Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Am I Enough?

i_am_enough

I don’t think I’m enough. You don’t think I’m enough. But you constantly say that I am enough.  Enough for what? Sure, I can photoshop myself into that Ellen’s selfie from the Oscars, but does that make me enough. 99% of us will never win an Oscar. Meryl Streep will never follow us on Twitter. How can we be enough?

oscars

But I’ll try it on for size. I am enough. Right now. I am worthy. It’s not going to change anyone’s opinion of me. So why bother?

I am enough. Will it change me? My own perception of who I am? Don’t I first have to accomplish something great to feel worthy? And what does feeling worthy change in me? That I deserve things like love, happiness, and non-fat milk in my coffee at McDonald’s? That I am as worthy as President Obama? Am I? If the ship was sinking and only one of us could escape in the lifeboat, do you want me to survive or President Obama?

I am enough. I am enough. Vulnerability. Authenticity. I don’t know what any of this means. Is it only talk for women about their body image?

enough?

I am enough. I know some of you are mocking this post. Because I am too. Even though I am being serious. Authentic. Even though no one really respects authentic.  No one wants vulnerable.

15 Comments

  1. Again. You over think. You look too closely. Anyone and everyone fails upon “close examination”. It’s called “being human”. All you need to know is that you’re doing the best you can. Really. You have to be able to say to yourself, “I am doing the best I can” and know that it’s good enough. You can always work to do better – you can learn and you can aspire to higher achievement – but what you are, who you are, and what you do, is “enough”.

  2. I like the message of I’m enough but it won’t settle on me-I can’t wear it. I’m always going to be pushing to be more. “I’m enough” feels like a rest.I get why it’s a good thing but I wouldn’t know where to even begin with that. Sorry,your post caught me on a churning mind day.

  3. sometimes the phrase “I am enough” is the only thing that gets me through a day of harsh self-criticism, of never-quite-doing-it-right. So many people in my life feel free to let me know all the ways I could have done it better, done more, addressed one more thing on the To-Do list, and when that cacophony of voices becomes overwhelming – paralyzing even – the only response that keeps me sane is repeating, INSISTING to myself that it’s ok. I am enough – strong enough, smart enough, compassionate enough – for this exact moment. Doesn’t mean there AREN’T things I could be doing better and/or smarter. It just means that for right now, I am the person I am and that has to be enough for right now. For the record, I don’t think it has very much to do with body image at all. For me, it’s more to do with conquering the inner voices that tell you that what you are is *not enough.* And whether or not you believe it, there are many people who value & are grateful for your willingness to be vulnerable, serious, and honest. They just may not be the most visible.

  4. I rarely take the time to recognize that I am enough. There’s always a message coming at us to climb the ranks higher, get published by ” “, be one size smaller. Yes, Neil yes.

  5. Being enough takes practice. It means doing your best and accepting that it is your best in that moment. It’s about striving to be better, but accepting progress instead of perfection. It’s about, ultimately, acceptance. It’s about knowing that no matter what you accomplish, no matter how many followers you have, no matter how much money and fame you have, it will never make you enough. You have to be enough first, without anything.

  6. oh, definitely save you. obama’s had a good run, he can share some of the good fortune once in a while. 🙂

  7. In this scenario, is Obama still President? Because I think it would destabilize the world too much for him to die, so I’d have to rescue him. However, if he’s no longer President, you.

  8. While the majority of those who wonder this question aloud (Am I enough?) are women, I suspect that the same number of men wonder it, too. Women, in general — not a blanket statement– focus on body image, being a good mom, partner, daughter, whatever. Men are oppressed by a whole other set of of social ideals: money, fame, glory, prowess. The point of telling yourself that you’re enough is rejecting that those expectations on the part of society are a false measure of assessing your worth in the unfolding of the universal reality. Oh, Neil. You are enough and so am I. You are enough of a human to matter. Your existence makes a difference and that difference, though it may be microscopic in the span of human history, is your part to play and it is a necessary part. That’s what that means. Can you tell I’ve been reading Deepak Chopra. I even did the Indian accent in my head while I typed this comment.

  9. Sometimes you have to turn off the world and just be because the noise is deafening.

  10. So…..do you always sleep with your glasses on?

  11. I always feeling like being “enough” is settling, and settling is for losers. It’s something I’m trying desperately to change, mostly because it’s exhausting to reach a goal and think, “Meh, still not good enough.”

  12. I don’t know if I even know when enough is enough, so I’m probably screwed. I know doing things like watching the Oscars and scrolling through my Facebook news feed doesn’t promote the “enough” feeling. But maybe it’s just something we have to decide for ourselves and THAT has to be enough.

  13. The truth is everyone really does want vulnerable, even though it scares them sometimes. That’s why blogs are so popular.

    I have trouble distinguishing between having ambition versus feeling like I am enough. If I walk around feeling satisfied will I stop trying to be better at…everything? Will I just watch TV and eat m&m’s? Can I be enough and still want to be more?

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