Bailiff: The State of NaBloPoMo vs. Neilochka!
Prosecution: Your honor, On October 31, as part of NaBloPoMo, Neil “Neilochka” Kramer signed a contract stating that he would write a blog post every day in November. On November 9th, he wrote a lame misogynist “post,” if you can even call it a post, on his blog, Citizen of the Month, which was about him sleeping with six women at once. Hoping that the post might inspire some female blogger to actually offer herself on Saturday night to being part of the experiment, Mr. Kramer decided to keep the post displayed on top of the front page for an additional day, during November 10th. Thus, the same post was displayed on two separate days, disqualifying him from being an active participant in NaBloPoMo. However, he refuses to accept responsibility for his actions, and willingly continues to post to his NaBloPoMo site. We have no other solution but to take legal action. Thank you.
Judge: Neilochka, your response.
Neilochka: Thank you, your honor. I will be representing myself. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Every morning, I wake up and do a little reading. And what do I read? Blogs? Email? No, the Good Book itself. In Genesis, God creates the world in six days, and rests on the seventh. Did he really create the world in six day? Or does his “six days” represent something much different? Some scholars think that God’s six days can be thousands of years in human years, which helps us unify the worlds of religion and evolutionary science.
Many in the blogging community consider me a “God” as a blogger, one who operates under his own rules. After all, isn’t my blog my own creation, one that comes forth from myself? When I accepted my commitment to NaBloPoMo, I DID say that I would blog every day in November. But WHO is to say that your “day” is the same as my “day?” Perhaps my day is actually TWO of your days? Why should God get a free pass in creating the world in “six days,” when I have to follow your cliched idea of what a “day” means?
Clearly, the only explanation is that those who insist that I be expelled from NaBloPoMo are the same people who hate God, and everything good in the world. Do you really want to be one of those people?
I rest my case.