the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

What I Learned in Therapy Today

I’m emotionally dependent on my mother.

I’m emotionally dependent on Sophia.

I’m emotionally dependent on my friends.

I’m emotionally dependent on women.

I’m emotionally dependent on my therapist.

I’m emotionally dependent on sex.

I’m emotionally dependent on writing.

I’m emotionally dependent on readers of my blog.

On the positive side, I don’t have a drinking or drug problem.


  1. abbersnail

    LOL. Me, too.

  2. Backpacking Dad

    How did you learn something in therapy? Did you steal your therapist’s notebook? Did you eavesdrop while your therapist talked about you with another patient?

  3. Nat

    Well, you could be emotionally dependent on running then have your body declare it is emotionally dependent on couch time…


  4. psychomom

    WOW I’m the complete opposite. No emotional ties but I don’t really care when I’m high. Party on Wayne!

  5. Katherine

    I could have told you that for free. But I don’t know you that well and I didn’t want to offend you.

    Plus, it has more meaning if you realize it yourself.

  6. Joe Crawford

    Sounds like excellent work. Good job Neil!

  7. sizzle

    I think you are supposed to be emotional dependent on your mom! But yeah, this is progress.

  8. Jane

    Well, at least you’re not an independently emotional asshole. You have that going for you.

    I’m only surprised your penis was not mentioned in this post.

  9. Neil

    Jane — He goes to group therapy on his own.

  10. Kimberly

    Well, you are ahead of me then.

    Great timing. I see mine tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll bring your list so I can just go downhill from there.

  11. AnnieH

    I bet if you start with some “Gateway” drugs you could develop an addiction to drugs AND alcohol before your next session. Do us proud, Neilochka. Go out there and kick some emotionally dependent ass.

  12. Jane

    Oh, I want to read that therapy session, Neil. 🙂

  13. will

    It’s not too late to start drinking.

  14. Alison

    What Will said.

  15. cajunvegan

    I’m emotionally dependent on the comment love.

  16. LVGurl

    You actually feel emotions, which puts you ahead of most people!

  17. Dagny

    Emotions are overrated. Come on up for BlogHer and I’ll make sure you’re addicted to all kinds of stuff.

  18. Miss Syl


  19. HeyJoe

    Man, you’re F-ed up. Sounds like you could use a good, stiff drink my friend.

  20. Long Story Longer

    Um. At least you’re not completely cut off from your emotions? Anyone?

    Therapy is hard work, Neil. Good for you for doing it.

  21. wendy

    We’re all emotionally dependant. We are all in this together.

    Carry on.

  22. teahouseblossom

    I’m pretty emotionally dependent on your blog, too, Neil. So we can be bloggingly co-dependent.

  23. the slackmistress

    Wait, you paid for this? We could have diagnosed you for free!

  24. -RM

    congrats on not being a lush/junkie!

  25. Neil

    Of course, after I realized all this, I asked Brenda, my therapist, “So what do I do now?”

    “How the hell should I know.” she answered. “You’re being emotionally dependent again. Get the f**k out of here and figure it out yourself!”

  26. Jeannette

    Please define “emotionally dependent” and how its different from the phrase “I like.”

  27. Whit


  28. dan-E

    i don’t have a drug problem but drinking problems are kinda fun. really.

  29. Pumpkin

    I like Brenda. She gives good advice. 🙂

  30. brettdl

    I’m going to recommend a life-changing event. Something way out of your comfort zone. Something that you would never do. Perhaps you could have a contest and let your readers decide what it might be? Examples (unless you’ve already done one of these):

    Sky diving
    Hike the Oregon trail … by yourself
    Swim the Atlantic (Okay, just kidding.)
    Scuba diving the Great Barrier Reef.
    Take a metal smithing class

    Whatever you choose, it has to be something you would never do in a million years. And you have to succeed at it. I can’t guarantee it will help, but at least you would have something to focus on.

  31. V-Grrrl

    At least you’re not emotionally dependent on plankton and barnacles. That would show some real deficiencies in judgement. And you’re not emotionally dependent on sex WITH your mother, which would be way twisted.

    Maybe we should consolidate your dependencies to make them easier to treat: Like you could become emotionally dependent of writing about sex with friends who are readers of your blog and expecting Sophia and your mother to disapprove, driving you to your therapist’s office. Then we’d just have one big issue to deal with, huh?

  32. alissa

    Well, at least you’re a people person and not a hermit?

  33. Finn

    So basically you’re emotionally dependent on everything and everyone but yourself… maybe you need to be rebirthed and start all over.

  34. bookfraud

    so you need validation through sex, family, friends, your blog, writing, and your shrink.

    sounds familiar. welcome to the wonderful world of creativity!

  35. TRO

    There is emotion involved in sex?

  36. DaveX

    No shit, Neil. Stop thinking about it so much, and you’ll probably feel better.

  37. ali

    dear god…i so need a therapist…

  38. Noelle

    I tried therapy once, but after filling out the checklist and confirming that I don’t have substance abuse problems or hear voices, I figured I didn’t need it. There was no “comment addiction” checklist item at the time.

  39. churlita

    So, was your therapist saying that being emotionally dependent was a bad thing?

  40. Neil

    Neil to therapist: “I’m quitting therapy. I found something much better.”

    Brenda the therapist: “You have? Please tell me.”

    Neil to therapist: “Yes, I’ve decided to listen to my blog readers instead. I’ve gotten drunk, slept with my mother, played with my penis, used heroin, sky dived in the nude, been reborn, found Jesus, and you know what — I’m cured!”

  41. TorontoPearl

    Exactly just HOW MANY HOURS LONG did your therapy session run for you to discover all that in one day? You must’ve put out lots of cash to cover that session, which means that you won’t just be emotionally dependent on your mother, on Sophia and on friends, but you will now be financially dependent on all those people.
    At least you’ve become enlightened… 🙂

  42. Therese

    Wait one second. Hold the phone. Are you saying that you didn’t know these things before? 😉

  43. Karl

    Time to start up on drugs and booze, I’d say.

  44. natalie

    at least you have feelings. you nice. you’re smart, and dog gone it people like you!

  45. ACG

    I bet you I spend less on booze and drugs in a yr than you spend on therapy 🙂

  46. mp

    The first step is admitting you have a problem, the second is telling the world on your blog.
    OK, you’re cured. Next topic.

  47. Hilly

    This made me literally snort loudly at my desk.

  48. Jennifer

    So, you’re emotionally dependent.

    Means you are human, you know?

  49. barbetti

    I believe we are seeing the same therapist. Except she tells me that I seek validation in “inappropriate places,” so at least I have that going for me.

  50. brettdl

    Sky diving nude? Now that WOULD be a life-changing event.

  51. Karla

    I learned all this about 2 years ago when I read the first three lines of the first post I’d ever seen of yours. I wish I had known I could save you a lot of money by telling you then. I just assumed you knew. Sorry, buddy.

  52. plain jane

    Ok, let me just say that every time you talk about Brenda, I imagine that Brenda Starr is your therapist.

    During a rough patch (that lasted a couple years) I had a sign by my bed that said, “Give me a break, I don’t do drugs.”

  53. HRH @ June Cleaver Nirvana

    At least you are consistent.

  54. Anonymous City Girl

    i think i just realized that am not emotionally dependent on anyone… i’m thinking being on the opposite side may not be the healthiest either.

  55. Turnbaby

    Sugar–You made me spew beer! Bad Neil;-)

  56. therapydoc

    I see this all as a good thing, socially connected kind of thing.

  57. piglet

    that’s a relief that you don’t have a drug or alcohol dependency, b/c after you get sober you find that you are dependent on everything else in your life.

    which, i guess you already are. i had a thought, aren’t we all emotionally dependent upon these things and it’s ok?

    as an avid therapy receiver, “they” say it’s about balance. balance is the trickiest trickster in all the land.

  58. Ginormous Boobs

    And at least you aren’t one of those furries…

  59. OMSH

    I choose drugs.
    Oh wait…chocolate.
    Yep, I choose chocolate.

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