the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Blog Held Hostage: First Update

I’m allowed to change my mind.  Rather than stop writing on my blog, as I mentioned on my last post, I can USE my writing space as a public record of how I am dealing with these five seemingly simple, but actually extremely difficult, tasks that I placed at the tip of my own feet.

I’m not sure how often I will update this, or whether the ongoing plot will be of interest to anyone other than myself.  Be prepared for a very slowly-paced story.  Most of the drama is internal.  I will not veer from the subject at hand until the dragon is slayed, and the fair maiden trapped in the tower cleverly ties together several of her bras to form a sturdy rope in which I can use to climb to the window and rescue her.

1) I have set up a date for when I am traveling to Los Angeles, and moving my stuff from Sophia’s place.

I have taken no action in this at all. But I expect a phone call FROM Sophia, once she reads my blog, very very soon.

2) Decided in which city I’m going to live.

This is a tough one.   Nothing.

3)  Sat across from an available woman — for at least an hour — in real life, and flirted with her.

Jason Mayo invited me to his office St. Patrick’s Day Party today on Facebook. When I looked at the guest list on his Facebook page, I noticed MANY available women had RSVPed.  Unfortunately, I had to be home to get an important phone call from someone in Los Angeles at the same time as the party during Pacific Standard Time.  Now I know — and you know — that if I really wanted to go to this party to flirt with a woman for at least an hour, I could have devised a plan.   Did I wimp out, fearful of going to a party where I hardly know a person?  That’s your call.

4) Made a decision on my next writing project.


5) Exercised for at least three days in a row.

Not yet.  BUT, I spend an hour going through the Exercise TV programs they broadcast ON DEMAND with Time Warner Cable.  I am going to attempt to do Cardioke (or Kardioke?) with Billy Blanks son, Billy Blanks Jr., a “high energy” exercise which combines dance moves while singing up-tempo Karaoke songs, like those from the Black Eyed Peas.  I know it sounds rather ridiculous, and I would off myself if a video of me doing this exercise ever made it onto YouTube, but it looks EXTREMELY exhausting, but not as crazy as that Shredding military dictatorship routine.


  1. OneZenMom

    I think this is a smashing idea. If blogging about your goals can give you some external motivation, or even just make the journey a little easier for you, then I say, use it! Best of luck to you in your quests, Sir Knight.

  2. Stay At Home Babe

    If you jump into the Shred, you’ll hurt like hell for three or four days and then you’ll feel better and better every day. You should think about it. And it’s way less stupid-feeling than karaoke kickboxing, or whatever :).

  3. Michele

    Good idea. Be prepared for lots of votes about what you should do and how you should do it. That’ll make the neuroses even more fun to watch. 😉

  4. unmitigated me

    I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away. Regarding number two: open up your options. You are a writer, Neil. You work from your home. Why does it have to be in one of the two most expensive places in the country? Come to Detroit. You can get a house for a song here.

  5. DrLori71

    Thank goodness you didn’t quit blogging! If you had quit, I never would have know that ON DEMAND has an exercise channel. I had no idea! That’s what happens when all you use ON DEMAND for is to watch Spongebob Squarepants.
    Good luck with your goals!

  6. wendy

    I came over cuz I saw a horse.. you know me….

    Today is the day to flirt…the whole kiss me I’m irish drunken mash fest.

    And OH PLEASE post you Cardioke ing on youtube. i would pay money..small see that!

  7. amy turn sharp

    it’s progress! xo

  8. Slow Panic

    These don’t seem like simple goals to me — but definitely good ones. You’ll get there, just keep at it.

  9. Faiqa

    I’m not sure if we know each other well enough for me to say this, but… deep breath… Neil, you are in the most enviable position of creating exactly the life you want in a relatively unencumbered manner. Go to the darn parties, pick a city (I’d pick Chicago), and do something moderately, if not totally, and extraordinarily fun. Please.

    Be Italian. (I don’t know what that means, but it seems to fit.)

    Sorry if that was too much.

    PS, Don’t move to Orlando. It will kill your soul. And make you randomly start lecturing people in the comments section of their blog.

  10. Amanda

    So I have some advice on the next writing project. I’ve recently found out that you can self publish novels, novellas, etc., on kindle and the pay out looks decent, not that I’d know what an actual publisher would pay. I’m pretty sure that erotica would fly off of the virtual shelves. I’d originally intended to use this advice for myself, but I’m finding the erotica a little difficult to write because I’ve never read any real erotica. Also, I think I need a pseudonym because I really don’t want my mother googling my name and finding something as explicit as I’m thinking about writing. Again, it would help if I could get past the one scene, but I think you’d be able to actually write something since you write for a living. With all that being said, I call dibs on the pseudonym Amanda Hugenkiss.

    Good luck with your list!

  11. Bon

    i have this strange urge to get drunk and try cardioke.

    i also find myself sort of boggled at the idea that you can just…choose…between NYC and LA. i need to think that one through.

  12. OMSH

    Texas is an option…after all, we have fried squirrel.

    We also have sushi.

  13. GrandeMocha

    Please, please, please do Cardioke & put it on youtube. And come visit Detroit. I’ll give you a ride in my Volt.

  14. natalie

    …if your decision to move takes you to Cali, the exercise thing and the writing will take care of itself.
    decision+move+cali+writing a screenplay+exercise=flirting.

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