the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Month: December 2005 (Page 3 of 3)

A Chicken Sausage for One of the Mishpucha

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(Mishpucha: family in Yiddish)

Jordan Monkarsh
CEO
Jody Maroni’s Sausage Factory

An Open Letter

Dear Jordan Monkarsh,

Before I tell you why I’m writing to you, please let me explain who you are to the readers of this blog.  You are the gourmet hot dog and sausage king of the Los Angeles area.   I first learned of your delicious gourmet dogs at your famous Jody Maroni’s stand on Venice Beach.  Soon, you had stands in several places around town, including Dodger Stadium and LAX.   Trader Joe’s even started selling your great turkey and chicken sausages. 

I thought about writing this letter to you for about a year now, but I always felt embarrassed and "chickened out," as they say in the sausage business.  Today, Sophia suggested I blog about you, and hopefully you’ll end up seeing this on Google and respond.

My reason for writing you is quite simple.    A year ago, I learned that you, the creator of my favorite gourmet hot dogs, weren’t really a Jody Maroni, but a Jordan Monkarsh.  Now Monkarsh is also my mother’s maiden name.  I have never met anyone else with that last name.   Do you know where this name comes from?  Is it the name of a small village in Eastern Europe somewhere perhaps?   Who knows, maybe we are long-lost relatives brought together by our love of chicken sausages?

Now, I’ve been reluctant to write to you because I was afraid you would think that I’m a crackpot, or worse – some loony out to ask you for money.  I’m sure you’re worth millions by now.  Even if we are somehow related, I do not want a penny.  I don’t even want any free sausages.  OK, one might be nice — just as a gesture for the family.

All I really wanted to do was say hello.   I thought that there might be some weird spiritual reason that one of my favorite Los Angeles foods was created by someone with the same last name as my mother’s.

While I have your attention, here’s a little story you might find amusing:

Several years ago, my wife, Sophia Lansky, and I went to Memphis to visit Graceland.  While walking around town, we noticed that inside the famed Peabody Hotel was a men’s clothing store named Lansky’s.  It was a famous place in town because the Lansky Brothers were Elvis’ official clothiers.  They supplied Elvis with his flashy early clothes and his famous Gold Lame’ jacket for his early performance on the Ed Sullivan Show.

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We went inside the store and asked one of the salesgirls if there was still a Lansky involved with the store because Sophia’s last name just happened to be Lansky as well.   All of sudden, the salesgirl grew concerned and called over a security guard.  The store seemed to go on red alert.  A curtain opened from the back and an elderly, but dapper, very-successful looking Jewish man entered.  This was BERNARD LANSKY himself, the man that clothed Elvis.  We were as close to being with Elvis himself as we would ever get. 

"So, you say you’re a Lansky," he asked.

"Yes." said Sophia.

"Where were you born?"

"Russia."

"Where in Russia?"

"Odessa, now in Ukraine."

"I know.  I know.  Do you have two forms of ID on you proving that you are a Lansky?"

Sophia showed him her CA drivers license and her SAG card.

Bernard Lansky eased, but only a little.

"And what do you want?"

"Nothing.  Lansky is a fairly rare name. Just curious to meet someone with the same last name."

Bernard Lansky explained that over the years, many people, claiming to be Lanskys, had tried to get money from him.  We assured him that we had no interest in his money.

He became friendlier and told us all about clothing Elvis wore and how he personally made Elvis his gold lame jacket.  He said that his store on Beale Street became a big success because everyone wanted to dress like Elvis.   Bernard Lansky and Sophia talked a bit.  It seemed that Bernard’s family came from Russia also.  When some customers came in, we decided to leave.   Before we left, he told Sophia to "keep in touch."

"One more thing," he said.  "I have a gift for you."

He gave Sophia a souvenir from his famous store in Memphis – a hanger.  Mind you, it said "Lansky" on the hanger, but it was a hanger.

So, Mr. Monkarsh, as you see, Sophia did not walk away empty-handed.  Sophia left Mr. Lansky carrying a precious memento. 

What about you?  Would it kill you to give one free Tequila Chicken Sausage with Jalapenos, Corn and Fresh Lime sausage to someone who just might be part of the mishpucha?

Sincerely,

Neilochka

Today on Blogebrity:  Humanity Critic  (his site)

Twenty-Five Years Later

I don’t like to toot my own horn, but lately, I’ve been living quite a glamorous life.   As a trend-setter, I’m invited to all sorts of openings, events, and theater.   Frankly, I feel a little sorry for your dreary lives, but I hope by telling you about my experiences, you can feel a little bit better about yourselves by just knowing me, and impressing your friends with that information.

Last night I went to the premiere of a new theatrical piece that’s coming over here straight from London.   Most of you are just too "out-of-the-loop" to have heard about this play, but I was given a unique opportunity to see it before the general public.  The piece is quite interesting, as it is a play with music, but rather than a traditional story, it is based on the poetry of a well-known British poet, T. S. Eliot.  The show revolves around a cast of feline characters, so the title is very apt, "Cats."  There are several memorable songs and some surprising special stage effects.  I predict that this play will be quite successful, although I doubt the "Average Joes" who make up my readership will be able to get these exclusive tickets very easily. 

Back to reality —

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Yes, hell froze over.  I saw "Cats" because someone gave Sophia two tickets.   Actually, I love musicals, but I always promised myself that I would never see "Cats."  It sounded really boring, even though I like the poetry of the anti-Semitic T.S. Eliot.  I wish I could give you a complete review of the show, but I won’t, mostly because I fell asleep in the middle.   How can this thing be running for 25 years?  What the hell was that about?  Some cats meet up and choose which cat deserves to go to heaven?  Are these cats Mormon cats?  That was one bizarre show!

My seeing such an old show makes me think about another issue.  Who can I talk to about this show?  Everyone I know already saw the show fifteen years ago, and it was 10 years old already.  I notice that this is a growing problem with movies and TV shows as well.   With the growth of DVDs and Tivo, fewer people are watching the same shows at the same time, or even on the same night.   What’s going to happen to watercooler talk if half of the office still hasn’t watched last night’s big "Grey’s Anatomy" episode because it’s still on their Tivo. 

Have you ever rented a movie that you haven’t seen, let’s say Forrest Gump, and you loved it.  You’re busting out of your seams wanting to talk about it, but everyone else saw it years ago.  What can you do?  If you went into work the next day and said, "Hey, I saw Forrest Gump last night.  What did you think of it?," everyone would think you’re an idiot. 

Remember the old days, when millions of viewers all watched M*A*S*H together at the same time, including the commercials.

Anyway, I finally saw "Cats"  25 years after it opened.   What did you think of it?

Today on Blogebrity:  Daddy Blogs   (Rude Cactus and Dadcentric)

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