never once showed up on my blog for the rest of my difficult year, more concerned with a completely minor event from decades ago than anything to do with my current life.

Was I wrong to bring up this somewhat dramatized tale of overheated teenage frustration and insensitivity, especially to an audience of women?  In terms of blogging and branding, probably YES, that is if I see my blog’s goal as primarily a PR tool.

When I look back over my archives, I get angry over the experiences of my last year.  It wasn’t a good year, and maybe it is too soon to learn any “positive lessons.”

I tossed and turned the last few nights, not sure whether to talk about my negative emotions.  I was worried that you will brand me as “Neilochka, the angry guy,” or “Neilochka, the one associated with dead people.”  The biggest danger to this increasingly online world is that we easily mix up words and images with action and intent.  If I write a fantasy post about sleeping with ten women, you can not really judge my real-life actions, just my rather bizarre mind.  Even in my most lurid fantasies, I am always polite, even serving breakfast the next morning to all ten of these women.   If you want to judge me solely on my writing, that is your prerogative, just as it is your right to publicly praise another writer, when you know that he is — in reality — sending pornographic photos to all of your friends.  We live in a bizarre world where image is more important reality.

We should remember — as writers — that the first great book, if not the very first book of Western Civilization is Homer’s Illiad.  And the very first word of that book is “menis” — anger.

Menis means “anger, wrath, rage,” and the menis referred to here is specifically that of Achilles, the hero of the Iliad, Homer’s epic poem about the Trojan War. Achilles is enraged at Agamemnon, the leader of the Greek army, for taking one of Achilles’ hard-won prizes, a slave girl, Briseis; moreover, menis is what the entire Greek army is feeling, as the Iliad is set in the tenth year of the Trojan War. The Greeks have been away from home for all those years and are restless and uneasy about the outcome of the war, and about whether they will ever return hom; their rage simmers just below. Achilles’ anger over his slighted honor is so great that he almost kills Agamemnon and is stopped only when Athena, the goddess of wisdom, pulls him by the hair and stops him.

What I like about ancient literature, including the Greeks and the Hebrew Bible, is that the  writers don’t sugar coat human experience.  There is death and joy standing side by side, like Achilles and Agamemnon.   Anger and celebration.  War and love.  Writing is not only an imitation of a glossy Martha Stewart magazine.

I’m not the best person to be pontificating about writing the full range of human emotion.  I’m mostly a light, funny writer.  That is a large part of my personality.  But I would hate to shy away from dealing with my three-dimensional life, because I would be judged, or it didn’t fit my “brand.”

Which brings me back to the Holiday Concert.  I’ve been hosting this concert for five years, and this is the first year where I feel a bit disconnected.  I am trying hard to reconnect with my Holiday Spirit.  But it doesn’t really matter.  I enjoy participating, and I love to see YOUR  joy.

If I can attempt to be inspirational for a moment, I would like this year’s concert to be able to embrace our inner Scrooges.   Not everyone has large extended families, or colorful Christmas trees in their homes.  Christmas can also be a lonely time for many.  Why should we hide these feelings? I prefer — at least this year — to take my inspiration from Homer’s Illiad rather than some internet guru.  In Homer’s world, anger and frustration were allowed.  Anger is even the honor of being the first word.  As I reflect on 2010, it will be impossible for me to solely focus on joy, even during the concert.  I will be a bit of a Scrooge.  Shit happens.  There will be those that we have lost.  Opportunities missed.  Friendships broken.  We should be able to celebrate the good — and mourn at the same time, not hiding the “negativity” in the a locked closet like a batty uncle, but embracing it as the stuff that makes us human, like the Greeks would, soldiers away from home at war, restless and uneasy with the future.

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word — Anger.

Posted in Life in General | Tagged , , , | 29 Comments

iPhone Notes from Veronica and Di’s Visit

Posted on December 2, 2010 by Neil

Wednesday, November 24

Veronica (V-Grrrl), one of my oldest and dearest blog friends, is coming to Queens this afternoon for Thanksgiving, along with her husband, her two teenage children, and Di Mackey (visiting from Belgium).

My mother and I are waiting for their arrival. Although they said the trip should take five hours coming up from the South, it is now seven hours since they left.   Not unexpected knowing pre-Holiday traffic.

++++

I received a phone call from Veronica’s husband saying that they reached New Jersey.  They assume, based on what their GPS says, that they will reach Queens in forty-five minutes.   I just turned to my mother, who is watching “Judge Judy” on the television, and told her that they arrived in New Jersey.

“OK, it’s going to take them another three hours,” she said.

I agreed, and we laughed.

++++

And we were right!  It took them ten hours to come to Queens.  Veronica’s husband parked the car down the block.   The others stumbled out, their bodies creaky and bent-over from hours in traffic.  Veronica was the last to exit.  I felt a sense of warmth seeing her again, despite her looking like she could use a serious nap.

++++

I have met Veronica and her family in person before (I had visited them last Christmas), but this was my first time meeting Di Mackey. I forgot, that despite her living in Belgium as a photographer, that she was born a Kiwi.  I was surprised to hear her New Zealand accent, with its dusty, rough-and-ready timbre.

After we hugged, she asked me, “And where’s your mum?”

“What?!” I asked, not understanding her question.

“Your mum!”

Funny Kiwis.

++++

Everyone was hungry after their arrival, so I called my mother down from the apartment building, and we walked over to Valentino’s Pizzeria, famous for its shrine to Fran Drescher (“The Nanny”), one of our block’s most famous former residents.

++++

Still at Valentino’s.  Di is fascinated by the large portion of pasta at Valentino’s.   While Veronica and I mock American culture, Di seems to love our country.

“The people are so friendly,” she said.

“Maybe you’re the friendly one.” I said, already noticing how she had immediately started conversations with the waiter and a Chinese woman standing in the street, carrying an umbrella.

She was also “blown away” by her visit with Veronica and her daughter to… Marshall’s at the mall!   Apparently, in Belgium, there are two types of women’s clothing shops — ones that are very expensive and ones completely schlocky. There aren’t stores like TJ Maxx and Marshall’s, where the average woman can buy designer clothes at a discount.

Di mentioned that her new-found enthusiasm for American life got her in trouble with some blog readers back home, who thought she was dissing Belgium with her glowing reviews of Marshall’s and Applebee’s.   After all, asked her friends, wasn’t it the Belgians who really invented the waffle?

++++

We’re back home and I am falling asleep.  A few weeks ago, when I first told my mother that I invited guests over, she wasn’t THAT happy. She was traveling to Florida for the winter a few days after Thanksgiving, and didn’t want to deal with the cooking, etc.    But now she is enjoying herself with the guests.  She is chatting with Veronica and Di as they watch the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

++++

Knowing that my mother was leaving town in a few days, Veronica and Di presented me with a cool — and amusing — gift.    They wrote — by hand — a small cookbook for me, with easy to make recipes.  They also gave me twenty essential McCormick spices to have in the cabinet.  If you follow me on Facebook, you might remember that I once asked a question about the essential spices every cook should have, which caused a minor fight amongst other Facebookers debating the merits of such things as tarragon and cinnamon.

++++

Thursday, November 25

We are in the subway. We woke up at 5AM so we can find a good place to stand at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  Despite growing up in New York, I have never gone to the parade.  Maybe it is the idea of waking up at 5AM that had something to do with it.

When we entered the subway station, it was fun seeing everyone’s confusion over using the Metrocards.  For some reason, Di has compared the NYC subway to the train system in Istanbul!   She is now chatting with this grandmother who is sitting next to her.

Di talks to everyone.

++++

We are on 50th Street.   We got a decent spot.  The parade is in progress.  But the waiting for the parade, and now the standing and watching the parade is tiring.  The event is fun, but it feels like my feet are falling off.

By chance, we picked a spot that couldn’t be more “American” in culture.  We are across the street from

1) an Applebee’s restaurant

2) a huge, building-length billboard for some ultra-violent video game where each game character is holding a shiny phallic gun.

3) some tropical island tourist billboard, where a woman’s bikini is half-falling off.

Surprisingly, this inappropriate billboard is quickly becoming the highlight of the parade for Veronica and her kids.  They are each amusing themselves by trying to photograph each balloon character at the exact moment it floats by the billboard, making the character look like he is trying to grab the woman’s bikini, or just plain sleazy.

I like Veronica’s family!

Photos by V-grrrl –



++++

It is now night. My mother cooked up quite a Thanksgiving dinner. To top it off, Veronica and her family brought three delicious pies from a bakery down South.

++++

It is after dinner and we are now watching the parade on TV that we saw in person earlier in the day.  What a vastly different experience.

First of all, most people on the parade route never see any of the Broadway show routines that they perform for the cameras in front of Macy’s.  Also, the celebrities on the floats, such as Kanye West and Gladys Knight, mostly wave and yawn as they travel down the parade route, reserving their energy for when the camera lights go on.  Sometimes, the floats passed by so fast, you’re not sure who it was that was waving at you.   We just learned from the NBC broadcast that the five clean-cut guys on the Build-a-Bear float were some popular boy band on Nickelodeon!

Even though you see more of the parade on TV, the NBC broadcast has become very cloying and commercial.  Was it better years ago?   Now it seems that they break away from the parade every five minutes so Al Roker could interview — wait, is that a star from one of NBC’s new shows who just “happens” to be standing there on the parade route?!

++++

Friday, November 26

We’re back in the subway this morning, this time to Battery Park to take the boat to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.


My photo of Ellis Island (via iPhone)

+++

Today, it is Di’s day to shine. I am watching how she takes her photos. She has such an eye for detail.

Here’s an example in one of her photos from Ellis Island.

++++

We have returned to Queens.  Veronica’s husband just found out that he got a $70 parking ticket because he misread one of New York’s many confusing parking enforcement tickets. He is a little mad at himself for making the mistake.  I am telling him that rather than feeling upset, he should consider getting this overpriced parking ticket the most authentically New York experience that he will have this entire weekend.

++++

We just ate dinner.  Why do leftovers always taste better?

++++

After dinner, we were using my mother’s laptop to show each other various funny videos from YouTube.  I remembered that there was a parody version of the song, “Empire State of Mind,” titled “Forest Hills State of Mind,” which prominently showcases the Queens subway stop at 71st Street and Continental Avenue, which is where we caught the E train each day en route to Manhattan.  I thought I would amuse everyone by showing it.

OK, now remember, I don’t have kids.  So it didn’t even occur to me that this video, filled with references to motherf*ckers and other NSFW items, might not have been been the best Holiday video for the entire family.  From now on, I’ll remember to check the ratings before I show Veronica’s family any videos!  (Yeah, like photographing Thanksgiving Day balloon as sleazy characters is “normal” family behavior.)

++++

Di wants to take some photos of me.   She tells me to stop mugging and “look natural.”


by Di Mackey

++++

Saturday, November 27

My guests are going home later today in order to avoid the big traffic on Sunday.  We are at the Dominican Diner having breakfast.

A few moments ago, Di ordered a bagel, saying that she hadn’t yet tasted a “real New York bagel.” My mother and I exchanged glances.  Both of us know that the bagels at the diner are terrible, probably from the supermarket.  My mother gestured to me, as if to say, “Eh, don’t tell her, and she won’t know the difference. Why ruin the moment for her.”

++++

She loved the crappy bagel.

++++

I just said good-bye to everyone, hugging Veronica, Di, and Veronica’s daughter.   I have been feeling a little lonely since leaving LA.  Their visit was just what I needed.

Posted in Life in General, New York City | Tagged , , | 18 Comments

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade 2010

Posted on November 27, 2010 by Neil

Posted in New York City | Tagged | 17 Comments

Blogging Manifesto for 2011

Posted on November 21, 2010 by Neil

Lyrics + Translation

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying ay-oh, gotta let go.
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying ay-oh, baby let’s go.
(Let’s get this party started; this is what I believe here at Citizen of the Month.)

I-I-I-I-I-I
I came to dance-dance-dance-dance
(I see blogging as an artistic personal expression.)

I hit the floor cause that’s my plans plans plans plans
(and my plan involves nurturing my writing and interacting with like-minded people.)

I’m wearing all my favorite brands brands brands brands
(while I have issues with the term “branding,” I am coming to see the importance of it.)

Give me some space for both my hands hands hands hands.
Yeah, yeah.
(while I am respectful of all the women around me in the blogging community, if a romantic opportunity would occur, and the woman was single, and if it was consensual, I would not feel guilty if I used my hands to feel up some blogger under her sweater, or to make out with her, say at a BlogHer Christmas party or after a Tweet-up; while not my main motivation for blogging, there is nothing wrong with that.)

Cause it goes on and on and on.
And it goes on and on and on.
Yeah.
(life is short. I learned that this year with Sophia’s parents. so stop waiting; be proactive with life.)

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying ay-oh, gotta let go.
(there will be times I might go overboard in some post, or be offensive, but it is OK. I am a “writer,” not a journalist.)

I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying ay-oh, baby let’s go.
(because part of life is exploring all sides of one’s life, even the weird, or the sad, or the bad.)

Cause we gon’ rock this club
We gon’ go all night
We gon’ light it up
Like it’s dynamite.
(cause if I’m not gon’ explore my life, why waste my time writing online when there are so many other things to do, like knitting or playing golf?)

Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gon’ light it up
Like it’s dynamite
(my voice has the power of TNT. so does yours! most “influential” bloggers realize this, and don’t want to tell you the truth; they hide behind “lists.”)

I came to move move move move
Get out the way of me and my crew crew crew crew
(I will try to better nurture the friendships of my “crew” next year, because being friends with 3000 people on Twitter and Facebook is ultimately unsatisfying, and even lonely at times, and it is also dumb to waste time wondering why someone is not following me or unfollowed me when I have so many other friends who DO care about me.)

I’m in the club so I’m gonna do do do do
Just what the fuck came here to do do do do
Yeah, yeah
(be confident. don’t worry so much about what others think of me.)

Cause it goes on and on and on.
And it goes on and on and on.
Yeah.
(cause life don’t stop for NOBODY.)

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying ay-oh, gotta let go.
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying ay-oh, baby let’s go.
Cause we gon rock this club
We gon’ go all night
We gon’ light it up
Like it’s dynamite.
Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gon light it up
Like it’s dynamite.
(be a light onto others. Be inspirational, but not in a phony pre-packaged way where I’m hiding my true personality.)

I’m gonna take it all like
I’m gonna be the last one standing
I’m alone and all I
I’m gonna be the last one landing.
(sure, it is sad when your friends stop blogging, or focus more on their book deals or go “professional.” everyone has a different path. I need to find my own.)

Cause I-I-I believe it
And I-I-I, I just want it all, I just want it all.
I’m gonna put my hands in the air
Ha-hands hands in the air
Put your hands in the air-air-air-air-air-air-air-air
(why not WANT IT ALL? what am I afraid of? good writing, a little attention, some money and fame, a hot babe in a sweater!)

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying ay-oh, gotta let go.
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying ay-ooh, baby let’s go.
Cause we gon rock this club
We gon’ go all night
We gon’ light it up
Like it’s dynamite,
Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gon’ light it up
Like it’s dynamite
(WORD.)

Posted in Blogging and the Internet | Tagged , | 21 Comments

Announcing the Fifth Annual Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert!

Posted on November 14, 2010 by Neil


photo by Lotus at Sarcastic Mom

Dear God,

For four years we raised our voices in harmony, men and women of faith, and unbelievers alike (even with their dreary myths about dinosaurs and evolution), all in praise of the unity of man!

For four years, bloggers powerful and insignificant, those blessed with voices like angels and those who sound like Kermit the Frog, the confident and the theologically-confused, all came together to promote peace and harmony and love.  But when we look around our world, even after all our hard work, all we see is fighting and killing.

Are you not pleased with our songs and our delightful photos of our decorated trees, bright menorahs, and our cats wearing Santa hats?  Has our mission been a failure?  Are you telling us that our voices are not LOUD ENOUGH for you, that you are like the LA Lakers at the Staples Center, requiring us to stamp our feet and clap our hands, shouting, “We will, we will ROCK YOU!” just to get your attention?

I don’t know if I can promise you all that, oh, Creator of the Universe.  Bloggers are a tempestuous and a stiff-necked people.  But I do know we will be back for a Fifth time, in this familiar place,  bringing joy to others — and hopefully YOU — with our songs and photos and poetry, proving once and for all that we can be nice to each other, for at least one week out of the year!

And for 2010, we have a special treat.   Besides celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, we will be adding The Islamic New Year of Al-Hijira to the mix. (Arabic: رأس السنة الهجرية‎ Ras as-Sana al-Hijreya).  The Fifth annual concert will be renamed –  The 2010 Blogger Christmalhijrahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert.

Imagine, all three of your major Monotheistic Religions, all with roots in the dusty Middle East, all singing each others’ songs!  You should be kvelling, God!

This year’s concert will be on Wednesday, December 15, 2010, right here on this space.   I realize that this is date is too early for Christmas and little late for the Jewish and Muslim holidays, but Hanukkah and Al-Hijira are early this year (starting the first week of December), so all three religions will need to compromise.  It will be good practice for the real world.

See you there,  God!   Arrive early for a good seat.   There are no favorites online.

Bloggers FAQ:

You make an audio file or a video file of you performing a holiday song.  If you don’t know how to do that, ask me.

You must be performing in the audio or video.  Don’t cheat and just have your cute kids doing all the work.  They can perform back-up.

You can sing, play an instrument, recite poetry, or even dance the Nutcracker.  We even once had someone playing a Christmas Carole on her iPhone.

You can post it on your blog and send me the link, or you can send me the file, and I will publish it on my blog.  If you don’t want to sing a Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Islamic New Year song, feel free to send me a holiday photo of your tree, menorah, or plain ol’ winter solstice if you are a heathen blogger.

Please sign up in the comments.   This is the official sign-up sheet.  You don’t have to do it today, but add your name as soon as possible.  This way we we know who is performing what, so we can avoid having ten versions of “Frosty the Snowman.”

Don’t be afraid that you can’t sing.  Those are the favorite songs of each concert, because we like to laugh at you.

Try to get me all the files by December 13, 2010, two days before the concert!

You can check out what has been done in the past.

2006

2007

2008

2009

Come join the celebration in this tradition that is already as well known as Burl Ives –  the longest-running holiday concert online — The 2010 Blogger Christmalhijrahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert!

And remember to tell your friends.

Posted in Blogging and the Internet | Tagged | 101 Comments

Forever 13

Posted on November 13, 2010 by Neil

Today, I’m attending the bar mitzvah of the son of one of my closest friends.  This got me curious to go look at the photos from my own bar mitzvah.  As I looked at this photo of this thirteen year old boy, a somewhat disdainful look on his face, I thought about my last post, and how I was going to change myself into being a less moralistic person, looking at only the good in life and society-at-large.  But now I wonder if my character is just etched in the DNA, and I should accept my need to kvetch.

Posted in Life in General | 15 Comments

Moralistic Me

Posted on November 12, 2010 by Neil

I’m more moralistic than you would expect. I’m easy-going and non-judgmental on a personal level, but when it comes to groups, I’m like an 19th Century hermetic crackpot who spends years writing a tract about the perfect society, and then gets pissed when no one follows the plan.

During my years blogging, I’ve been a crank at times about “the blogosphere,” as if it was a blueprint for an ideal virtual world where everyone is someone interesting and deserves to have a voice, bitching about cliques and BlogHer and blog networks and gender roles and branding and blog lists and blog widgets and self-promotion and monetization and advertising and integrity and authenticity and photographic manipulation and promotions and conferences and giveaways and even “blogging” itself — pretty much everything else that we all now do and believe on a regular basis without anyone giving any thought to it.

It’s not going to be easy for me, because my basic personality is as ingrained as King Arthur’s Sword in the Stone, but I’m going to try to focus more on my own writing and my own actions, and less on what YOU do. I will be a happier person because of this. When I think about you, I want to visualize you as goodhearted individuals, each trying to do his best for himself and his family, and not as a mob molding a Golden Calf out of melted Etsy jewelry and fornicating with camels, while I’m stuck on the cold mountain, my beard gray and dusty, waiting patiently for the Ten Commandments to be faxed from the main office, missing out on all the fun.

Community is a good thing, but it can also be the source of our unhappiness. I want to remember, that both online, and in real life, the individual relationship always come first, before any grand ideology about the community-at-large, no matter how idealistic the genesis. I need to do a lot of work on myself before I attempt to mold any of you into my image. Because even God did a pretty bad job with that one.

Posted in Blogging and the Internet, Life in General | Tagged | 7 Comments