the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Haircut Day!

Can you think of anything more self-absorbed than showing people your haircut?   Can you think of an easier blog post to write?  Can you think of a surer way to get Whoorl to comment on this blog? Can you think of a weirder hair salon than one where after the haircut is finished, the stylist unexpectedly massages your shoulder for five minutes with one of those electric gizmos from Sharper Image, scaring the shit out of you (it’s one of their “gimmicks” so they can charge ten bucks more than Supercuts)?  Is there anything more satisfying to a man as watching a nice-smelling woman with really nice breasts washing your hair?  Is there any doubt that I left a 35% tip?  Was it stupid to have spent the whole cut talking about my “wife” and how she hated my messy hair?  Will I ever get laid again?  When am I moving out of this house and getting my life in gear?  Will I ever be done outlining this screenplay?  Should I go to New York for Passover?  Is Obama really experienced enough to be President?  Will there ever be peace in the Middle East?

The before shot (bohemain, but shaggy)  This cut says that I’m irresponsible and poor, but wild in bed.


The after shot (boring, but clean-cut).  Now I am an accountant.  Which is ironic, since I haven’t even touched this year’s taxes.  I was going for a sarcastic, David Sedaris-look, but not sure I got it.  My mouth just looks crooked.


Sophia got a haircut too.   Her haircut is better.  But she spent more on it.  We are looking into the bathroom mirror, standing in front of our toilet.  We have a pretty cool toilet seat in this bathroom, with seashells embedded in the glass and drawings of fish.  The toilet seat makes you think of the beach when you are sitting there.  I asked Sophia if I could take a photo of it so you could see it, but she said “no.” 


Now, was that a POST — or what?!


  1. Annika

    There is very little that is as satisfying to a woman as watching a nice-smelling woman with really nice breasts washing your hair.

  2. Nat

    See whatyou do is make your readers beg to see it, then you get two posts out the deal.

    My dad used to say that about getting his hair cut. This only creeps me out slightly.

  3. Angella

    I’m pooping daisies today, so I would love! to have a toilet seat that makes me think of the beach.

  4. churlita

    Great new looks. I actually did love this post. I like the seemingly mundane in people’s lives and love bathroom photos.

  5. SAJ

    I predict lots of comments on this post! I love your hair both ways…. but DUDE, you need a new computer! Maybe one with a cute little apple on it. Chicks dig that.

  6. Carolyn B.

    Funny writing, and the spiffy new haircut beats the bed-rumpled shaggy look hands down. :o)

  7. 180/360

    Looks good! I think you should definitely spike it a little bit. 🙂

  8. Neil

    In case anyone cares, I went here —

  9. kapgar

    I’ll tell you what it is… a pre and post! Get it? Oh, I’m too clever!

  10. MammaLoves

    But you guys look so happy in the picture.

  11. Sarcomical

    the mop! it is gone.
    bye, mop.

    ooh, muss up the front. i always like my husband’s hair better when he does that and makes it stand up a little crazy.

    p.s. could sophia be ANY cuter? no.

  12. LVGurl

    I don’t know, I kinda like Shaggy Neil.

  13. Tuck

    So, if you do come to New York, I highly recommend Chinatown haircuts. Good cut, less expensive, and always a happy ending.

  14. Neil

    LvGurl –I agree. I feel less sexy. Like when Samson cut his hair, all his power disappeared.

  15. DaveX

    There’s nobody in my area that does a proper shave anymore– you’re a lucky guy!

  16. Annie

    I love both versions and Sophia’s hair looks great. I want a photo of that toilet seat,please Sophia, please!

  17. Noelle

    I thought this was going to be just another boring haircut post, but then you started talking about toilets, and I was like, Wow! I’m so glad I just added this guy to my RSS feed!

  18. -RM

    I prefer the shaggy look. Sophia looks awesome. Both haircuts came out good. Nice post indeed!

  19. sizzle

    I kinda love haircut photo posts. Maybe that’s why I always do them?

    You both look smashing!

  20. Dagny

    I dunno. I kind of prefer the before picture. The last one was OK, but that may have been a result of Sophia’s presence in the photo.

  21. fringes

    It’ll grow back. Next time maybe just a little trim?

  22. PocketCT

    Nice do! and to Sophia as well!

  23. blackbird

    Shaving is good too.

  24. Catheroo

    Aw. I liked it shaggy. But I like it short too. I’m a flip-flopper that way.
    And I love my shampoo “girl” but not because of her boobs. She gives great head…massages.

  25. Neil

    How come women like other men looking shaggy, but want their OWN men looking clean-cut? Hypocrites.

  26. Kyra

    You know… I kinda think the shaggy-you is rather bohemian sexy. I like the short cut too… but I think I’m partial to the long.

    Sophia looks absolutely lovely.

  27. alissa

    You two look hot! Love the haircuts!

  28. Hilly

    Oh geez, I must be 100% self-obsessed because I make people vote on things like my hair color!

    I love the haircut…lookin’ gooood.

  29. Kathy

    Count me among your “shaggy Neil” admirers.

  30. the slackmistress

    My husband used to get slapped around my his hairstylist:

    Alas, now it’s a Floyd’s-type place for him. I cut and color my own, because I’m cheap particular.

  31. Jill - GlossyVeneer

    Thanks for calling me self-absorbed. I’ve written about haircuts many a time. 😉

    Plus, if you were to TRULY look like an accountant, you’d have even thinner hair. Oh, and video would be necessary to show the twitching around your eyes by this point in the year. At least, that’s what my husband looks like now.

    Honestly, you guys both look great!

  32. V-Grrrl

    Lyle Lovett has a crooked mouth and wild hair and Julia Roberts was a FOOL to let him go. A fool.

    I like shaggy hair on men AND women. It’s a way of sticking it to the Man, unleashing an inner rebel that refuses to live with everything in its place. Life is messy. Hair should not be perfect.

  33. Shannon

    Very nice. You sorta got an Alan Rickman thing going in after photo.

  34. Karl

    I thought you looked totally rocking and artsy with the mussed hair look. The new look is okay, but yeah, definitely accounting looks like it’s in your genes.

  35. whoorl

    I like #1. I like #2. I’m not a fan of #3.

    What exactly transpired between last two photos? A nap? Some humidity?

  36. Neil

    Well, the good thing about short hair is that you don’t even need to ever brush or comb it. It just is. I might try bald next.

  37. abigail road

    I’m all for shaggy hair. But you look great either way.

  38. Pants

    Fabulous haircuts!

    Am I the only one who’s now dying to see your toilet? Well, I’m certainly the only one who’s dying to see your toilet and too lazy to read the other comments.

  39. claire

    Lookin’ good, the both of you. I know it’s sacrilege to say so, but I disagree with Whoorl. I like #3 better than #2.

    I’m pretty shaggy myself these days. Was thinking of getting a cut this week but making a post out of it hadn’t occurred to me.

  40. better safe than sorry

    nice do, sophia is gorgeous as always. the barber my son goes to always gives him a courtesy massage with that thingy and also a quick shave. i’m definitely under tipping.

  41. Bec

    You may think you look like an accountant – but then you are an accountant who is a secret gigolo super hero at night – won’t it be easier getting the mask on and off now?!

  42. Mattie

    Sophia is wrong! You are sooooooo much cuter with the mess. Seriously…love it!

    The cut? Not so much.

    Neil, you’re so much hawter with longer hair … sort of mysterious, almost genius looking.

    Don’t listen to Sophia! I think she’s trying to prevent you from EVER getting laid again. Ever. Again.

    Seriously. Hawt. Mop.

  43. Miguelina

    Totally hot!

    (You too, Neil. But I like the mop.)

  44. Ellen Bloom

    I vote for haircut and shave. Unless you have hair like Fabio, the short, clean and neat-do looks best.

    I always take a photo of recent my recent haircuts, especially if they turn out great. THEN, I can bring the photo with me to the hairdresser next time and tell them to do EXACTLY the same haircut. Good luck with that!

  45. Dagny

    I’m not a hypocrite. If I had a man, he’d be shaggy.

  46. Long Story Longer

    I love the haircut! You both look great. And I love this post. It sounds like the inside of my brain, but speed it up and put it on a loop.

  47. femme_despoir

    Cute. But I really like the messy look on you.

  48. teahouseblossom

    You both look very handsome. I especially like hers..very cute and bobb-ish!

  49. melanie

    bring back your shaggy hair! :pouts:

    nice cut sophia!

  50. Stacey

    Neil, you look great, but personally I loved the shaggy cut. A great mop of hair makes me want to run my fingers through it.

    Sophia looks gorgeous, as always.

  51. Rob O.

    Dunno who David Sedaris is – I’m thinking Donald Sutherland.

  52. Atomic Bombshell

    I think your haircut looks great!

  53. gorillabuns

    I like your hair either way.

  54. Nina

    Oh my God you are so cute.

  55. piglet

    who/what is whoorl and why do you care? i guess i’ll have to wander over and see what the fuss is. sophia is beautiful in this photo, she’s like a goddess. how lucky are you

  56. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    ha, I made sure people VOTED on my hair just like Whoorl.

    And you look great.

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