I met this man today who was seventy years old, but looked fifty, and seemed in better shape than me. With people living older nowadays, I think the old way of determining someone’s age is increasingly irrelevant. Someone can be a lot “younger” at 65 than 25. In order to discover a person’s “real age,” I offer the “Britney Spears” age test.
OLD – has never heard of Britney Spears.
SENIOR – has some vague knowledge of Britney Spears being pregnant and getting married to someone from hearing her mentioned on Leno.
MIDDLE-AGED – knows who she is and doesn’t give a s**t about Britney Spears and wonders why so much airtime is given to someone so uninteresting.
IMMATURE ADULT – doesn’t give a s**t about Britney Spears and wonders why so much airtime is given to someone so uninteresting, but is willing to still go to some salacious website to see Britney Spears in a car wearing no underwear (find it yourself!).
“GENERATION X” – reads US Magazine and worrries a lot about Paris Hilton’s negative influence on Britney Spears.
CHILD – knows the actual lyrics to four Britney Spears’s songs.
A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: Twenty-Five Years Later