First a post about sadness, now sleep.Â Can he get any more boring?
Hold on a minute.Â I think we should write more about sleep.Â Think about it.Â We sleep for 1/3 of our lives.Â If we live to a hundred years of age, that means we slept forÂ thirty-three years (ok, thirty-three and a third).Â The woman at Bagel Stop in Redondo Beach is thirty-threeÂ years old.Â I know that because I recently heard her tell her friend, “Woo-hoo, I’m thirty-three today!Â Are you coming to the Cheesecake Factory tonight with Joey for the party?”Â On that same day as her birthday, somewhere else in Los Angeles, an elderly man turned a hundred years old.Â He had slept through the bagel woman’s entire life.
We like to tell stories about action, not sleep.Â We climb mountains, we kill whales, we buy video games, we love.Â We write about sex.Â But sex is small potatoes compared to sleep.Â Even if we had sex every single night for our entire lives, which in my experience lasts about… uh, eight minutes a pop, that means that if we live to a hundred, we have only spent 8 minutes x 356 days x 100 years having sex, which equals…Â well, just take my word for it… it is less thanÂ the time we sleep.Â Â Â I’m just too sleepy to do the equation.
Yes, I’m sleepy.Â Exhausted.Â I can’t wait to go to sleep.Â
Should I be embarrassed to tell you, my dear reader, that I want to go to sleep?Â It does feel a little funny.Â It’s an area that we usually keep off-screen, like Meryl Streep sitting on a toilet in a movie.
I’d like to take sleep out of the closet for one day.Â
Years ago, poets compared sleep to death, and maybe that has scared us from talking about it.Â Sleep is the absence of action.Â It looks like we are dead to the world.Â A lot of people actually DO die in their sleep.Â People have nightmares.Â Children want the lights on.Â Sleep can be creepy.
But it’s time to take the reaper out of the sleeper!Â
I see sleep as food for the brain.Â If the day sucked, there’s always tomorrow.Â Sleep refreshes you.Â If it was a good day, a good night’s sleep is a reward for your accomplishment.Â
Sleep is your friend.Â I don’t usually remember my dreams, but I’m sure they are good ones.Â I’m sure there are a lot of hot women in my dreams every night.Â I know this for sure — in my dreams, the sex always lasts for longer than eight minutes.
Good night.Â Sweet dreams.