babies Archives - Citizen of the Month

This week’s Poetry Thursday assignment was to read your poem out loud. I read my poem to a few women in my neighborhood, and they all hated it. For some reason, it made me like it even more.

Everybody Loves a Baby

Everybody loves a baby
That’s the title of this piece
I heard this conversation (maybe)
While visiting my niece:

“Look at my little Beatrice
Isn’t she a gem?
She’s really quite angelic
She’ll surely voting Dem.

Her hair’s just like the hubby’s,
So fiery and red.
And don’t you love the Yankees cap
That’s sitting on her head?”

Now, as I watched this drama
I bit my lower lip.
I prayed for the overpriced stroller
To hit a rock and flip.

You see: I hate all babies,
And I mean every single tot!
All they’re really good for
Is dripping yucky snot.

That Beatrice, she looked stupid
I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.
And in that NY Yankees cap
She was ugly as Babe Ruth.

Babies are like homeless
They beg and beg for more
They don’t pay any taxes
They puke all over the floor.

I know I sound grouchy
With this tantrum, with my snit.
But my mother gave me formula
And this little brat gets tit.

If the status symbol of having many children isn’t motivating your wife to have more sex with you, here’s another way to motivate her:

Politics

An article from website, The American Vision: "Equipping and Empowering Christians to Restore America’s Biblical Foundation titled Whoever Has the Most Babies Wins doesn’t beat around the bush (hey, that’s almost a triple pun): more babies equals more conservative Christians:

Homosexuals do not have children; heterosexuals do. Those who support abortion generally have fewer children than those who oppose abortion. Christians are having more children than non-Christians. If these trends continue, America will see a demographic shift in terms of who has the most children. Liberals are on the losing side of this battle. Birth control, abortion on demand, and the homosexual lifestyle have built-in, self-limiting mechanisms. As the Bible says, they will not make further progress for their folly will be obvious to all (2 Tim. 3:9)…

There is a great opportunity here for Christians. Have more babies, encourage your friends to have more babies, start schools to educate this growing generation of young people, and then listen to the cries of "We’re melting. . . We’re melting" from the diminishing leftist worldview.

Christian conservatives have thrown down the gauntlet.

Come on, liberals! Get off your bony asses and stop reading that New York Times! It’s time to have more sex!