the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Junior High School Girls Talking about Miley Cyrus


Tracey and Judy meet outside their junior high school on the first day of school.

Tracey:  “Hi, Jody!”

Jody:  “Hi, Tracey!  How was your summer?”

Tracey:  “It was great.”

Cindy comes over to them, waving hello.

Cindy:  “Hey, guys?  Did you see Miley Cyrus at the VMA awards?  What did you think?”

Tracey:  “Lame.  I didn’t even watch it until later.   I was busy preparing for this year’s algebra class.

Cindy:  “Before school even began?”

Tracey:  “Yeah.  I so want to get into Yale after high school.”

Jody:   “I didn’t watch it at all.  I have no time for mindless fluff.  I spent my summer volunteering at a homeless shelter downtown.”

Cindy:  “I hear you.  The whole show was boring.  I just had it on in the background while reading about Syria in the Sunday Times Week in Review.”

Tracey:   “I don’t get what the whole big deal about that performance was all about.  It’s not like because of some celebrity that I’m suddenly gonna walk around sticking a big finger up my hoo-hah.  I’m not an idiot.”

Jody:  “TV is soooo stupid.”

Tracey:   “I know.  I’m kinda worried about my mom.  She watches TV all the time.  Such crap.  With such bad values.  You ever see any of those Real Housewives shows?”

Jody:  “OMG!  Such bitches.  My mother watches that crap too!   I’m so glad our generation would never act like that.”

Tracey:  “Sometimes I just wish my mother would read a book instead.  By someone good, like Joyce Carol Oates.”

Cindy:  “My mother watches this other TV show.  On cable.  I forget what it’s called.  It’s really disgusting.  About the old days when everyone was really sexist in the advertising business and there were no people of color.   And the main character is a total sleaze and shitty to women, and get this — my mom has the total hots for him.”

Tracey:   “It’s like our parents have no morals anymore.”

Jody:   “You think that’s bad.  My mom’s favorite shows is about a teacher who deals in meth.”

Tracey:  “My mother watches this show where the lead guy is a serial killer!”

Cindy:  “What ever happened to the wholesome shows for adult, like Happy Days and the Love Boat?  What’s wrong with adults today?”

Tracey:  “It’s like so sad.   Adults don’t want to admit to being responsible adults anymore.   I especially hate they they want to listen to our music.   Read books for young adults.”

Jody:  “My parents are totally gross.  One weekend they downloaded this entire show from HBO about these pampered young women in Manhattan — like twenty years younger than them — who just curse and have anal sex.  This is called entertainment?”

Tracey:  “Gross.”

Cindy starts to cry.

Tracey:  “What’s the matter, Cindy?  Are you alright?”

Cindy:   “I don’t want to talk about this topic any more.  It’s too shameful.  I try to be a good person.  To respect my parents.  To look up to them as people I want to emulate.  But how can I ever do that when I see them watching that sick weirdo medieval throne fantasy show every week — the one with so much violence, nudity, and rape.  And they LIKE IT!  I can’t even look at my parents anymore at the breakfast table.  It’s like they’re perverts.”

Jody:   “I know.   I know.  All our parents are like this nowadays.   They’ve lost their way morally.”

Tracey:   “Listen, guys.  We need to stick together.  We need to focus on school, and not let our parents drag us down into their cesspool of perversion.   If they want to watch this junk, we can’t stop them.  But we can be better than they are!”

The Principal walks towards the school.

Cindy:  “Oh, there’s Principal Andrews.  It’s time for another school year!  Thank God we are finally away from our parents.”

Jody moves closer to her two friends, whispering in their ears.

Jody:  “Listen, I don’t know if I should tell you this, but in July I was at the mall and I saw Principal Andrews there with his wife and kids.  And he was dressed very casually, like we never see him at school.  And he was wearing a ratty t-shirt promoting that horrible old rap group N.W.A. from our parent’s day, the one with the repugnant anti-social lyrics!”

Tracey and Cindy:  “Ewwwwww!”


  1. Shannon akaMonty

    Best. Post. Evar.

  2. Alexandra

    Man, how I love when you write dialogue.

    Also, CLICK. The joy of your sidebar ad.

  3. Maura

    I liked this so much that I’m going to go home and read it again on my laptop, just so I can click through your ad. It doesn’t show on the mobile site, darn it!

  4. Jane

    Excellent. Bravo, Neil.

  5. Loukia

    I love this, Neil. Love your writing.

  6. Elizabeth Aquino

    Thumbs up.

  7. Estelle Sobel Erasmus

    Love the reverse look at how us “adults” are dealing with Miley. So profound.

  8. Kizz

    It’s true, teenagers really do know more than adults.

  9. Kerstin @ Auer Life

    1. I can finally see the ad on your blog, so this is very comforting to me; I was really worried, because even though I used all the browsers and turned off all the ad blockers I could not see it yesterday. Phew.
    2. That’s exactly what I 16 year-old daughter said. For realz. I even had to write it down on my blog.

  10. Marcy

    I really really love this.

  11. Amelia Williams

    This post is amazing. 🙂 I have to admit that at senior match, I watch these shows about serial killers and about biker gangs and all types of other ruffians and the like. I didn’t catch the VMAs, though. Your line about Happy Days and the Love Boat is absolutely perfect!

  12. Stasha

    Love it Neil. But the girls names are not happening. I hope my son is upstairs right now prepping for Yale 😉

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