Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Charlie Sheen’s Daughters Unhurt in LA Car Crash

My mother and I are watching Access Hollywood when this story comes on:

Male host:  “Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards had quite a scary night.”

Image of a crushed car near PCH.

Male host:   “This is the mangled car after it was hit by another car during an accident in Malibu.  Inside the car, were the Sheens two daughters, driven by their nanny. But don’t worry, the two beautiful girls are both fine!”

Female host:   “What a relief!”

I turn to my mother.

Neil:  “What about the nanny?”

Mother:  “No one cares about the nanny.”

Is the nanny in the hospital?  Is she still alive?  Has she been fired?  I searched online and cannot find any information about the nanny.   Is my mother right?  Why doesn’t anyone care about the nanny?

26 Comments

  1. I found news of the nanny!

    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tvguide/392089_tvgif13.html

    Indirectly, she is fine. (The final paragraph reads, “Only the driver of the Honda [the “other” car] was injured.”)

  2. When you have found out, let us know.

  3. I had the exact same thought when I saw that story “what about the Nanny?”

  4. The nanny, the orchid plant in the hallway… in Hollywood, what’s the difference?

    If you had asked me yesterday, I would have forgotten that Charlie Sheen HAD daughters.

  5. Good grief! Celebrity reporting can be so brazenly dispassionate toward mere mortals.

  6. The nanny was watching porn on the vehicle’s DVD player while driving and this is the REAL cause of the accident. The porn was supplied by CHARLIE and included exclusive footage of him and several of Heidi Fleiss’ grrrls. I’m sure this is the truth. There’s a conspiracy to cover it up among the LAPD and Charlie’s publicists. Perez Hilton is shaking down inside sources and will have the sex tape posted soon. Stay tuned. The nanny WILL surface and tell ALL. ; )

  7. V-grrl — I think his last nanny testified that he was touching the kids inappropriately. So hard to get good nannies anymore!

  8. This reminded me of something that happened in Paris at the beginning of the year. A secretary working for a lawyer was killed when she opened a bomb that had been delivered for the lawyer. For hours they went over how much of a scare the lawyer got. The secretary got virtually no press and she was the victim. Ostensibly so that her family could be contacted but even after her name had been released it was the lawyer’s name that dominated the press.

  9. Perhaps one of the girls was driving. Hence the accident.

  10. Awwe, we were watching that together (well, ‘cept in different states … and you didn’t know it) but, indeed, I wondered the same thing. Why no report on the Nanny?

  11. Because a Nanny in Hollywood is like last season’s Marc Jacobs bag. They don’t want to be seen with it, could care if it gets damaged. They will just get another one. C’mon Neil. You know its true.

  12. That reminds me of this Onion article ‘Beyonce Unhurt after Stray Bullet Hits Passerby’ – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHVvVmUNBFc

  13. I think the entertainment media would only care about the nanny if she was having an affair with Charlie Sheen.

  14. I heard she managed to pop open her umbrella and fly out of the vehicle just before impact.

  15. Gah, who cares about the nanny? She only RAISES their children.

  16. I had no idea that had happened. But now I REALLY want to know how the nanny is doing.

  17. You really have to cut the apron strings! Your with your mom? AGAIN?

    She’s right though, no one gives two shits about the nanny!

    (psst … I wouldn’t have said that stuff about you and your mom, if you hadn’t told me NOT to be so nice to you!)

  18. I would love for someone to start a publication or TV channel dedicated to reporting on all the everyday activities of the nannies and garbage collectors and dog walkers and grass mowers of the rich and famous (without mentioning them at all). It would be so meta, and would probably secretly annoy the famous people, even though they wouldn’t admit it.

  19. How rude of them, poor nanny. She should sue.

  20. I am glad she is okay, I care about the nanny.

  21. Well, does she vacuum? Probably not. Tell Sophia I told you to vacuum and shut up about it. And I need that vacuum cleaner, Neil, that Dyson. I have a poor track record with these things and I never even touch them.

  22. No one cares about the Nanny because people are assholes.

    Sorry I am in a dark mood today.

    Glad to hear she is okay.

  23. Janna — I’m not sure people are assholes. We always care for some more than others. The question is why do we care about these kids so much, and so little about this other person? Or the person in the other car?

  24. So, may I ask? What about the driver in the Honda? You know, the one with the cheaper car that crushes on impact?

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