I am so glad that Obama won this historic election, but I couldn’t sleep all night. I was worried about what this election would mean to my future. I’m not talking about more taxes. What truly bothered me is that as a cynical person, all this hope and good will is bad for my writing. An African-American President. Respect from the world. People caring about each other. People are so optimistic on Twitter, I don’t even recognize the application anymore. Who are these people? Weren’t they just a bunch of assholes a few days ago? Have they all changed overnight? I even read some blogger who said that from now on, she will only read bloggers who “are positive about the world.” I don’t want to lose readers, as newly good-hearted people run away from my dislike of humanity.
But then a ghost appeared to me. It was the late Nipsy Russell, the first black performer to be a regular panelist on a weekly game show. I loved Nipsy Russell, especially the poems he would recite on the old Match Game, gems like these:
If you ever go out with a schoolteacher,
You’re in for a sensational night;
She’ll make you do it over and over again
Until you do it right.
The opposite of ‘pro’ is ‘con’
This fact is clearly seen
But if ‘progress’ means move forward
What does ‘Congress’ mean?
Nipsy Russell was a big influence on my love of words. Seriously. He was great.
“Neilochka, Neilochka. Cheer up.” the ghost of Nipsy Russell said to me. “I wrote this little poem for you —
Today we all are proud
A good man’s won for you
But life would really suck
Without some sarcasm too”
“So, what are you saying?” I asked, confused and startled by his sudden appearance in my bedroom.
“I’m saying that America — the world — still needs you.” said the comedian. “God put each of us on this earth for a reason. Some are here to lead America as the President of the United States. Some to write poems on game shows. And others are here to kvetch and look at the negative side of things. America needs all of us.”
“But what is there to feel negative about? I don’t really believe that President Obama will bring in a socialist government and destroy America — like those crazy right-wing talk show hosts do?
“Neilochka, open your eyes. There is one reason to truly be cyncial about the Obama administration. Something all Americans should be in fear of every day of their lives. Something so scary, that I almost would have suggested for you to vote for McCain instead.”
“Guess Who’s Coming to Stay at the White House… a lot!”
“Oh, no – NOT MORE OPRAH!”