The recent discovery of the Gospel of Judas after 1700 years shows "Judas Iscariot not as a betrayer of Jesus, but as his most favored disciple and willing collaborator."
So, it probably time to stop using the word "Judas" as synonymous with "betrayer."
May I suggest a new term — "Megan."
Yes, cute and lovable Megan, the blogger who befriended my wife despite my concerns that this friendship will only means trouble.
Men, do not let this happen to you. Keep your girlfriends and wives locked away when meeting fellow female bloggers. Women will always betray you. It’s like they have a secret sisterhood.
What happened? Why am I so up in arms today?
Well, yesterday, I was in a very happy mood. I got all my passive-aggressiveness out in my blog post and I was pure positive energy. I even thought I’d surprise Sophia when she came home by opening the door wearing nothing but my boxer-briefs. But as I opened the door, all I noticed was a scowl on Sophia’s face.
"I hear you wrote about me on the blog today." she said. "And you portrayed me in a unflattering light."
"Uh… no, I portrayed you as nice. How did you know what I wrote about today?"
"Because Megan called me. She didn’t like how you wrote about me. She said I need to bop you on the head when I get home. And if she could, she’d beat you up, too."
"Megan… called you up… about my blog post?"
This was utterly shocking to me. My Megan… the blogger I used to flirt with in emails.. can she be turning into a fink rat informer? If she did this, she just broke one of the major rules in the blogger’s handbook. "Do Not Rat Out Blogger to Wife."
"You are so TAKING that post down now. You promised that you would ask me first before writing about me."
"I can’t take the post down. I’m getting tons of comments on it. And you’re the good one in the post. Really. It’s all about how I’m the passive-aggressive one."
"Did you tell them how you bought the exact cake that I told you NOT to buy."
"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure… I made you look good and me bad."
"And I’ll say it again. I’m not like my mother."
"Of course not." (add appropriate emoticon for sarcastic effect)
(Editor’s note: The last two lines were never really exchanged, but were added for "humorous effect.")
Sophia is really wonderful. Eventually, she said it was OK to keep the post (after making a few minor adjustments to the story). I see it as a victory for male bloggers everywhere. Like Woodward and Bernstein, I stood true to my story. I didn’t let the woman call the shots.
For once, I roared like a Belgian tiger!
Later that afternoon, we got ready to attend our second Passover Seder. No cake debacles here. Our second seder was one of the nicest I’ve ever been to. Sophia and I were invited to the home of blogger Danny Miller, who not only writes his own terrific blog, but contributes to the Huffington Post. So going to his big-wig seder is the blogger’s equivalent of going to the celebrity seder of Leonard Nimoy. Danny and his wife, Kendall, have an amazing historic home, the brisket was perfect, the guests were interesting, Sophia sang wonderfully, and Danny’s daughter, Leah, impressed us all with a puppet reenactment of the Ten Plagues.
But perhaps the highlight of the evening was when Kendall served me the matzoh ball soup with two giant matzohs balls.
"I hear you like big boobs."
Obviously, Danny told this bit of information to his wife. But that’s OK. I don’t mind Danny imparting that type of information to the world. I know Danny would NEVER rat me out to my OWN Wife.
Eh tu, Megan?