the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Easy Money

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Sophia and I at IHOP this morning, reading the LA Times.

Me:  You know Lawry’s, the fancy "Prime Ribs" place?

(reading)  "Steeped in tradition, Lawry’s takes pride in serving up prime rib from silver carts much the way the family-run restaurant chain’s founders did in 1938, when they opened the original Beverly Hills location.

But the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission said Tuesday that in employing mostly female servers in its upscale eateries, the Pasadena company might be too retro for its own good.

In an unusual class-action lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, the agency charged the chain of seven restaurants with maintaining a hiring policy established in 1938 that discriminates against men."

Sophia:  I see this ALL THE TIME in court.  You know what you should do?  You should try to get a job some place where they’re never going to hire you, then sue them for a million dollars.  LIke at Hooters.

Me:  That’s so funny you said that.  Listen to the last paragraph.

(reading)  "In 1997, Hooters of America Inc. agreed to pay $3.75 million to settle a suit filed by men who said they were turned away when they applied for jobs at the chain, which is known for its female servers in revealing outfits."  

Sophia:  There goes that idea.  But I’m sure you can find some place else to sue.   How about Curves?

Neil:  Or Victoria’s Secrets?

Sophia:  I have the best one.  That bikini wax place on Pico Boulevard.  They’re never going to hire you and then you can say it was discrimination.

Neil:  Yeah, easy money from the settlement.  Although, you know, it would be a pretty cool job if they actually gave it to me.

31 Comments

  1. Megan

    I totally think you should get a job giving bikini waxes and write about it as an expose on the inner working of the waxing world. You could win a Pulitzer or something! No? Well, you’d get to see a lot of who-hahs at least.

  2. The Retropolitan

    Do you REALLY think giving bikini waxes would be a fun job?

  3. claire

    I’m with The Retropolitan. Besides, if you looked like you were having too much fun giving bikini waxes, you might end up the one getting sued.

    I’d go for Victoria’s Secret if I was you. They’re bound to be able to pay a much better settlement than a waxing place on Pico and if they did hire you, you could train to measure women for their proper bra sizes.

  4. Student Nurse

    I would never get a bikini wax from a dude. Not just because he is male but because of the revenge factor!

  5. Denise

    I don’t think the waxing place would be good, either…unless you’re not squeamish about ripping off flesh, blood, etc. (Men just have NO IDEA!)

  6. Neil

    I faint when they take my blood, so I might need to change my mind on that one.

  7. Danny

    That’s funny–this weekend I was dragged into a Victoria’s Secret for the first time and was surprised that the sales clerk waiting on Kendall was male. So much for your class-action lawsuit. I spent the whole time in there screaming things like “Do women wear this UNDER their clothes?” They had all these bras with sequins and stuff on them. The salespeople just rolled their eyes at me.

  8. Hope

    Yeah, I have to back Danny up. A guy I used to date works at Victoria’s Secret. He started working there AFTER we dated. I swear. He fits right in with the girl who works there with the giant Cookie Monster tattoo on her chest.

    Anyway, good luck with the law suit!

  9. Candace

    Hi Neil. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I think you should apply for a position as a bra fitter at Macy’s or Nordstroms or one of those upper-end type places. Surely they must have bra fitters. And there’s no screaming or blood that way. Well, less anyway.

  10. Kevin

    The very thought of bikini waxing scares me. I don’t even think I could do it to people I don’t know

  11. better safe than sorry

    careful what you wish for. it would be just your luck some fat italian guy is going to want a wax.

  12. Bre

    I agree with what’s already been said – with waxing you’ll get in way over your head… sure, it’ll be nice at times – but when the gross people come in for a first time visit, you are going to cry for mercy

  13. MA

    You could try to get a postion as a nanny. And then write a blog about it.

  14. cruisin-mom

    true about the male Victoria’s Secret employees. Creepiest shopping experience of my life.

  15. Dave2

    I’m sorry, but I have no idea what today’s entry is about… I just saw boobies, and the rest was like blah blah blah blah.

    Keep up the good work! ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. that girl

    i think candace is on to something with the bra fitter idea. much easier than a bikini waxer.

  17. Rabbit

    My grandfather told me I should work at Hooters. I’m still scarred by the experience.

    Good luck with the lawsuit.

  18. Jacynth

    Love it. Bra fitter is perfect….I once had one of those crazy ladies cup me in plain sight! “Oh honey, you aren’t a C, you’re a D!” Not embarrassing at all!

  19. leesepea

    I waited tables to put myself through college. I started out small (CoCo’s) and moved up a little (Black Angus) before getting in an accident that forced me into a desk job (check my archives if you’re curious).

    In between desk jobs and becoming a teacher, I used to joke that I wanted to apply to Hooters, not because I wanted to go back to waitressing but because I had gained some weight after the accident and I knew that, while I have a great rack, they wouldn’t hire me because I wouldn’t look cute enough in their costume, then I could file a lawsuit and pay for school without having to worry about finding work.

    *Wink*

  20. ChickyBabe

    Go for the wax job. You’ll learn the fine art of small talk while ripping hair off!

  21. Scarlet

    I’ve been trying to think of a place to sue all day and have come up with nothing. NOTHING!

  22. justrun

    You have to go for a huge organization, otherwise, your settlement will be $3.75. No million.

    Not that I’ve thought about this or anything.

  23. Mik

    In my youth when I wrote short stories for top shelf seedy men’s magazines I saw one was advertising for someone to work the phones. As I dropped off another story I enquired about the job and was told they were looking for sexy voiced females for their sex lines. Dang I could’ve sued!

    Mik

  24. ms bees knees

    i was waxed and at one point made to get on all fours. yeah… it was horrifying. i can’t imagine how the waxer felt. meh… perhaps you’d be more sucessful as a wet nurse?

  25. AMS

    Judging by the ruffled state of your own hair I don’t think I could entrust my pubal area to you Neil!

  26. stephanie

    you might think waxing is all fun and who-ha’s, but i had a friend who waxed for a living and you’d be quite surprised by the number of men that come in looking to wax their back and/or @ss! yeah, that’s right…
    do you really wanna go there?

  27. sara lee

    Leave the waxing to the ladies…it is better for you to just enjoy the end result!

  28. The Moviequill

    I hear Hooters grounded their airplane service… but they can still get my rocket up

  29. Jessica

    Neil, in the future, please ask my permission before you post my picture.

  30. ACG

    I just got my first FULL bikini wax… You might as well become a GYNO.

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