There was an old woman who swallowed a fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she’ll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she’ll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a bird,
How absurd! to swallow a bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she’ll die.

There was a blogger who ate  a taco at 2AM
Bad for your REM, at 2AM
He ate the taco cause he couldn’t sleep
And then the punishment he did reap
He thought of sex and love and writing
And why he and Sophia had been fighting
He thought of having a bit more tact
Not writing about his c*ck so matter of fact,
He tossed and turned and took a deep sigh
And then he remembered he’s “a typical guy.”

Two Years Ago on Citizen of the Month:  Really Extreme Makeover, Home Edition